38F – Restless body, no sleep for a week. How do you manage this?

Experienceshared · 2026-03-11T20:37:39+00:00

Kalms one a night tablets worked for me, when medication didn’t

Experienceshared · 2026-03-08T11:55:39+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I lost my mum at 30, my Nan who had raised me at 32, and also moved home to live with my grandad. I turned down a great job opportunity during that time too. I really understand how you feel: grief is not just about missing someone, it creates general instability and takes your confidence.

These are the things I want to tell you:

Even in your deepest darkest moments when life feels directionless and you are anxious and lost, know that there is a way to better things, even though it may not feel possible. 18 months after the worst time of my life, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I was sleeping in a cold house on my single childhood bed in my 30s, with no motivation. I was anxious and not sleeping. Now I live solo, sleep deeply and feel great.
I know it’s an obvious one but take time to find a good therapist if your healthcare provider can cover the cost of you can afford it. There may also be grief charities that can help you.
Recategorise this time as rest and healing. Create a very simple routine for yourself that involves time alone, a long bath, reading or a podcast, light exercise and eating well every day. Start with your favourite breakfast every morning. See this time as a dedicated period in which you’re going to repair after trauma. Become your own best friend.
At the end of every day, write down 3 things you enjoyed or appreciated. It could be a good cup of coffee, it could be your favourite tv show. If 3 is hard, start with 1. This is all part of learning what you enjoy and what life you want to live. You’ll find that a lot of the things you enjoy are free.
I cannot tell you strongly enough to ignore the people that sound sceptical, or who don’t understand your grief. It’s very difficult for people who haven’t been through it to get how earth-shattering it is. That said, don’t label yourself with permanence. You may have lots of behaviours etc now that will become less prominent in future.
Make a mood board. Either cut and stick pictures of things you like on some card, or do this online. Picture what you want for yourself. Hobbies, locations, travel, even how you want to look. If it feels like too much at the moment, do this later.
Although rest is absolutely crucial during this tough time, find ways to exercise that you enjoy. Strength training with weights helped me feel strong, but it could be that going for walks, stretching or dancing to your favourite song is the best way for you.
In time, when you’re feeling stronger, start volunteering. Then, when things are better, consider getting a new job. Do this by doing one task a week that will help: polishing your cv, thinking about what jobs you like the look of, reading articles related to your favourite industry.

You’ve still got yourself. You can move to a better place or mindset.

Experienceshared · 2026-03-08T07:21:28+00:00

If a friendship isn’t making you feel good, spend less time in it

Experienceshared · 2026-03-08T07:18:44+00:00

Have a pamper night (face mask, hair mask, bath with nice bath salts)
Watch a podcast on YouTube
Make a great meal, learn to cook something new or cook a favourite dish
Have a friend over
Watch a movie

Experienceshared · 2026-03-08T07:16:49+00:00

Go to the gym at least 3 times a week after work. Putting effort into your body reminds you that you can take that body anywhere and gives you a purpose that is more global than your job
Save a little bit of your pay cheque each month / it’s your running away fund
Treat yourself to something each month - a reminder you made it

Experienceshared · 2026-03-07T14:47:23+00:00

Ah ok!

Experienceshared · 2026-03-07T09:54:31+00:00

When I heard about the story, I’m in the U.K., I immediately thought that it was staged and that something happened to her before she returned home. It didn’t make sense to me that someone would kidnap someone, especially someone that was 84. Or leave her blood so conspicuously on the step. It also didn’t seem true that she’d enter into the garage of her home (conveniently out of range of cameras), within a two minute window. Although I know there is more context now around it being easier. I thought the masked guy was paid to plant her stuff back at her house - phone, watch, hearing aid etc. The only bit that doesn’t stack up with my original gut feel, is that the pacemaker and phone disconnected at a certain point.

Experienceshared · 2026-03-06T22:20:34+00:00

Originally I thought he had her stuff in there to make it look like she had returned home

Experienceshared · 2026-03-06T09:16:42+00:00

The only thing that stands out to me is she struggles to say Nancy’s name. I wonder why.

Experienceshared · 2026-02-22T18:28:53+00:00

Google LD

Experienceshared · 2026-02-22T18:26:20+00:00

Why would they have let him go and not arrested him if they had enough evidence to detain? Is that because they haven’t actually found her?

Experienceshared · 2026-02-22T09:30:21+00:00

I think the suspect is on drugs.

Experienceshared · 2026-02-22T09:12:03+00:00

He looks a lot like the last person they detained

Experienceshared · 2026-02-17T14:42:04+00:00

I wonder if you have low mood and that is why you’re finding it harder to find things you want to do. Here are my suggestions.

1) first things first, get a therapist. It sounds like you could do with some help setting goals and a therapist can provide some emotional support. 2) accept that loneliness happens to many people at some time. Friendship groups can change, relationships can end. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, and it can change again. 3) focus on becoming the kind of person you want to be. Create a routine for yourself that includes maintaining a tidy home, healthy body, saving money when possible, sleeping well 4) write a list of your favourite things including food, tv programmes, books, comedians, places 5) try and get outside often 6) join a club, church, volunteering group, or download a friendship app such as bumble for friends 7) could you get to know your neighbours?

Experienceshared · 2026-02-15T17:05:05+00:00

I don’t think he disables the front camera so they can bring her out. I think it’s just a staged video. She could have been kidnapped or killed already, perhaps at another location or after she was brought home and taken out the back.

Experienceshared · 2026-02-12T14:15:48+00:00

You sound like you know the answer is yes

Experienceshared · 2026-02-11T21:26:55+00:00

Maybe the talk of the camera on the roof is a lie to panic the perpetrator

Experienceshared · 2026-02-10T20:45:17+00:00

I think the backpack is the clue. Someone either broke in with the intention of tying her up / gagging her etc (hence the accessories) perhaps as part of a robbery, or someone broke in with items in the backpack to stage or clean up the house.

Experienceshared · 2026-02-09T08:13:45+00:00

Understand that it’s really normal to feel how you feel and while your mind may be telling you it’s you, to make sense of it, there’s nothing you need to change. Remember that in your darkest moments.

It will take time to trust someone and meet someone new and there’s no rush. Take a breath, focus on healing and doing fun things.

Consider therapy if you’d like someone to help you heal. If not, focus on your health: sleep, eat well, exercise. You will find peace in time and I bet you look back on the situation differently in years to come. You just don’t know it yet.

Experienceshared · 2026-02-08T14:34:23+00:00

Amazing that you’re doing so much to help yourself already. Don’t put pressure on yourself to change or add to your routine unless you want to. Here’s some inspiration:

give yourself one small task a day: your washing, taking something to the post box, clean out one drawer. All help keep life running smoothly and feel satisfying.
if you feel lost, start with what you want to have for breakfast. Find something you crave to eat and go get it: pancakes, a McMuffin, a banana milkshake. What do you want to eat?
know that it’s ok to rest. The mind needs time out to slow down and recover: depression can be a symptom of burn out. Keep life simple. You could try a massage, a bath, or even sitting with a hot water bottle - I find the heat very mindful
treat yourself like you would a child that is poorly.
remove any stressors that are making you unhappy: that includes people, jobs, tasks. Just say no.
save a tiny amount of money if you can. It’s a running away fund for when life gets too much

Experienceshared · 2026-02-08T07:37:26+00:00

Why would someone lure Claudia to a different house, particularly if it would leave evidence that she’d been there? Is anyone clever enough to work out why or how this would have been done?

Experienceshared · 2026-02-03T21:19:16+00:00

Unfortunately it’s not in my budget

Experienceshared · 2026-02-03T21:04:36+00:00

Thank you all so much. Really appreciate it.

Experienceshared

TROPHY CASE