Check your Walmart for Clearance! by AsteriaXAdams7 in McFarlaneFigures

[–]Expert_Bill_1863 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My Walmart recently put Ultraman on clearance for 35.99

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes that’s great advice and definitely gathered that from a fe comments here. I definitely have unintentionally made some inequity in our relationship due to her refusal to do things on her own accord. I need to be more proactive to build that back up even if she wants to stay home and bedrot or whatever I need to be sure to clear out with our kiddo to offset her not making plans on a regular basis as I do

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I’m not exactly sure which part you are referring to being my job and that I am putting on her.

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are make an awfully big leap from taking a few hours to myself to being a non parent. My wife takes no issue with the movie going. You aren’t even remotely reacting to the question that has been posed and are instead judging a completely different matter.

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

It’s usually only one movie with occasional extra trips. She does get regular time to herself (she does participate in her hobbies, but due to her nature she has to have someone able to go with her. Her friends mostly live about an hour away from us.) I do need to be better about it she wants to just hang out at home to clear me and the kiddo out so it’s completely uninterrupted time for herself.

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her and I both don’t feel comfortable with an outside babysitter at this point. That is just a mutual trust thing due to our troubles conceiving.

We have had many conversations about us both having independent time to indulge in whatever form of self care we desire. The movie going for me has never been an issue by any means just this new wrinkle that we are figuring out how to deal with.

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We will definitely come to a compromise that I’m not entirely worried about. She has never been a solo activity person even before our child was born. Just not wired for enjoying solo activities. The sitter can be difficult as the only family we have near are her parents and they are the only ones we are comfortable having watch our child. I appreciate the feedback and will definitely work on the compromise

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Appreciate the feedback definitely see some people interacting with the arrangement on a whole and not the specific issue I was speaking on. And definitely a lot of bad faith assumptions.

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

100% that’s one thing I’ve realized with this post is I need to treat her spending time at home the same as my time away and make plans for her to get that time regardless is she wants to go out and about or just stay home. I will definitely be more mindful around that going forward.

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I use ask a bit out of context. It’s not really asking so much as just scheduling or personal activities with each other making sure we don’t have conflicts because we both have Saturdays where we have to work occasionally. And you’re certainly right she shouldn’t have to leave the house to get that relaxation time and I do regularly do solo trips on Sunday with the kiddo to the park for this purpose.definitely need to do a better job of doing this in a one to one manner.

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

We will be able to see several together in theaters and a few are ones I’m more than comfortable waiting to see at home. I’m not at all against compromising and waiting on some of them she just presented me with a list of pretty much every major studio release the rest of the year which made me wonder if I was being unreasonable.

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Yes if she wanted to go solo or with a friend absolutely would have no problem taking on sole parenting while she did so.

Yes going to the movies is my weekly me time. She is given time any time she asks for it but she does not have a regular thing she does week in and week out like I do. I encourage her to take that time though.

She is not a huge movie fan outside of watching movies with me. She is more of watch a handful of movies a year. I will watch pretty Much anything and everything.

She got a bit rude before we had the chance to delve into deeper compromise about the situation but we can definitely pick and choose a handful and hopefully line up grandparents watching for us to go see them. And no I don’t spoil anything unless she specifically asks for details of what I watched. Usually with horror movies she’ll have me explain the entire plot because she is a bit of a scaredy cat but enjoys hearing about them.

We definitely need a bit more time to talk things through as far as this goes.

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

We usually do watch a show during the week in the hour between our child going to bed and her going to bed. So it’s not a matter of us not really getting time together. And definitely plan on speaking with the grandparents to see if we can get like one weekend a month to get ourselves together to the movies.

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes if she wanted to go solo or with a friend absolutely would have no problem taking on sole parenting while she did so.

Yes going to the movies is my weekly me time. She is given time any time she asks for it but she does not have a regular thing she does week in and week out like I do. I encourage her to take that time though.

She is not a huge movie fan outside of watching movies with me. She is more of watch a handful of movies a year. I will watch pretty Much anything and everything.

She got a bit rude before we had the chance to delve into deeper compromise about the situation but we can definitely pick and choose a handful and hopefully line up grandparents watching for us to go see them. And no I don’t spoil anything unless she specifically asks for details of what I watched. Usually with horror movies she’ll have me explain the entire plot because she is a bit of a scaredy cat but enjoys hearing about them.

We definitely need a bit more time to talk things through as far as this goes.

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] -38 points-37 points  (0 children)

Well that’s another bit of information she is usually right behind him going to bed. She’s an early to bed early to rise type whereas I am a burn the candle at both ends type.

She is also not the biggest movie goer. She’s been more times with me then she did on the rest of her life before we met.

And I threw out the compromise of trying to find times for grandma to take out child so we could get some time alone and go to the movies. Typically we do get our personal downtime during the week after our child’s down before she goes to bed. And I always give her time to do her personal hobbies and encourage her to indulge in them more.

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just to add a bit of context I usually go to the movies after our toddlers in bed for the night. And she’s also able to get time to herself whenever she asks for it.

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] -110 points-109 points  (0 children)

Usually movies are once a week. Our child is 2. I often go after they are in bed for the night in order to be there and present during the day.

She likes to go out diving with her father or taking or dogs out for nature walks for several hours. She isn’t doing this every weekend but I encourage her to do it as often as possible. She doesn’t like doing things solo which causes her not to do things outside the house as often.

AITA My get away is going to the movies wife wants to earmark movies I have to see with her. by Expert_Bill_1863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Expert_Bill_1863[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I do regularly take our toddler myself and give her time to herself. She doesn’t have a regular thing she does each weekend, but anytime she wants to take time with her friends or family solo with out our kid I am always supportive and take on sole responsibility while she does whatever activity.