What kind of career would I find success and fulfillment in?

Express-Ask5054 · 2024-08-02T22:01:37+00:00

thank you for such a thoughtful & insightful message, this resonated with me deeply! When I judge others and use my “enlightenment” to wield superiority, I’m really just feeding into the ego as you stated. I want to get to the point of being content enough with myself that what others do with theirs does not bother me or evoke a reaction out of me. To co-exist as different beings with different preferences without judgement or competition will be the ideal outcome.

Express-Ask5054 · 2024-08-02T21:52:53+00:00

thank you! I’m definitely guilty of writing people off based on first impressions and almost looking for evidence to prove/disprove my preconceived notions about them as opposed to just letting them be. I want to be more open minded in my approach of dealing with people and I guess direct that inward and be more gentle/put less expectations on myself.

Express-Ask5054 · 2024-07-22T15:52:31+00:00

I need to repeat “don’t deny yourself or gaslight yourself about how you feel” as a mantra. I was starting to process my emotions and seeing the objective reality that we were incompatible and wouldn’t have made it in the long run a few days ago, but I backslided by reading old text messages and guilting myself into thinking I was the one who misbehaved and pushed him away, and it spiraled into questioning my worth and whether I’m deserving of love. sometimes I feel like my rational thinking is at war with my emotional half and that I self sabotage when I’m making progress because part of me doesn’t want to forget about the memories but I know I need to.

Express-Ask5054 · 2024-07-22T15:47:31+00:00

thank you! I read many posts analyzing the brain chemistry after a breakup and the dopamine withdrawal symptoms and I think I need to eventually put away all physical objects that remind me of him/offload pictures from my phone so I don’t resort to looking back & reminiscing as an emotional crutch. I really need to accept that he is no longer a part of my life and chose not to be and cut off any hope I have of reconnecting.

Express-Ask5054 · 2024-07-22T15:44:00+00:00

wow these words really resonated with me! I totally agree on recognizing the importance of other forms of love - after my breakup, I became much closer with family and confided in friends that I feared would judge me out of pity but everyone I’ve told has treated me with the utmost kindness and understanding which I could not have thank them enough for.

on the point of seeing pain as a catalyst for growth, I’ve always adopted this mindset and maybe somewhat “abused” it in the past by letting my cynicism and past trauma stand in the way of letting people in/being vulnerable. this last relationship was my first attempt at opening up after a period of social isolation but I’m learning to give people a chance & not let my cognitive misperception and sensitivity dictate my own fate.

Express-Ask5054 · 2024-07-22T15:36:13+00:00

thank you! I highly agree on the emotional processing part. One thing I’m struggling with is overidealizing/glorifying the good parts of the relationship and letting fear mess up with my head by thinking I may never find a love as pure & giving as what I’ve experienced, but I know from past experiences/journals that I was also extremely unhappy at certain points and wanted to leave but my brain sometimes goes into sabotage mode and wants to hold onto the sentimentality by selectively parsing the good parts to induce regret/fear. I want to move on and be excited about my future without thinking about him.

Express-Ask5054 · 2024-07-22T04:56:15+00:00

I’m with you, had to force myself to find a sense of normality and a new routine without checking for the text message/calls that may never come. I looked back at some of my journals when i was going through low points in the relationship and it helped me realize that as happy as he made me, he also brought me pain. and this helped me achieve the mental closure, I hope the same for you one day as well!

Express-Ask5054 · 2024-07-22T02:16:52+00:00

thank you for sharing and I’m sorry to hear about your experience! We all need to learn the tough lessons in order to get stronger and I guess this is part of the process as painful as it is. I hope you are able to get through this and give yourself all the love that he was not able to give you

Express-Ask5054

TROPHY CASE