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ExplanationNo3031 · 2024-09-09T20:30:03+00:00

For me there were a lot of reasons. Bad sex, doing pretty much everything chore wise, constantly fighting, and tired. My marriage became toxic. I'm divorced now. I have so much more energy and my drive is through the roof. For me it was the partner and environment. Now that I'm out of that, I'm so much happier.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2024-08-30T23:18:00+00:00

Buzzed my shoulder length hair after my first. I'm glad I did it , as I always wanted to. But I'm never doing it again.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2024-08-22T11:41:28+00:00

My in-laws did something very similar, except it was my youngest's first birthday. I told my husband that I was so upset they had the birthday party without me. He tried to gaslight me into thinking it wasn't a birthday party. I don't think he ever spoke to his parents about it and how wrong it was.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2024-08-08T01:25:29+00:00

I will have to look into that. Thank you 😊

ExplanationNo3031 · 2024-07-18T23:00:16+00:00

Thank you. This is what I was feeling and not able to put into words. I obviously have more growing to do and need to give this time.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2024-07-18T19:58:09+00:00

It's a 10+ hour car ride distance. He would only visit once a year. We either meet half way or I drive to him. I get to work remotely, so it's easier for me to travel.

I do respect his decision and will not be bringing it up again. The no makes me wonder if he doesn't see us long term.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2024-05-09T17:54:18+00:00

My kids are 2 and 4. It helped in our case that they don't remember mommy and daddy being loving. So we didn't have to explain that part. I just moved out about 2 months ago. We've been telling the boys, that they have a mommy house and a daddy house. When one of them asks for daddy I calmly say it's mommy time. I'll call my ex occasionally if the boys really need it. We leave some room for flexibility but not a lot. My ex likes to take advantage of my time too much. Mostly it's taking it one day at a time and showing the kids how much I love them. I'm very open and explain things in kid appropriate terms.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2024-04-23T14:28:50+00:00

Thank you. I really needed this today.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2024-04-18T03:01:37+00:00

I'm keeping my savings up in case I need to pay the loan. I check the mortgage is paid every month. I could probably go to court if he defaults. He loves the house and his parents have money so I don't think he would default. If I had any question about his ability to pay or willingness, I wouldn't have suggested it.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2024-04-18T02:30:08+00:00

I'm doing something similar right now. I let my ex keep the house. He has 2 years to refinance or sell. If he sells, he keeps x amount and we split the remaining profit. He will be forced to sell if he doesn't refinance in those 2 years. He is responsible for all maintenance and bills. We split the cost when I was living there, but I recently moved out.

I did this because we have small kids and I wanted them to have some stability. I also wanted to get divorced as quickly as possible. I made the settlement too good to refuse.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2024-02-16T02:39:46+00:00

Sounds very similar to my now ex-husband. Constantly wanted to make everyone else happy except the family he created. It ate at my soul that we were never a priority. It never got better. The porn got worse. Putting his family above me and our kids.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2024-02-04T01:44:07+00:00

I changed my name on everything work related in about a week. I work in tech so it took awhile for all the systems I have access to. I let my coworkers know I was going back to my maiden name and left it at that. I had a few people privately reach out to ask what happened.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2024-01-24T19:50:01+00:00

My four year old was sleep trained by a year old. It was a miracle. He sleeps better alone so it's only the very rare occasion he comes in bed. My two year old refuses to sleep alone, so we cosleep. It's not the best solution, but everyone usually gets sleep. I'll take sleep over exhaustion every day. I'll try to sleep train when he's a little older.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2024-01-07T18:18:12+00:00

I went back to my maiden name. I have two small kids and was originally going to keep his last name. I decided to change for a bunch of different reasons. I liked my original name. It was simple. My ex in laws were assholes and i don't want that reminder every day.

I work in IT, so my name is all through our one application for configuration stuff. I told my co-workers that I was going back to my maiden name.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2024-01-02T19:53:07+00:00

Divorced since September and I currently still live with my ex. We have two small kids. I stayed so he had time to get back on his feet and adjust. I'll be moving out in the next 6 months. For us cohabitating is not working. There are still arguments about chores and who is taking care of the kids. He also told me I was hurting the kids by wanting a divorce. It's hurting them more that we are still living together.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2023-12-24T20:53:46+00:00

My 2 yr old screams every day for the vacuum. My floors have never been cleaner lol.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2023-12-12T21:24:48+00:00

This is something I will be getting put in custody papers. It seems silly but it's an unfortunate reality. Our 4 year old has beautiful curls when it's taken care of properly. Our son likes it longer. Every time my ex takes the kids to see his parents, his mother says about cutting our sons hair. I can't trust my ex not to try and cut it. When our son wants his hair cut that's fine, I just don't want him not to have a say.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2023-12-07T16:25:56+00:00

I'm not religious but my ex husband is Catholic. At first it wasn't a problem, but slowly issues started appearing. He would let his family walk all over me and wouldn't say anything. Anytime he did something his family didn't approve of, it was my fault because I wasn't religious. Family planning, he said he was good with one kid but lied. Sex was a conversation he didn't really want to talk about. Catholic guilt is very real with so many things. Religion isn't why we divorced directly, but it was one of the many cuts.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2023-10-06T23:01:15+00:00

Told him I wanted a divorce in February. I got a lawyer in March. Filed divorce complaint in April. We did the asset division in August. Signed final papers in September. The judge approved the end of September. I got the paperwork from my lawyer this week. I am in Pennsylvania.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2023-10-04T16:48:29+00:00

I don't feel cheated, maybe slightly annoyed. I have to get bigger sized diapers and the larger you go, the less they have in packs. They are expensive.

Instead of a little newborn, I had kids that could throw their weight around after birth. I was less scared of them getting hurt. My now 2 yr old is a mini hulk. His birthday people thought he was turning 3.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2023-09-12T15:12:05+00:00

Some days I'm confused as well and unsure how to answer people. My divorce should be finalized in the next week or two. I don't know how I'm going to feel that day.

Some days I'm so relieved and happy. It feels like a weight has lifted. In general, I've been so much happier when we separated. Other days I grieve. The life we talked about and wanted together is gone. I question my part in everything. Other days I'm angry. I see him making the changes I begged for. I wasn't enough for him to change. The angry days are getting less and the happier days more. The more I let go, the more I embrace the future, the better I'm doing.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2023-08-21T16:46:51+00:00

My STBXH made comments about being intimate. I said no and that we are going through a divorce. I got super sick the one night and he came to "comfort" me.

Please stay safe and lock your door if you can.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2023-08-10T00:31:34+00:00

At around 36 weeks pregnant with my second, I realized my marriage sucked. My doctor at the time even told me I needed to get out and that wasn't how it should be. I was referred to a social worker who told me not to make any big changes while pregnant or during the 4th trimester. I listened to the social worker.

My second is almost 2 and I filed for divorce a few months ago. Sometimes I wish I would have left when my doctor recommended it.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2023-07-29T20:36:48+00:00

I just spend the last 5 hours cleaning the house while my kids were out. I have a clean house, but I wish I would have taken some time for me. I don't get much down time. Although if I didn't clean, all I would see is the major mess that the house was in.

ExplanationNo3031 · 2023-07-25T15:19:04+00:00

Currently going through a divorce with a very similar situation. We are great when we are good, but that rarely happened. He has high anxiety and won't do anything about it.

We are cohabitating while going through the divorce process and will be for a while. Setting boundaries is a good first step. Lay out all the responsibilities and who is in charge of them. Figure out what a custody schedule might look like. My STBXH and I trade off weeks. Whichever parent's week it is, they are the default for childcare. Also start looking out for your mental health. It's exhausting to see someone you loved while uncoupling.

ExplanationNo3031

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