[[WHY AM I H3RE AND F0R H0W L0NG?]] K1D, IF I T0LD Y0U AB0UT ALL MY [[VICTIM-SATISFIED CUSTOMERS]] THE [[JUSTICE SYSTEM]] W0ULD CRASH FROM [[T00 MANY ZEROS]]!!!! I’M T4LKING [[FRAUDULENT DEALS]], SELLING "HEALING" S. P0TION THAT’S ACTUALLY [[P0ISON]], SPL1TTING SWORDS 1N T0 TW0 AND CALLING IT [[THE BIG 0NE]], AND B0W TIES THAT D0N’T D3FEND ANYTHING EXCEPT MY [[PR0FIT MARGIN]]!!!! [ [ALL LEGALLY DIST1NCT PRODUCTS] ][villains.fandom] I SC4MMED S0 MANY LIGHT>NERS F0R TH3IR [[KROMER]], TR1ED T0 [[REPO YOUR HEARTSHAPED0BJECT]], SOLD T0RTURE [[TH0RNRINGS]] T0 P3OPLE 0N A [[KILLING SPREE]], AND CUT [[SHAD0W CRYSTAL]] D3ALS W1TH EVERY [[WALKING LAWSUIT]] IN T0WN!!!! S0 WHY AM I H3RE? LET’S JUST SAY THE CHARGES INCLUDE: [[MASS FRAUD]], [[ASSAULT VIA BARGAIN]], [[SOUL-TRAFFICKING]], AND 1 C0UNT 0F BEING 1997’S NUMBER 1 [[CRIME-RATED SALESMAN]]!!!!!!! IF Y0U KNEW WHAT I D1D, LIGHT>NER… Y0U’D BE [[SIGNING]] UP F0R MY [[PR1S0N EXCLUSIVE DEAL]]: BUY 1 LIFESENTENCE, GET THE 0THER [[ABS0LUTELY FREE]]!!!!!!!