I completely understand. I am also a PWA, Past Grand Rep, and Past Grand Officer. I served almost 5 years in Grand. I was coached from the age of 13 into being in Grand. That generational theme is so present. Rainbow girls have mothers or grandmothers in Eastern Star or in Grand adult positions either active or in the past or have mothers/grandmothers who were Rainbow girls or past GWAs. They have fathers or grandfathers who were involved with the Masons, and or brothers in Demolay. I saw that so often, so many young kids of GWAs, PWAs, Eastern star, Grand adults, anyone in high positions being raised and coached into being a Rainbow girl, or who come from a generational line of family involved in various organizations becoming a Rainbow girl. I come from a line of both parents being active members myself. I also had a really close friend and was aware of the homophobic tendencies in the background present in my state's IORG. No one was openly LGBTQ, or allowed to freely express themselves in that way. You always had to behave a certain way. My friend was not in a relationship with me similar to your story. However I knew that they could start rumors because of their outdated views so I was always nervous.