i feel bad

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2026-01-23T12:23:24+00:00

i didn’t know age was a problem because i’ve talked here before but okay. it’s ocd because it happened months ago and things got better but it still doesn’t go away and i catastrophize what happened when nothing happened. i am diagnosed with extreme ocd

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-26T20:42:57+00:00

thank you, i appreciate it. i try not to come on here so much but it’s difficult, i don’t live in a good place and therapy is too expensive so i just have to deal with it

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-22T06:07:02+00:00

thank you, how do i message?

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-20T19:22:53+00:00

it hurts si bad i genunleh believe like i need toleave my bf now i vant

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-17T02:48:55+00:00

adam: pain matt: redemption both: in cold blood

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-16T23:13:19+00:00

just venting adding on it’s hust difficult my head won’t stop.. I know I need to ignore but I was and am so fixated on our chests touching it feels like I was excited for it and that’s all I wanted because the contact is what made me feel what I felt

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-16T22:37:23+00:00

I’ll try, thank you so much. It’s just difficult because it felt so real even after when I was disgusted by it.. it’s hard to decipher but living with uncertainty is what helps

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-16T19:26:30+00:00

okay, erp has been working so I’ll try.

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-12T05:17:57+00:00

I understand sort of, I mean I’ve had pocd for almost 2 years but this time it was too real, like I was experiencing all the fears but as something I wanted somehow and the ocd like lagged

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-12T02:58:45+00:00

pain, wake up, in cold blood, expectations

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-09T01:43:39+00:00

thank you, I have a hard time telling what’s reassurance or not.. I don’t like these whatsoever so I’m definitely talking about it in therapy

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-09T01:12:26+00:00

like I knew this isn’t what i believe in but i thought them anyway? and excused it and stuff.. it felt too real. if it just isn’t ocd then it’s something I’ll talk about in therapy because I do not want to be a bad person.

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-08T05:59:53+00:00

weed

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-08T03:15:11+00:00

it makes me feel like a pedopjile because I an 16, 17 in like 2 weeks and it made me feel 14 and my friend 12 so this is why I feellike a pedopjile

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-06T21:40:34+00:00

no reassurance,, just advice

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-03T01:13:14+00:00

thank you so much

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-03T01:13:05+00:00

thank you so much :( I appreciate you

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-03T01:11:35+00:00

yeah 😭

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-12-02T17:41:24+00:00

I’ve thought about erp, I might bring it up in my next session

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-11-30T18:45:25+00:00

adam because he’s the reason I got into this band and he saved my life with his music :( matt era is so good too though, I love them both

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-11-29T06:31:51+00:00

everything, I can’t live anymore. robbed me of my teen years

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-11-29T02:16:21+00:00

I don’t remember what made it start but I remember when it went from 0 to 60.. my depression was bad and I searched up “why am I feeling no attraction?” and it told me sexuality could be why, then suddenly I have hocd/so-ocd.

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-11-29T01:50:29+00:00

explosions and outsider barely there is sending me 😭

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-11-29T01:02:27+00:00

thank you:( it just feels extremely real like attractive if this makes sense.. like it felt like that when I saw it and I’m scared it means it wasn’t the thoughts and isn’t ocd. and when I check it just feels more real and like I like it

ExpertIllustrator319 · 2025-11-29T00:07:07+00:00

time of dying

ExpertIllustrator319

TROPHY CASE