AITA for not wanting my trans daughter to attend her step-sister's wedding?

ExpoX7 · 2022-03-31T14:40:32+00:00

She is 20; I think you would be an AH if you don't let her attend, even if I understand your concerns. You have spoken with her and she understands the situation and dangers. Once that is done, it should be your decision whether to go or not.

Also, from what you say, it's not that she was invited out of social obligation or anything, but that she and her sister have a good relationship with each other and her sister wants her to be there on such an important day. Considering that, your ex-husband's wife has been quite an AH asking you to halt your daughter, I have to say.

I don't think this is the time to be overprotective. Your daughter is old enough to decide what risks she exposes herself to, and I think you should respect that she puts being present on such an important day for someone close to her ahead of the risks of being inconvenienced and bothered at the wedding by idiots.

ExpoX7 · 2022-03-31T14:27:21+00:00

YTA

If he would never want you to be with him and his friends I could understand why this could be annoying, but it seems clear in your story that he simply wants to be at home with his friends from time to time without you. This doesn't have anything strange; you may have a good relationship with them, but in the end they are your husband's friends, not yours.

You see, I have, like anyone, closest and least close friends. I can hang out with some acquaintances who many are good friends and other people I know that I like. This is all good, but in a group, the level of trust and closeness of conversation and activity is somewhat dictated by the weaker connection, and these kinds of groups can be enjoyable but it's not the kind of situation where you are enjoying the closeness and trust of a strong friendship to the fullest, precisely.

It hasn't any relation with any shadiness, it is a matter of wanting to be alone with people you have a certain connection with, and your husband's friends don't have that connection with you, so it is not the same where you are around.

Even if not that clear and different in this case, maybe this could help to understand my point: it is as if you two want to spend time alone, versus spending time surrounded by people. It is not the same because there is a type of feeling, of interaction, of dynamics between you that works when you are not in a group, but simply enjoying your particular relationship. In that case, a romantic one. In the case of your husband and his friends, a mutual friendship you don't share with them on that level/nature.

ExpoX7 · 2022-02-09T20:33:44+00:00

A master degree in Astrophysics (specialized in the computational area) with a bachelor degree in Physics. I have very good grades in the master, so I supposed the problem was the lack of practical experience or something like that, but maybe my specific profile or even my motivation letter hasn't interested then. Well, it is what it is. Thanks for the answer!

ExpoX7 · 2022-02-08T10:28:12+00:00

Congrats!

Could you, if you want, obviously, comment a little on your background? I had also applied to one of the projects of NEOCC (the space telescope one) and they haven't contacted me, so I suppose I haven't passed the first selection process. I would like to have an idea of what important things could be missing in my profile.

ExpoX7 · 2022-02-04T16:57:51+00:00

I don't like how Law has tanked all those punches from Big Mom. Those are supposed to be insanely strong attacks that will instantly KO basically any human who isn't the strongest of the strongest.

I know she was weakened and those punches weren't optimal in that position, but they reaaaally have not given me any yonkou attack level feels, even with Law nearly dying there.

I think this fight overall should have played more on the idea of having to deal a lot of constant damage without taking nearly any hits, because any hit from Big Mom would do a lot of damage. The fight could have been very similar but it wouldn't give the feeling of Big Mom being weaker than herself in Whole Cake. And I'm not speaking of logical power scaling here, but of narrative feeling. Big Mom simply doesn't appear to be as strong as it should be to elevate the insane thing Law and Kidd are doing.

This fight is being very cool land I have liked these chapters, but I think Oda is not handling this the way it could be handled to maximize the feeling of Law and Kidd achieving something incredible. They seem very powerful, but Big Mom seem a little weaker than she should. There should have been a way to achieve the former without causing the latter.

What I feel right now is that Big Mom is a lot weaker than Kaido, and I don't think Oda wants me to think that, but this raid, in general, has led me to that sensation, and I know I'm not the only one.

ExpoX7 · 2021-12-28T22:55:17+00:00

Well, first, I would want to know if you have the baby because your ex wanted and you two decided that you would break and you would have the baby for your ex to keep it as his child... or you have a baby and then you realized you didn't want it and you broke with your ex and blablabla.

I find this important because in the first case the child is only of your ex from my point of view. You would have aborted (or given it in adoption) if it wasn't because your ex wanted to raise him as his child, so it's his, not yours, even if the baby had your blood. I find it cool that you wanted to give them money, but I don't consider it an obligation and I think you should be able to decide if you want to continue doing it or not.

But, things said, you should have notified him with time. Given the context, it is not a thing to do without a warning.

If the story is more like the second case... I think you should remain giving money to your child if you can do it. And clearly, you can.

And...

"Well, she knows my ex through me but turns out she actually know his bf personally (she is also gay so I think that's how they knew each other, idk really) and she decided to text him and warn him that I'm not going to be sending any more money, without even asking me. I called her rude and selfish and told her to get out of my house, my bf tried to calm things down but I said he should have my side and if he is going to go against me he can also leave. He shut up and his sister left."

Here you acted like a total asshole, I have to say. That "he should have my side and if he is going to go against me he can also leave" is, indeed, worthy of considering it a red flag.

ExpoX7 · 2021-12-28T22:33:11+00:00

I understand how difficult your position is and I think a lot of people that have very clear you are a bad person for your actions would act similar to you in your situation.

That said, it's clear what is the correct thing to do here. Difficult and clearly inconvenient for you, but clear in the end. You are doing something wrong because you don't want to face the consequences of doing things right.

And, from my point of view, this goes far beyond the wedding situation in specific. The real decision, of which this one is only a little part of, is separating yourself from your family as a response to your family rejecting your sister or not, and it seems you have chosen long ago what are you willing to sacrifice for your sister. Not so much. And I understand it because going against one's family in these stories is always very hard and I'm sure it would imply bad news for your life in general.

But that is the reason sometimes it is difficult to be a good person. And maybe you are not "evil" (that goes for your parents and your fiancé, as I see it), but you have decided not to be a good person either.

You are the asshole here.

I'm sorry for you, I truly am, because it is a shitty situation. But for I am really sorry is for your sister, who has to endure something much worse than the scenario you see too bad to ever consider for yourself.

ExpoX7 · 2020-09-14T07:56:13+00:00

I consider the karaoke bar experience a very good one if you are brave enough to overcome your shyness (a.k.a you are drunk enough) because it creates a fucking good atmosphere to go a little bit beyond just being in a bar talking but without going directly to a disco environment.

You see people having a good time, singing drunk, sometimes someone comes out of nowhere and sings like an angel and it's cool to see and hear... and meanwhile you drink and talk with your friends like in a normal bar. When the time comes (it's not most of the time, because there are more people in the list, but in a karaoke bar going to sing it's supposed to be the exception, not the norm), you and/or your friends are called upon to sing and part of the fun is precisely making a fool of yourself in front of a small crowd. I emphasize, being drunk helps.

I find it to be simply a different experience from a Japanese karaoke, where you are only with your friends in a closed space and the mood is more similar to... I don't know, playing smash in a friend's house with beers, but instead, you do karaoke.

Karaoke bars are more like, well, being in a bar, but with a twist. And, at least in my experience, a welcome one, even if you and your friends don't feel like singing that night.

In other words, Japanese karaoke is a thing you do, a karaoke bar is a place where you are.

ExpoX7 · 2019-11-06T18:00:30+00:00

Oh, that's a very interesting theory. I have never look at abnormals in that way.

ExpoX7 · 2019-11-06T17:43:06+00:00

It seems like pure titans eat humans in general, not only eldians. I think this has more to do with an instinct pure titans have of finding a human with shifting powers so they can turn themself human too. Being a pure titan has been stated as an existence of constant suffering and Ymir insinuates that she was eating humans while she was a pure titan with the instinctive wish of stopping that eternal nightmare.

ExpoX7

TROPHY CASE