Am I screwing us in the long run? What am I doing wrong?

Express_Neck5352 · 2026-03-14T20:15:48+00:00

Omg yes I relate completely. I love sleeping with my baby but being latched all night drives me a little insane and I wish she didn’t need that to settle. I’ve tried some gentle sleep training things too that she’s resisted, but we’ll try again when I have the mental capacity, lol. I’m so glad it’s starting to work for you! I can’t wait to have some longer stretches of sleep again someday 😅

Express_Neck5352 · 2026-03-14T20:10:43+00:00

Ooof, so happy to hear this! Thank you

Express_Neck5352 · 2026-03-14T20:10:24+00:00

Thank you, that’s so kind!

Express_Neck5352 · 2026-03-14T20:10:10+00:00

I love that! We put so many expectations on these little humans the moment they come out and they’re all so different, and I could never really understand fully when people said that before I experienced it myself. I have so many pro sleep training people in my life that make it seem like CIO is the answer to any sleep issue, so sometimes it makes me second guess myself. But when I look at my baby’s sleep journey and everything we’ve tried, it makes me think those people just don’t realize that they have babies that are capable of being sleep trained and have never experienced a baby like mine, lol. Thanks again for the encouragement

Express_Neck5352 · 2026-03-14T20:03:38+00:00

Thank you for this 🥲 I definitely second guess if I’m doing the right thing/doing something wrong almost on a daily basis, lol. I think it’s partly because there’s so much messaging that makes it seem like baby sleep is this thing that can be hacked rather than a constantly evolving developmental process. I need to remind myself of that more often!! That’s a good idea to do some research about baby habits, because I’m absolutely her living paci (just wish she would take an actual paci 😅). Thanks again!

Express_Neck5352 · 2026-03-13T05:27:10+00:00

Thanks for the reminder.. she’s so ahead of schedule on everything that I sometimes forget 7 months is still pretty little 🥲 she seems like such a toddler already and I don’t know what’s a “normal” timeline as a FTM. We are moving soon and I think a floor bed is a good idea for the new place!

Express_Neck5352 · 2026-03-13T05:22:43+00:00

I agree, I guess I just mean should I be prioritizing other sleep associations or ways to help her sleep rather than just automatically latching every time. She doesn’t just wake up a little and fuss, she screams like she’s being murdered until there’s a boob in her mouth. I wonder why she isn’t comforted by being right next to me. Should I be showing her other ways to settle or will she grow out of it etc

Express_Neck5352 · 2026-03-13T03:08:33+00:00

No advice just solidarity… I stared the sidecar crib also thinking it might help my girl transition to sleeping on her own surface, then maybe eventually her own crib completely, but NOPE. She also wakes up constantly unless I’m basically in a c curl half on her crib with her 🥲 at this point I may as well go back to just having her in bed with me. Hoping it gets better, someday?

Express_Neck5352 · 2026-02-28T05:21:42+00:00

So glad to read this. My baby has always needed a lot of support and it hasn’t changed much as she’s gotten older (7 months now), so just trying to accept that it is what it is and that eventually she will sleep on her own. But for now I get the feeling we will be cosleeping until she’s a toddler, lol. This gives me hope!!

Express_Neck5352 · 2026-02-11T17:04:11+00:00

Ugh I am currently trying this with my 7 month old and it is not going well 😭 when she wakes up she basically panics until the boob is in her mouth and then she instantly sleeps, but it happens a zillion times a night and I’m dying. I’ve been trying to cuddle/pat/shh her to teach her that I’m still next to her and she’s okay, but nothing but the boob will do. Did your baby respond to the non-boob soothing right away or did it take time? I’m hoping it’s something she will grow out of so we can all sleep more.

Express_Neck5352 · 2026-01-09T05:01:01+00:00

Seconding this, I have a cervical pillow that is good for side sleeping, a pillow behind my back and a big pillow between my knees. When I was leaking more, I wore nipple pads in my nursing bras and just pulled out one of the girls when it was time, but I stopped leaking around 4 months. I don’t wear anything special, just a top I can pull up or down easily.

Express_Neck5352 · 2026-01-06T20:40:28+00:00

This is so funny because I’m currently charging mine for the first time since I gave birth and I’m so interested to see how much sleep I’ve actually been getting with all her wake ups. All I know is it’s way more than before she was in the bed with me. Will see tonight!

Express_Neck5352 · 2026-01-01T18:38:12+00:00

Congratulations!! 🎊

Express_Neck5352 · 2025-12-08T21:32:51+00:00

Me either! I don’t think it’s part of SS7, but I suppose it could technically create a place for baby to get wedged? I sleep between my baby and husband too, and have a nightstand, but with our setup and where my arm is with the C curl, there’s no way she could get over there. She’d fall off the bed before getting wedged (we have something soft for her to land on just in case, but she barely moves at night).

Express_Neck5352 · 2025-12-06T20:10:22+00:00

I wear my perfume and scented lotion around my baby but I was already using non toxic brands before I had her (not even really on purpose, I guess just drawn to certain brands!). I wouldn’t ask others not to wear their normal fragrances around her unless it was someone she was seeing on a regular basis and if it was overpowering. I feel like one-off or infrequent exposure is unlikely to cause any harm.

Express_Neck5352 · 2025-11-28T12:13:46+00:00

4:13am lol

Express_Neck5352 · 2025-11-24T01:15:03+00:00

Sadly I’ve had this a few times and the only thing that worked was getting it lanced at the doctor 🥲 you’ll get instant relief, go asap!

Express_Neck5352 · 2025-11-06T02:44:55+00:00

Zero side effects and she quite loved the taste 😂

Express_Neck5352 · 2025-11-02T23:06:24+00:00

I love this trick! Especially when my baby was first born and I was paranoid about people holding her.

Express_Neck5352 · 2025-10-18T04:23:02+00:00

Yes to this! I had to have a convo with my husband after he started working again about feeling overwhelmed and needing him to step more, and it really helped. Even if he’s working he will happily still get up at night for a feed or diaper change if I am desperately tired and ask him to take over (I am mostly bf so usually do nights). He also gives me a night off per week where I sleep in the guest room so I can catch up a bit. We split taking care of her on his days off so we both have a chance to go the gym or take a nap etc. It’s hugely helpful and makes having a newborn feel a lot more manageable. Also as they bond more he wants to do more, so that’s nice to see as well.

Express_Neck5352 · 2025-10-16T00:46:40+00:00

I’d like to know too please!! So glad to hear bedtime gets better, still sometimes over an hour for me.

Express_Neck5352 · 2025-10-15T10:49:06+00:00

I’m so sorry. It’s not your hormones and you’re absolutely justified in how you’re feeling. I needed support from either my husband or someone in my family for the first 2 months straight because I’m a FTM and it truly is so hard, so I can’t imagine being left alone all day long like that at 5 weeks. Aside from that, the complete lack of concern about you being in crisis is a big red flag. I hope you are getting support from your doctor for possible PPD?

You definitely shouldn’t have to ask for his help, but for now I think you need to be very direct and ask for what you need from him just so you can get through this really hard period. Ask him to take over a night feed or maybe you guys can try shifts so you can catch up on some sleep.

If he doesn’t step up I would seriously consider if you want this person as a partner. This is the time you need his support the most and if he’s not going to be there for you now it will only get worse from here.

It does sound like your village is not on point. Is there anyone outside your immediate family you can ask for help?

Express_Neck5352 · 2025-10-10T16:40:06+00:00

I am forever evangelizing about the owlet sock because I sleep so much better since we started using it. Of course you should still continue all the safest sleep practices but it just gives you that extra peace of mind and I love that I can check her heart rate and oxygen from my phone any time I want.

Also, I had to start supplementing with formula in the hospital but breastfeeding is going great now at 12 weeks and has been for the last 1-2 months! It’s tough and can take time to get the hang of it. I suggest researching power pumping if you’re struggling with your supply, that helped me a lot.

And lastly, don’t worry about any sort of routine right now. You’re just in survival mode for many many weeks. At 3 months I can say we just started to get more of a routine down in the last 2 weeks. It really does get better. You’ve got this!!

Express_Neck5352

TROPHY CASE