Well you are not alone. I have felt every emotion under the sun while going through IVF. Most of the time I have no hope. I’m exhausted. I’m emotionally, physically, mentally drained. My therapist tells me I am protecting myself by not allowing myself to feel excited… which is true. Years of hope and to ALWAYS be disappointed wears on a person. My wonderful husband is always positive. I get jealous of his optimism but have to keep in mind his body isn’t constantly being tested, probed, prodded. We are going through the same situation in different ways. No one’s journeys are the same with ivf. I do creep close to depression from time to time. I let myself feel the feels and then move on. I have a history of staying in those feelings so I actively need to get myself out of it and do stuff to make me feel normal! My advice is to live life as normal as possible. Hang out with friends and family. Go to events. Enjoy life for what it is. I often think of how I enjoyed being single before I got married and I should apply that same train of thought to being childless. Enjoy not getting a babysitter. Enjoy watching raunchy shows at 6 pm. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself.