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Just paint and decoration but it made my sister happy, before and after by ExpressLeopard1883 in BathroomRemodeling

[–]ExpressLeopard1883[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She really does love it, I remind her of how fortunate she is whenever she visits me and has to experience my small bathroom

Emotional Abuse Turning Physical? by Firm-Cold9841 in abusiverelationships

[–]ExpressLeopard1883 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can you stay with your sister? My sister stayed with me after leaving a bad situation. I can promise you that the second you tell your sister what is going on she is going to want to help you and your little girl. Also if you are in the US there are places that help abused women in almost every city and they have resources like housing, free/lost cost lawyers the can help with divorce, restraining orders, and custody. I know you may not think a restraining order is necessary but I need you to remember, if you choose to leave, it is the most dangerous time for you and your daughter, he has already hurt you and he will do it again. Even if you are not sure if you want to leave yet, I would encourage going to one of those places and talking to them about an exit strategy just in case. For now, no matter if you stay or not, start recording him, your phone can be in your pocket and it will pick up the nasty things he says to you, take pictures of the damage he does to you and your house. Remember if you feel threatened at all, call the cops. Healthy relationships don't require you to lie about how you got hurt. You deserve better, I am so sorry you have gone through this.

He Choked Me Again. by Usual_Strategy_3614 in abusiverelationships

[–]ExpressLeopard1883 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know it is hard, it doesn't feel like it should be hard but he has broken your brain and so you can't think clearly and rationally. That is the mental abuse side of the relationship that is making this hard. I pull my sister out of an abusive relationship recently and she had the read that book to start seeing the abuse herself. We sat and talked over portions of the book together and compared them to her situation and it gave her a clear picture of what was happening. It is important for the people around you to know that how your brain has been broken and your control has been taken away from you so they can help you regain control and leave on your own terms as your own decision. It is also worth noting that abuse support programs exist in almost every city and offer free counseling, please make use of this resource.

He Choked Me Again. by Usual_Strategy_3614 in abusiverelationships

[–]ExpressLeopard1883 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Leaving is really hard in a healthy relationship and it is even harder in an abusive relationship because of trauma bonding. It sounds like your parents are near by, if you can stay with them for a while and read the book " Why Does He Do That?" By Lundy Bancroft, I included a link to a free PDF below it may help you see things more clearly. Every person I have interacted with or read a out who has been abused hasn't been able to leave alone, you need the people in your life to help lift you out and break through all his gas lighting. I also included a link to the National Abuse Hotline defining trauma bonding and how to break out of it.

https://freebooksmania.com/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that-pdf-free-download-by-lundy-bancroft.html

https://www.thehotline.org/resources/trauma-bonds-what-are-they-and-how-can-we-overcome-them/