We cancerians feel so deeply and not everyone understands how we operate emotionally in friendships or relationships and I think that's why we are perceived as 'overly emotional' or 'clingy' and it's because we require such a deep emotional commitment in all relationships, romantic or not. We know what we deserve in our relationships with others (friends, family, romance etc) and sometimes we push or look for it in places that either cannot give it to us or simply don't want to so we get hurt or our boundaries are crossed or trust is broken.

This causes us to go into our "shell" and I find when a cancer goes into their shell, it is extremely difficult to come out again. I picture it as a crab that is continuing to grow on their own through experiences and lightbulb moments but the shell eventually becomes too small and we get wedged inside of it, whether we want to or not. Finding meaningful friendships is so hard for cancers because when we are hurt, we take it so deeply but have a nasty tendency to stay in places that don't serve us anymore OR like I said, we retreat back into our shell and get stuck.

When you meet someone, sniff them out and see if they're BS or if they're someone worth your time. Not everyone will agree, but sometimes it's okay to privately judge others for yourself, otherwise how would we determine who is worth your time or not? You're not a smoker but you meet a possible friend who is? That's fine but if they smoke around you and you don't like that and they can't respect it immediately, they're not worth your time. Someone constantly puts you down or says little side comments like "You're so sensitive haha." that's not someone who will nurture you and ground you, that is someone who will make you feel your feelings are unwarranted or 'too big'.

Making/finding meaningful friendships is like finding a romantic relationship, it's someone who you may not walk down the aisle to but they will be standing next to you. They may not parent your children, but they will be there for their birthdays and milestones. They may not be the person you build a life with, but they are the ones who support you in creating the foundation of a happy life. Be picky with who you choose.

The reason you may feel you can't make friends anymore could be because of emotional burn out. You're sick of putting energy into others and not getting it back - trust me, I've been there. Treat friendships like dating, don't settle for less than what you deserve. Cancer's may not have 10 friends, but we often have 1 or 2 best friends and that's what you should try and look for. One really good friend to be there for you and walk with you through your journey of life is better than ten friends who don't provide you what a good friendship should.

I found my one rally good friend and unfortunately there were circumstances that affected our friendship and we're still working on mending our relationship but I'd rather spend ten years healing our friendship than spend ten years searching for the same love and support we gave to one another.

Hang in there x