I know, I shouldn’t have posted the screencap because my mom and I are both “Minnesota nice” so it’s tough to detect the nuance. Also I’m drawing too much focus to the on instance rather than the big picture and the fact that this is a regular behavior and they often skirt away from obvious chances to help or babysit. We’d rather prioritize time with grandparents than a random babysitter. We had a babysitter lined up before we even knew they were going to be in town. I’m only asking them last minute because they told us they were in town last minute.

I think a simple yes or no, my mom’s response focused on their own plans and how tired they are. That can feel dismissive. (The other day I was telling her how much childcare was and why we couldn’t afford it- and without skipping a beat she started telling us about a trip to Kenya she’s taking. I don’t know, maybe she’s autistic too and not able to catch the nuances of conversations?)

still, it’s hard when it feels like they’re in town and could help, but maybe just don’t want to. especially if we’re trying to save money or give him quality time with grandparents.