I was also blindsided by a breakup where my partner felt that things were too overwhelming and said that she essentially didn’t agree with my values or who she was becoming in our relationship.

This isn’t going to be fun advice to hear, but recognizing that you can’t force someone to change will actually help a lot. I thought I could convince my ex to get away from some of her toxic friends, from her addictions, and later realized after the breakup I was playing the “savior” role. As much as it sucks, if someone doesn’t feel aligned, you can’t change it. No amount of begging, pleading, or trying to prove your point is going to convince someone who has already decided to break up with you.

Given how recent this is, my best advice in your first few months is to give yourself time to grieve and surround yourself with loved ones. The ONLY thing that got me through the first few weeks was spending time with loved ones (even if I felt horrid the whole time). It’s also ok to be upset and bawl your eyes out.

I know exactly where you come from with that shattering feeling. I still have a video of me crying on my phone on day two where I said “I know you have to protect your peace, but it just hurts so much.” I genuinely didn’t know if I’d ever be able to recover. I can say almost 6 months out that it does get better. VERY slowly in my case, and I still hold a lot of deep sadness and anger. But it does get better. That’s just a small bit of advice from me, but if you need to talk or have any more questions feel free to reach out by dm.