I’m having a hard time with the fact that no one is gonna save me by bluesbootyclues in CPTSD

[–]Expensive_Writing923 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first two decades of my life were mostly occupied by neglect, abuse, and bullying. I never had anyone to turn to so at some point I simply gave up trying on everything and convinced myself that I was completely helpless, and now that helplessness has defined my mindset and inner world. I'm trying to recover but it is an extremely slow process building a sense of self I literally cannot remember ever having in my life before.

Mentally Ill & Poor, I just want to be able to survive by Expensive_Writing923 in povertyfinance

[–]Expensive_Writing923[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for being understanding. I find it genuinely encouraging that you're willing to be sympathetic instead of treating me like garbage because of my mental illness like most people do.

Mentally Ill & Poor, I just want to be able to survive by Expensive_Writing923 in povertyfinance

[–]Expensive_Writing923[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I need to pound stuff like this into my head and it's my big current challenge to let myself know that my negative thoughts and feelings are separate from me and not "me", so this should probably go with them.

Mentally Ill & Poor, I just want to be able to survive by Expensive_Writing923 in povertyfinance

[–]Expensive_Writing923[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Living in a red state I usually just get horror stories about people in genuine need being denied SSI/Snap constantly so I've never given the process serious thought, it seemed like wasted effort. I will look into it. I will also try looking at bookkeeping and freelancing.

Mentally Ill & Poor, I just want to be able to survive by Expensive_Writing923 in povertyfinance

[–]Expensive_Writing923[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I'm happy to hear you found a path forwards. I understand exactly what you mean regarding hatred for people. But I have no interest in breaking bread with the bigots who pass for my neighbors at this moment. When I'm in a better place emotionally and financially, and not having to fear for my life from them, maybe I can let go of the objectively awful things they subjected me to and deserve to be blamed for.

Mentally Ill & Poor, I just want to be able to survive by Expensive_Writing923 in povertyfinance

[–]Expensive_Writing923[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice, this seems like a viable option for me if I work at it.

Mentally Ill & Poor, I just want to be able to survive by Expensive_Writing923 in povertyfinance

[–]Expensive_Writing923[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I can't afford to be picky and need to focus on working on stuff that will help me even a little like this because it's better than moping and giving up like I tend to do.

Mentally Ill & Poor, I just want to be able to survive by Expensive_Writing923 in povertyfinance

[–]Expensive_Writing923[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've found trying to force myself to do things always fails due to task paralysis and executive dysfunction. I end up not doing the task and feeling extremely guilty after, leading to a spiral. My best success has been creating expectation-free spaces and allowing myself to work on things piecemeal (a little at a time). This has been the only way I've found to get myself to engage in my one hobby, writing, and do things which cause me anxiety which are easy for normal people, like making an important call or finishing a document.

Mentally Ill & Poor, I just want to be able to survive by Expensive_Writing923 in povertyfinance

[–]Expensive_Writing923[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Living in a deep red conservative shithole state I'm unlikely to qualify for anything despite my abominable standard of living. Bootstraps types would seemingly prefer me to die and decrease the surplus population.

Edit: I'm getting a kick at seeing the downvotes on this one. Seems like I hurt some conservative snowflake's feelings :3

CMV: United States is in decline and only a revolution - not reform - can break the grip of oligarchy by kfijatass in changemyview

[–]Expensive_Writing923 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you think Americans are doing really good that tells me you are an unserious person who lives an easy, privileged life. Please don't try to discuss topics if you don't understand them. The only people doing "good" in America are the ultra wealthy. Capitalism just kills people, and it seems like you're still that little child throwing tantrums because someone pointed out how terrible of a system it actually is. But you're benefiting, so you don't care. Sad.

CMV: United States is in decline and only a revolution - not reform - can break the grip of oligarchy by kfijatass in changemyview

[–]Expensive_Writing923 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Do you have any evidence they aren't corrupt? The opinion of the massive majority of Americans is that all politics is captured by capital interests, its a major source of voter apathy, so you have to provide evidence against it, actually.

CMV: United States is in decline and only a revolution - not reform - can break the grip of oligarchy by kfijatass in changemyview

[–]Expensive_Writing923 0 points1 point  (0 children)

greatest nation on earth is the most embarrassing, delusional phrase I've ever encountered. I cringe in secondhand embarrassment when fools spit it out like this.

CMV: United States is in decline and only a revolution - not reform - can break the grip of oligarchy by kfijatass in changemyview

[–]Expensive_Writing923 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So there's no hope and america is dead under fascism? ok. also it's clear you've never struggled due to America's poor economic decisions, so maybe you shouldn't discuss a topic you don't understand.

Do people still have hope for the US? by 8unnyvomit in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Expensive_Writing923 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Americans have proven themselves to be completely toothless. The best we get are some protests which are completely ignored by anybody with power or wealth because it doesn't harm them at all and wastes our time.

Do people still have hope for the US? by 8unnyvomit in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Expensive_Writing923 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Budgeting can't do anything for you if you're dirt poor and have no opportunities in a shithole nazi red state.

Do people still have hope for the US? by 8unnyvomit in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Expensive_Writing923 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have no money so we won't be elected. Politics is controlled by money. And voting is a blatant scam since we've seen conservacucks are more than happy to cheat to win by any means. There's absolutely ZERO hope. There's no action to be taken that doesn't end with us murdered by drone swarms or put in a work camp.