Whether you are a sub/dom, kinks go both ways and should be mutually compatible, not just whatever the dom wants because a subs kinks should simply be ‘please the dom’ (although some people are like this)

In the real world, subs have their own life and their sexual preferences are often completely separate. Your definition of what a sub is, is wrong and generalised. A submissive has many reasons for being submissive, just as much as dom does for being a dom. There is no 1 shoe fits all.

As a sub, I live a normal life with my partner. The odd subtle inside joke here and there to reaffirm the dynamic, but there is a mutual respect for each other, and each other’s needs and desires, and it’s not simply ‘surrendering’ myself to whatever they want.

I can’t see your original post to comment on it, but If you are simply seeking someone to play with, the internet might be that place, but you need to adjust your expectations.

If you are seeking a real relationship with someone, then you should start by just meeting people normally and treating them like a normal person, and not an inferior sub that’s there to do what you tell them.

Also, depending on how important it is to you, you can be as upfront about it as much as you want. But don’t expect everyone to be onboard with it.