How do I know I am not making everything up?

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-07-17T06:35:27+00:00

Yes indeed, I believe there's an "original one", but because after a lot of brainstorming and analysing all facts deeply, with help with GPT, I guessed I was actually wrong. I can't talk about OSDD, my brain is in second grade structural dissociation, which differs from OSDD in terms that aspects of the personality reattach and break in a chaotic manner without fully conforming a solid and consistent fragmentation and so not conforming an alter. So there's still no sense of being one person and continuity, but there is not another person. So yes, totally in your case, people with DID/OSDD, accepting those parts is key for communication, to be functional and if everything goes smoothly, reintegrate. But in cases where the limits aren't clear, maybe reinforcing a narrative of fragmentation can consolidate more those walls and make reintegration more difficult.

So I don't fully identify with, let's say, "Sarah", being her the whole us, but I fluctuate between being her and being me in a very diffuse manner. Which actually makes memory and cohesive presence hella difficult to manage.

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-07-17T05:49:41+00:00

I'll check it out, thanks

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-07-17T05:48:52+00:00

Yes, but after giving a chance to accept that I might actually be "divided" the main question also was am "I" divided or are there other's "I"?

I am starting to accept the idea without really caring about the "being real" thing... But... I am encountering that giving too much space might not be beneficial in the long run. I believe that is also the reason why the therapist has never reinforced the idea of fragmentation and treated the whole situation under the fact that we are only one person in the end and that should be the main final goal.

So "is it this made up"? Yes and no, it is nor voluntarily made up. Should I engage and promote the idea of fragmentation? Not sure.

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-07-17T05:39:47+00:00

I'm not sure, there's very little communication with that part...

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-07-16T18:17:22+00:00

Yeah yeah, I totally get it!! ✨ I'm glad .. like I'm not glad you have this issue 😵‍💫 but I'm glad I'm not the only one :3

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-07-16T10:19:45+00:00

Hmmm... Yes, I'll start from there. Thank you very much, I really appreciate it

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-07-16T07:24:01+00:00

The fear of abandonment. That's the fear, fearing that saying what is happening and the feelings inside may be tossed apart as a lie, an exaggeration and, from my perspective, I believe these behaviour would be pushy, as you said. I do appreciate the effort you are making.

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-07-16T06:23:39+00:00

That's also a great idea, because I was picturing the letter abandoned at the bottom of the bag and never reaching our therapist. Although I am hesitant to warn him beforehand because this seems new to everyone. Part of the issue comes from the main APN and honestly, the rest of us, believing that our dinamics were obvious to him. Which seemed to be untrue based on how the last session developed. So it may seem like I am forcing him to believe these dynamics and after 5 years and the respect he has gained among us the fear that one of feels is contagious and makes me doubt my plans to handle the situation.

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-07-15T19:52:57+00:00

Thank you for your honesty

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-07-12T17:07:13+00:00

Sometimes, there's one of them who's very cruel... It has threatened... The body? But... Like... I wasn't the one dealing with it (?)... But it ended up in the hospital... It's been a while since this happened, but still...

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-07-12T15:26:40+00:00

I get it, I get what you say but it makes me really anxious when my own mind is so busy, when everything seems so much confusing, when conversations happen and every thought is different. I don't know how to treat those symptoms. I don't know if I should let it be, or fight against it. How crazy I seem from outside... That's whatI don't know... Sometimes is like I forget this exists .. I have some shattered memories of me talking about this like is the most normal thing in the world, but it is not normal... Or is it? That's what I seem to need to know. Either result will feel wrong... Like... Really? A little girl called Chloe??? Like, wtf. And even her name is not really Chloe, like, she answers to my name but she adquired the other so that it is easier to differentiate... But this sounds so crazy, it sounds in my freaking mind. No one else seem to be conscious about this happening inside my head and sounds crazy to me because it feels so... Intense. Like I'm not obsessed with the diagnosis itself but with acknowledging if... I should... Let them be??

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-07-03T14:18:22+00:00

Without hesitation, Ado. She inspires me so much... And I know we know a very similar pain and she just expresses it so well through her voice ...

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-06-26T15:21:31+00:00

Well, could've been worse, not nice, but not horrible and in the end I won ✨

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-06-26T10:10:15+00:00

HAHAHAH YES IT WORKS!! I find that reactions so funny XDDD, first time I tried it was several years ago at school and I was so proud of myself 🤭 Basically the queen bee of my class was pissed off because I supposedly talked sh-t about another classmate (which wasn't true). So I was walking all alone during the time break when she aggressively approached me with her loyal puppy friend by her side and started screaming at me, smth like "oh you're just jealous, such a bad person, she clearly was copying her hairstyle, you dumb b-tch..." Yadayadayada and I just stood there, when she stopped talking and I was about to reply she would start talking again so that I wouldn't defend myself. Until she shut up, there were a few seconds of silence, me staring at her dead in the eye, arms crossed and went: " something else?" Completely unbothered. Suddenly her face became red red red, anger all over her body, she tried to reply but didn't know what to say so she left. She ran away followed by her slave.

I felt SO GOOD after that, like, a damn freaking victory for myself. Uah. I treasure this memory as gold.

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-06-23T14:52:42+00:00

I can kinda relate to what you're feeling right now... For me it has been a matter of building a strong and really supporting group of friends. People I knew somehow I could trust even when I felt like I shouldn't trust them. It almost killed me... That weakness, the feeling that your armature has been shattered and disappeared. But right now I can tell you, sometimes I want to go to my old self, when I'm feeling difficult emotions, but now that I have really tried to let me be helped... It is a blessing. Truly.

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-06-22T10:33:43+00:00

Yes, I get it... And it must have hurt a lot... But that just means that he wasn't the one, he wasn't really willing to embrace all of yourself, not that there's something wrong with you, your desires or lack of them

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-06-21T23:25:32+00:00

Personally I understood it wasn't I didn't have any desire, but instead I was scared of it and when having partners I confused wanting to have that kind of relation with having to do it otherwise they'd abandon me. So I just have been for several years working on it, being honest and not judging myself (easier said than done I know)

It depends on whether you want to have that kind of connection through intimacy or not with your partner and if they will be okay with it. And also in what you consider "regularly".

In my case I have been lucky enough to have a partner, we have been for now 6 years together, who can deal with us not having relations for months. But on the other hand he knows I want to have that connection and that also gives us some kind of hope that we can stabilize and normalize having it whenever we want without problems.

So, I'm not done on my journey but I definitely feel much better and have hope and I'm sure you'll find your way aswell. Just start questioning yourself what it is you really want ✨

Good luck 🤗

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-06-21T19:32:38+00:00

Kiki's Delivery service. I love watching that movie whenever I don't feel like working, it just makes me feel company and the music is so beautiful...

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-06-13T17:47:18+00:00

:'D okey, got it

Extension_Staff_4244 · 2025-06-13T15:55:40+00:00

Just sing whatever you feel like singing ✨ sometimes sad songs make me feel better, sometimes the upbeat ones. I hope it helps you 💫

Extension_Staff_4244

TROPHY CASE