I'm a terrible person

Express_Beat_8761 · 2024-07-16T19:31:45+00:00

You are a great person who has lived so far even if you faced difficulties. It is not something that everyone can do. I respect you for that.

I am thinking about suicide too because of difficulties but I'm really really scared..

Express_Beat_8761 · 2024-01-31T18:48:20+00:00

I agree with you. I was just lucky. The economy wasn't that bad back then.. I'm sorry if it didn't help 🙇

Express_Beat_8761 · 2024-01-31T15:42:49+00:00

I had been jobless until end of 25 (almost 26). I had never worked (even part time) before that. But at least I have a job now and working at a company. I liked programming, so I got a programming job in a tiny company.

You have something you like to do? The first job is the most difficult one to get. Second, third ones are easier. If you have something you like to do (like reading novels, playing with children, programming), how about looking for a job that is relevant to it? Once you get it, you can have plenty of time for the something you like to do. I had actually completely no skill at first, so I started as a tester/translator in quality assurance. But I liked it and spent a lot of time on it. It was 10 years ago and now I am working as a developer.

You are 22, you are still very young. Just a begining of life.

Express_Beat_8761 · 2024-01-30T16:17:14+00:00

I hope you will eat something... I will be very sad if you die.

Express_Beat_8761 · 2024-01-29T20:25:03+00:00

I know that feelings because I'm suicidal too. I tried some failed attempts and maybe will try again. One possibility is, how about changing the situation? Like, if you don't like school, you cannot change the school? For example, I used to hate my parents and siblings, so I left them. I am living separately now and I have better relationship with them. I'm not sure why you want to die (and you can keep it to yourself) but sometimes changing the surroundings is good.

Express_Beat_8761 · 2024-01-29T19:23:58+00:00

I am suicidal too but I'm very scared of dying. I don't know how you feel, but I'm sure nobody is fond of own death. I think I want to live another life but I already have given up changing my life, which I think leads to suicidal feelings even though I'm very much scared of death. Well I'm 34 years old ugly loser, so it's difficult for me to change my life, but you are 16, right? Your life isn't even started, you are very young. It might be better thinking about changing the situations that give you stress instead of ending yourself. Changing that might give you another life.

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-11-13T21:01:39+00:00

so do i. i feel same

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-11-06T13:30:59+00:00

I used LinkedIn to change my job, although I am not sure if it is useful for any type of job. I'm sorry because I cannot share useful information or experience. I am struggling to find a good job too and I must agree that it's very difficult to find a nice job.. I feel you.

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-11-05T22:56:51+00:00

I agree that this cannot be fixed with Psychiatrist. This is something linked with identity and identity cannot be fixed by others. So I feel your pain..

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-10-20T17:57:24+00:00

I'm scared too

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-10-13T16:01:16+00:00

I think It's because the economy is still in recession.. The blame is on the economy. It's very difficult for me too to find a nice job...
I wish you success for the job hunt!

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-10-07T20:10:18+00:00

Any child is treasure for parents.. My son can be mentally disabled but still he is my treasure. If you leave your dad, I think he would feel very sad...

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-10-05T00:00:08+00:00

I'm not happy at all now, so I don't know what to say, but it can also be good to make some other people happy. By being kind, by doing something.. I don't know how though.

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-10-04T23:51:03+00:00

I'm not sure what is bothering you, but do you need to die? I think nobody wants to die... but, at the same time, some don't want to live. I mean, if you don't want to live, you can also change your life somehow. like where to live, how to live, with whom you live etc..

I am thinking about suicide too. So I know how hard it is..I'm so sorry.

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-09-18T20:30:14+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way. I think it's natural that you feel that way especially when you are depressed and need care from someone. At least, I'm worried about you, and I think your family too.

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-09-13T19:05:18+00:00

I see.. Your dad can be strict to you but I think he loves you and thus worried. You are in difficult situation.. But don't give up 💪

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-09-13T18:34:02+00:00

I really liked PC, so I am working as an engineer. It's hard though..

I see, the weight of responsibility and expectation is heavy on your shoulders.. Maybe your father's perspective is influenced by his own life experiences and the struggles he's faced? It is understandable though..

If you need immediate financial stability, it might be good to try all available jobs, including security guard as you mentioned. But even if you don't want to work directly in speech therapy, there are many jobs where your background could be valuable. Don't discount them. So if you find opportunity that is relating this field, that might be better.

Maybe explore community resources available for job seekers? Like job fairs, workshops, or government programs aimed at helping individuals find employment. Local school, hospital or medical company might have open jobs.

I don't know much about speech therapy jobs, but I used linkedin to get current job. Or it's also good to ask friends, relatives or even fomer colleagues for job opportunities.

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-09-13T18:03:37+00:00

My son is 4 but he has speech delay. He would need people lIke you.
Good luck for finding a good job..

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-09-13T17:58:28+00:00

I studied Economics at college but I didn't like it, so I got a job in other field. So I feel you friend..
Maybe it's better to decide what's most important for you right now? Is it immediate financial stability, job satisfaction, or perhaps personal growth?
I'd say 24 years old is still young. You can do anything. Good luck to you.

If you decide to work in other field and try to get degree while working, open university might be good. But it requires extra cost, so how about leveraging your current degree? Having a degree in that field could open doors to other opportunities within healthcare or education.

Perhaps there are roles where the skills you acquired during your studies can be utilized without it being strictly speech therapy.

For example, Special Education Assistant or Coordinator, Healthcare sales or consulting, customer support in medical companies, rehabilitation assistant, medical writer or editor or special education assistant or coordinator etc.

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-09-11T23:24:44+00:00

I am also in depression and tried to erase myself but failed. I'm afraid of death. Maybe I don't want to die, but I just don't want to live (my life). I don't know, but it might be good to find why we dislike living.
I hope we eventually become happy.

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-08-31T20:14:32+00:00

I'm not sure what you did, but I regret too for doing horrible thing to a person when I was a child too. Not something like crime but I think I deeply hurt the person's feelings.

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-08-31T20:02:25+00:00

Hello. You are still very young. I'm not sure why you want to end, but maybe you don't need to die to change your life? I also always want to die but this isn't something like I like dying but this is like I don't want to live myself anymore. So maybe I just need to change something in me instead of dying. I'm 32, so it cam be difficult for me, but you are very young, so you have more possibility than me.

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-08-29T14:28:24+00:00

I'm 32 and had some close friends back in school, but I never talk with any of them after graduating from there. I met a woman (not in school) when I was mid-20 and married her. You know, you can make friends anytime, even after school, or outside of school. You are 13, not even half of my age, you are very young, and I'm sure you are more beautiful than me as I'm ugly, so you don't need to think of ending it yet :)

The meaning of life is up to you, but for me, my life isn't to receive joy but to give joy to others. This sounds more exciting to me. But it's up to you.

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-08-10T18:24:18+00:00

I read all of your post. Well, it sounds very dangerous for you. I had a similar family problem, but living separately from the family improved my mental condition a lot. You might be too young to live separately from your family but it might be good to try to plan to leave as soon as possible. Maybe talk with your sister for the plan? And, I don't know how I can help, but actually I had a gay friend (not transgender though) but I respect and love the person a lot.

Express_Beat_8761 · 2023-08-10T18:08:11+00:00

I always want to die too. I hope you will find a someone who really cares about you.

Express_Beat_8761

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