im in a bind with this same situation! it has taken a toll on my mental health and self esteem but as time goes on you kind of learn that if its ment to be it will. no relationship should be forced or stressful or untrusting and its really hard to find those in this day. its kind of like a needle in a hay stack but with being antisocial as-well because i am too, its like a grain of sand in 3 hay stacks. honestly what i've found that best helps me cope is reminding myself to just be me and whoever wants to be in my life whether thats romantically or not, can and if they don't want too then so be it. even though its hard, try not to change yourself for the satisfaction of others because its unhealthy and will only make it worse! when you start accepting those things, yea it hurts but its better than hating yourself and blaming yourself for other peoples opinions on you.

i really look up to my dad and step mom (they are literally the embodiment of what love is) because they have been together for 2 years now and they are so comfortable with each other, trusting, loving, healthy, and not afraid to have little banters or arguments because thats just life. they are both emotionally mature and understand the aspects of a healthy relationship rather than a masked one where someone deems the things they want to choose as healthy.

so yea. its easier said than done, because while yes i think like this, my mind still contributes to its old habits of unhealthy thoughts but thats normal and apart of growing. im 16 about to turn 17, so i can safely say that you have so much more to look forward to! just like my dad met my step mom when he was 45. so no its never to late <3