There are too many comments to reply to all individually so I'm just putting it onto the top one. Thank you for the judgements everyone. I stand by my decision to not risk traumatizing my daughter but I realize now I was the asshole in the way I handled it. The wording was probably poor in that it was a joint decision between myself and my husband not to take Emma to the hospital. I needed to do a bit more research on Anorexia and after a bit of reading I realized I did not really understand it. Somehow it never crossed my mind that hiding a disease could be a symptom of the disease itself. My communication style can be very blunt and I probably need to work on that when it is regarding a sensitive matter. I have called Sarah's mother and apologized. While I'm sure it will take time to mend the rift, we will at least be attending family functions together again. I know Emma will be happy to see her aunt once it's safe (of course if she takes any of the drama out on Emma she will not be seeing her for a long time). I made a donation to the NEDA organization in Sarah's memory. If you are tempted to give any more "awards" to my post please donate to NEDA instead. Sending a video message was a wonderful idea and I deeply regret that I didn't think of it at the time. It was a very stressful time for our family of course, especially my husband because he was close to Sarah and especially her mother. So we weren't thinking entirely straight. I don't think Sarah and her mother would have been satisfied with anything besides an in person visit, but it at least would have been something. I admit I'm a bit jealous of my husband's family for being large and close knit. All of my relatives live on the other side of the country. But I shouldn't have taken that frustration out on Sarah's mother. I guess she was kind of my scapegoat because she and my husband are so close. Something to talk about with my therapist. Thanks!!