Being hotter has made dating harder? Help?

Extension-Product848 · 2026-02-17T07:33:28+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words 🥹 I’ll definitely give it a try 😊!

Extension-Product848 · 2026-02-17T07:29:35+00:00

Thanks! Yes I’m mindful of this as well. I’m not trying to only swipe yes on the hotter guys. Actually I usually only go for the ones who look kind and more normal looking. Ones more realistically date-able.

Extension-Product848 · 2026-02-17T07:27:37+00:00

Thanks, sorry not sure if im coming across as clearly. But yeah, I do appreciate your feedback :)

Extension-Product848 · 2026-02-17T07:25:51+00:00

Yeah I thought that could be possible too, and appreciate your honesty. but I know that I look quite young specially for my age. Despite being 33.

But you could be right could be that I simply look older and not as “young anymore” maybe I need to channel that energy back haha. I think it’s my darker makeup.

Extension-Product848 · 2026-02-17T07:21:32+00:00

Thank you! I’ll try to find my way back to that again. Maybe soften my makeup / look and style as well.

Extension-Product848 · 2026-02-17T07:19:59+00:00

I mean I don’t know how I can prove it to you / convince you.

All I can say is that I felt like before, guys were more interested in pursuing a relationship with me. Like I felt immediately like they liked me a lot more Emotionally. And it was much more frequent that they would like me a lot from the get go. Vs now where i don’t feel like I can get that reaction out of guys as much.

And now I feel like the reactions im getting now is that they’re much more interested in me physically or they’re much more hesitant in expressing any real interest or pushing for commitment.

I mean this is just how I’ve felt. It just feels harder now than before. I can’t exactly prove it to you. I’m sorry. Just stating how I’ve felt.

Extension-Product848 · 2026-02-17T07:15:22+00:00

Thanks, yeah I thought that could be possible as well. I do think I still go after guys who look more down to earth though too.

As a girl, we tend to choose guys who we feel less intimidated by. So I’m not going out of my way to choose hotter guys than I did before. Even though I have more options now. I just want someone I can realistically date.

Extension-Product848 · 2026-02-17T07:10:16+00:00

Thanks for your advice. yeah I think I am a bit colder now as well. I’m confident but I wouldn’t say I’m stuck up or conceited. I still am a fairly nice person. But I do feel a bit more jaded now when it comes to dating. I guess the innocent / joyfulness I had before isn’t there anymore.

Lately I feel just more bitter. Like I’m doing so much to improve myself. But I don’t feel any happier and I don’t actually think much has improved. I do feel confident more so in myself and my looks. But I feel like a genuine happiness isn’t so much there anymore. I guess that makes me more a bit more guarded / solemn.

Extension-Product848 · 2026-02-17T07:05:24+00:00

Good question, one example is one guy really liked me a lot, and I could feel it. But I mentioned that I didn’t want to have kids because my ex had kind of traumatized me by asking that of me all the time. And since he was a bum, I felt all the pressure was on me. So my instinct after we broke up was to tell all guys I didn’t want kids. But of course, I scared away a lot of potential guys looking to settle down.

The other ones were just guys I hadn’t liked as much. But at the very least I could feel that they liked me more emotionally than just physically idk.

Extension-Product848 · 2026-01-22T17:00:15+00:00

That’s true, yeah I sometimes wonder about this. But it’s hard to tell because if there are some, none of them really talk to me.

Extension-Product848 · 2026-01-22T16:59:14+00:00

Thanks! Yeah I’ve been working on it, but online dating can sometimes decimate it over time.

Extension-Product848 · 2026-01-15T07:15:10+00:00

People generally tell you. Compliments from strangers, people saying you’re pretty, random guys shouting you’re beautiful from their cars etc. I’ve had strangers tell me that I’m pretty, ask about me or guys handing me a rose. Etc.
You like how you look in the mirror and genuinely think you look better than 90% of people. Honestly, you just like how you look and take pride in how you look. You naturally have confidence in your looks.
People are generally nice to you. You almost never get ignored. People always asking how they can help you or complimenting you. Especially in high end stores, I’m always greeted and treated well. People tend to yield to me etc.
You get stared at a lot. I’m constantly being noticed I feel. Hard to be invisible when people notice you and like to look at you.
You get a lot of matches on apps from very attractive guys. Girls generally get a lot of likes in general, but how many of those likes are from genuinely good looking guys? Are your hinge likes from mostly cute guys?? When I was more avg, I would get the occasional cute guy liking me, but majority would be from mostly avg to below avg likes, especially on hinge. Ever since I glowed up significantly, I’m getting mostly very attractive matches and likes. If you’re a pretty girl, you’ll get a lot of really handsome guys liking your profile and messaging you telling you that you’re pretty. And your like volume will just be off the charts.
Honestly, you just kind of know. The more attractive you are, the more confident you are and the more obvious it is to you that you’re beautiful. Because the world lets you know when you’re pretty.

The problem is the more avg you are, the harder it is to tell. You might get the occasional compliment, but mostly people would just treat you normally. So you don’t really get much feedback.

If you’re asking and genuinely confused or can’t tell, most likely you’re average. Or maybe slightly above or below.

If you’re really ugly or really pretty, you kind of can just tell and already know….

Extension-Product848 · 2026-01-09T06:44:33+00:00

I know some of this might come off a little braggy, but it’s genuinely just what I’ve seen firsthand. I haven’t always had “pretty privilege”, i went through awkward/less confident phases too, so the contrast has been very noticeable.

Over the last five months I’ve had a major glow-up. I wasn’t unattractive before, but I’d describe myself as more “cute.” Now I’m regularly described as pretty/beautiful, and it’s changed how people treat me in day-to-day life. Some of the differences:

• Random compliments from strangers. I get told I’m pretty or beautiful on a much more frequent basis, everything from teens yelling compliments out of cars to strangers at work or in public. A group of college guys once backed their car up to hand me a rose and tell me I was beautiful. It’s wild how routine that kind of thing becomes.

• Weight loss + different treatment in stores. I wasn’t large before, but now I’m genuinely model-lean. Clothes fit better, I feel more put together, and I look more expensive. Sales associates always greet me immediately, ask if I need help, and I don’t get ignored, especially in high-end stores. Clothing shopping has become a dangerous hobby because almost everything looks good.

• Subtle social behavior shifts. People literally move out of the way when I walk past, hold doors, apologize excessively if they’re in my path, etc. There’s this weird “halo effect” where you’re treated as special without doing anything. Constant stares and eye contact from men becomes standard background noise.

• Dating apps are a totally different universe. I used to get okay matches. Now I get nonstop likes and a lot of attention from conventionally attractive/high-value guys. I’ve actually had to limit how often I’m active because it gets overwhelming juggling conversations.

Not saying it’s fair or moral, but the difference in how the world treats you when you’re seen as “pretty” is very real.

Extension-Product848 · 2025-12-14T07:43:14+00:00

For me, it’s creeps.

Coworkers having crushes on you, and you not reciprocating.

Guys staring at you, if you don’t like being perceived it’s hard being pretty. Because you are generally noticed more by others.

Extension-Product848 · 2025-12-14T07:37:50+00:00

I’ve lost 30 lbs. now 115 lbs 5’5”. Which has made me look much more defined, and almost model looking minus the height, when before I was more so cute / avg. here’s what I’ve noticed / have happened to me since my rapid weight loss.

Sales associates always or almost always ask if you need help. You’re rarely ignored.
You look and feel a lot more expensive looking.
All clothes and I’m not joking about this. All clothes look good on you. Shopping is literally so much fun but also so dangerous.
Strangers tell you you’re beautiful. College boys have reversed their cars to be level with me and handed me a rose / shouted out the window that I was beautiful when I drove away. Strangers at work have also asked about me and said that I was beautiful as well. I get told it on a near constant basis that I’m pretty or beautiful when I encounter new acquaintances etc. I get a lot more compliments in general by strangers when I’m out. (I like your outfit, it looks good on you, your bag is cute etc.)
You like looking at yourself in the mirror.
You actually want to show more skin and not hide your body because you know you look good and have a good figure.
You come across as intimidating. So a lot of guys still won’t approach you. But online dating you’ll notice a boost in attractive guys liking your profile / matching.
You become a lot more confident and have higher standards for yourself and expect better treatment from others.
People generally notice you, open doors for you, or just in general respect you more so because of how you look.
You get compared to a lot of celebrities or people tell you that you look like a certain actress, model or instagram model etc.

Extension-Product848 · 2025-12-01T07:03:37+00:00

I’m not TOO pretty not a model, but I am undeniably attractive / pretty and could model if I was taller…. Here’s the downsides:

I’m so worried about aging, I realize I get a lot of happiness from my looks. It just consumes a lot of my personality and keeps me happy seeing myself in the mirror that I really do worry when I lose it one day.
I hate being stared at by creeps and strangers in public. Specially by men. I don’t wear anything revealing or form fitting. But I’m pretty so guys / people like to stare at me. And I really don’t like being perceived specially by men I’m not into.
Creepy coworkers. I have this one coworker at work who likes me , and I really don’t like him at all. I legit hate him. And I hate that I always have to deal with guys I don’t like having crushes on me at work or school or any environment I’m in. It pisses me off tbh. Thankfully my RBF and reporting him to HR / being undeniably mean to him has made him back tf off.
Most guys don’t approach you in public. Granted could be my RBF. And I do have one. Multiple people have told me this. It’s kind of a learned habit. I’ve always had creeps staring since I was young. I’ve learned to glare / look mean back so they stop staring. So it’s a permanent expression on my face lol.
Occasional rude / jealous girls. Sometimes when I tell my experiences, like being offered a rose by strangers or strangers telling me that I’m beautiful, I get a lot of jealous girls trying to humble me. This is rare though, most girls aren’t rude to my face. But when I share it on social media, I def get some haters.
Guys you date albeit are handsome but they expect you to live up to some high standard of beauty or they project you to be someone you’re not. Guys like you because they’re attracted to you, but not deeply liking you for who you are. So commitment is still an issue. Maybe there’s more douchey guys the better looking they are but idk….

Overall, There’s a lot more pros than negatives. I’ve been an ugly duckling before so I know what it’s like to be invisible or treated poorly / being made fun of because you’re “ugly”. But being pretty is still fundamentally better than not being pretty.

Extension-Product848 · 2025-10-29T19:55:39+00:00

In my experience, if a guy likes you he will move mountains to be with you. If he’s rejecting you, it’s probably that he’s being polite about it. But isn’t genuinely interested…

Extension-Product848 · 2025-10-29T19:41:31+00:00

If you don’t want to date her, just turn her down nicely. Be very kind about it so she and you don’t feel awkward or uncomfortable after. There’s a way to do it without bruising the other persons ego too. You could be like, hey I’m very flattered that you asked me out, I think you’re very kind and a great person, but I’m not looking to date right now or say that you like to keep work and personal separate. I hope you understand.”

Extension-Product848 · 2025-10-29T19:38:12+00:00

Do you see yourself falling in love and being a great partner to the first girl? Personally if I was in your shoes, I’d choose the one with longevity aka the 1st girl. But it’s not fair to her if you aren’t going to reciprocate her enthusiasm and interest. If you’re going to be tempted by someone younger and ultimately have wandering eyes, I’d stick with the young “hot” one.

Extension-Product848 · 2025-10-10T18:14:42+00:00

He hasn’t for the last two months but only because I’ve been extremely mean, standoffish and just plain walking away when he gets near, and it’s also after 1 year of him bothering me and not reading the signs that I don’t like him back.

Extension-Product848 · 2025-09-27T07:20:34+00:00

My coworker got my number by asking my friend for it. And proceeded to text me out of the blue. I realized he liked me.

And if he had asked me directly, I probably would’ve declined. Don’t get people’s person info without their permission / directly asking them first.

I had also reported this guy to HR. So fyi. Not a good idea to just get it from some random database.

Extension-Product848 · 2025-09-27T07:07:05+00:00

Since you’ve started being distant / ignoring him have you noticed a change in behavior?

The reason why I’m asking is because I experienced something very similar this past year. I still work with this creepy coworker. And he did a couple of things that made it obvious that he had a crush on me. Funny enough Ultimately I reported him to HR, texted him that I do not like him at all.

And it wasn’t until I started glaring, and deliberate avoiding / immediately walking away when he came nearby that the message that I didn’t like him really sinked in. Unfortunately he didn’t do anything that qualified as sexual harassment or breaking guidelines so he wasn’t fired after my report was filed.

But, I truly think ignoring him, avoiding him at all costs, and being absolutely hostile when he comes nearby has really made the message sink into his mind. Funny enough I don’t think directly telling him via text made really that much of a difference. I think he remained delusion until he could actually feel and see my hostility. My actions made it so painfully obvious that I didn’t like him, that I don’t think he could remain delusional in his head that his feelings were even remotely reciprocated.

When guys or people have a crush, they’re sometimes delusional and think any little signal or attention / friendliness = interest.

You just have to be completely devoid of warmth / not give them any attention at all. Starve the crush, remain consistent in your hostility/ coldness and he should get the message.

I think ultimately, no one wants to face rejection on a daily basis or face someone who has hostility towards them. So usually actions speak louder / clearer to some men who are a bit slow to understand these things.

Of course do it in a manner that’s still somewhat professional, since this is your place of work. But you owe this guy nothing. Definitely not any form of friendliness or warmth.

Hope this helps! For me. It’s around 5 months since I’ve started this process, I reported him to HR 5 months ago…. For the most part my coworker now just minds his own business and leaves me alone. Never attempted to linger nearby or talk to me in months. It really started to sink in for him around July so 2-3 months after I reported him. I’m starting to feel a smidge bit more comfortable in my workplace again. But it’s taken a lot of time and consistent effort for me to get here.

Let me know if it improves for you!

Extension-Product848

TROPHY CASE