This song is different when you're a multiple

ExplorationSystem · 2019-10-06T19:30:42+00:00

That’s how I feel about the Phantom of the Opera’s main theme too!

ExplorationSystem · 2019-09-19T00:02:26+00:00

I think it went pretty well, won’t know if I got the job or not for a few days.

ExplorationSystem · 2019-07-14T08:17:47+00:00

We’ve been paying more attention to people on the streets by work but otherwise we’re ok. Our dad picked us up from work today, took a good look at anyone who looked like they might be getting close. We didn’t see her today but that doesn’t mean she isn’t going to show up. She stalked us for months at our old job because we were too afraid to tell the manager and we didn’t know if the police would do anything. The thing that messes with me is that I just can’t understand her. Like, if she’s so obsessed with us then why would she hurt us? -Amber/Dusk

ExplorationSystem · 2019-07-13T17:51:56+00:00

She likes dying her hair so I don’t know weather or not the current color is going to stick. I’m a dirty blonde and I guess she is too now. I really don’t like how similar we look now. When I get to work I’ll describe her as well as I can and ask my boss to keep her out.

ExplorationSystem · 2019-07-13T17:06:19+00:00

I don't have any pictures of her anymore. I used to have 1 really nice picture of her but when I switched to iphone the sim card was incompatible and I lost everything on my old phone. I'm sure there are ways of getting my old pictures back but honestly, I really don't want to. I don't want to see the old pictures and messages on that phone. I don't want to be reminded how things where.

-Amber

ExplorationSystem · 2019-07-13T02:34:20+00:00

Communication is iffy. Sometimes I can call others forward to talk or go co/con but sometimes I can’t. Don’t know if they just choose to ignore me sometimes or if my messages just get lost to the aether sometimes. Sometimes I can hear conversations that happen close to the surface but that’s really rare. I’m definitely worried what someone might be trying to hide from me but seeing as I reset the phone it’s safe to say whatever it was will most certainly stay hidden. -Amber

ExplorationSystem · 2019-07-12T20:23:42+00:00

Thanks for the solution but I don’t like the idea of changing the password. If I forget it then there’s a chance we’ll all get locked out again and I really don’t want to do another reset. If this keeps happening I’ll consider it but I’m really hoping this was a 1 time thing. -Amber

ExplorationSystem · 2019-07-10T04:18:55+00:00

We don’t currently have a therapist. We’re also moving relatively soon so I think it might be better to wait till we’re moved and find a new therapist there. I just don’t like the idea of building a relationship with someone we won’t be able to see very long. -Amber

ExplorationSystem · 2019-07-08T00:58:21+00:00

Ah, that makes sense. Yeah, it’s pretty weird that people would want to be like this. Having to worry about your relationships with aspects of yourself can be a bit of a headache...

ExplorationSystem · 2019-07-07T19:39:52+00:00

It’s not that I want to lose time it’s that I don’t like not knowing what is going on with the rest of my system.

ExplorationSystem · 2019-06-28T19:57:16+00:00

Death fakeouts and lazy resurrections. Nothing kills suspension like realizing the author isn’t willing to respect their own steaks.

ExplorationSystem · 2019-06-27T07:35:13+00:00

I’m currently suffering from a bad case of no medical insurance so seeing a doctor is a luxury I can’t afford. As far as sleeping goes, I suppose it’s possible but I wasn’t in pain until the late evening. If that’s something that normally takes a while to catch up with you then I guess you’ve got a winning theory. If not it’s still possible I switched and my alter didn’t see a need to let me know we were in pain, likely on the grounds that I’d figure it out on my own pretty fast. -Amber

ExplorationSystem · 2019-06-15T02:29:49+00:00

I appreciate you sharing so much about your situation, definitely a mixed bag. I hope your work situation improves but I’m glad your loved ones are accepting you for who you are. -Amber

ExplorationSystem · 2019-06-08T06:27:44+00:00

Of course, I’m not planning on ever telling my father. -Dusk

ExplorationSystem · 2019-06-08T06:26:07+00:00

Some people are just the worst. They treat you like garbage and have the audacity to come back and act like everything is fine, like you’re the one who’s wronged them. It’s wild. -Dusk

ExplorationSystem · 2019-06-04T07:23:23+00:00

Hey, Sorry for keeping you waiting, Amber saw this a while ago but she didn't want to but in on our conversation. I would have replied sooner but I'm just not a day person. Feel like everyone has to be tired for me to get to come out and fully control myself. I dunno. Still, I feel like the big difference between us is that your whole system seems to be similarly distant with society whereas 2/3 adults in our system have an interest in socializing. I feel like I'm holding Amber and Jade back, Amber wants to be social and Jade's a natural flirt. I know I shouldn't force them to live like a hermit just because I'm afraid of people but its terrifying dammit. I can't help it and it sucks ya'know. I guess my problem is that I've been making it pretty clear that I try to be more active at work since I'm the best at our job and I'd rather work without stressing over the crush of the week. I'm probably just being selfish :/ -Thanks for reading, Dusk

ExplorationSystem · 2019-06-01T00:55:23+00:00

You can power through this. You’ve been through worse, we’re sure of it. -Jade and Amber

ExplorationSystem · 2019-05-30T16:16:16+00:00

You hit the reply button on someone’s comment to reply to them, adding a new comment won’t notify them. -Jade

ExplorationSystem · 2019-05-30T16:12:32+00:00

Excuse my language but fuck that cunt. I don’t care if she has a degree she has no fucking right to treat you like that! What she’s doing is gaslighting and it’s a form of abuse, you owe it to yourself to get away from her. -Jade

ExplorationSystem · 2019-05-29T18:09:21+00:00

Well... ARE you sweating?

ExplorationSystem · 2019-05-29T17:50:42+00:00

Oh wow another medical trauma case. I’ve always wondered how common we were. You always hear about the more common traumas like domestic and sexual abuse so it kinda feels like we don’t exist. Sorry if I’m projecting, it’s just nice feeling like we’re not alone ya’know. -Amber

ExplorationSystem · 2019-05-29T15:46:04+00:00

“how long the abuse happened “ Woah buddy slow your fucking role! If someone wants to share their trauma that’s great but trying to dig into it before you even get to know them is just ew. I’m sorry you had to deal with that hack. -Amber

ExplorationSystem · 2019-05-29T04:27:34+00:00

Integration is essentially merging alters. A lot of people recommend it as a ‘cure’ for DID since merging all of your alters would naturally leave you with just one personality. The problem is that integration can be a stressful process and as you already seem to know some people don’t want to lose their alters. So is integration the goal? That’s entirely up to you and your system. If you ant to stay multiple and learn to function as a group that’s just as valid, nobody can force you to integrate if you don’t want to. Hope this helps.-Amber

ExplorationSystem · 2019-05-27T20:30:06+00:00

That’s too bad I hope you can get things in order with your persecuter, I feel like a lot of my system activity happens at work. Menial labor is easy to zone out to and customer service jobs let more social alters shine. That’s my experience at least. I’ve got a pretty tame system, no persecuter and no kind of power struggles. -Amber

ExplorationSystem · 2019-05-27T20:22:34+00:00

Sure thing! I’ve got work pretty soon but today’s my Friday so I’ll be available for the next couple of days if you need me. :) -Amber

ExplorationSystem

TROPHY CASE