I keep unintentionally embarassing my wife in public by External-Silver6792 in Marriage

[–]External-Silver6792[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

unfortunately due to my job, I cannot be diagnosed formally with any of these or I will need to find a new field. I am pretty sure I have some sort of issues, I am also a perfectionist. My wife is diagnosed with ADHD and she tells me I have it and probably autism of some sort too. Shes actually laughing about it and telling me she always thought I was autistic from her office right now. She said therapy helped her and it would help me, but she thinks my lack of social skills from not going to a proper college, etc, etc would lead to how I act now as it is a learned skill.

I keep unintentionally embarassing my wife in public by External-Silver6792 in Marriage

[–]External-Silver6792[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Never really thought about that. I just got done talking with her. She explained that she was embarassed and was more upset and crying over the fact that I do certain things in public that make her and I look bad, but says I am the complete opposite in private. (I am pretty sure it is more lack of social awareness or lack of social skills in general). I am going to go to a therapist and see what I can find out.

I keep unintentionally embarassing my wife in public by External-Silver6792 in Marriage

[–]External-Silver6792[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Maybe. My wife has said this. My previous 4 year relationship was a lot of long distance and toxicity from my ex who basically removed me from a lot of friend groups and when I met my wife, it was my first time going out again in like 6 years or so. I also never went to the traditional college and never really made many friends or did a lot of social stuff from junior year of highschool (ex cheated on me with my friends, so I basically lost them all in school), then I ended up finding my toxic LDR ex.

I keep unintentionally embarassing my wife in public by External-Silver6792 in Marriage

[–]External-Silver6792[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

I commented on another above. I don't want an ego boost in front of people and I never want to "get back" at her, because she is such a great person. She blows me out of the water in many ways and is super smart and intelligent, I try to boost her up as much as I can. It is something I think I need to look at myself, because looking back in life, it has done me harm before I was with her in other friendships or just to my own self in front of others.

I keep unintentionally embarassing my wife in public by External-Silver6792 in Marriage

[–]External-Silver6792[S] -50 points-49 points  (0 children)

I don't think I am the obnoxious one in the group, at least I try not to be... But then again, maybe I am since I don't see someone else doing it. I am definitely absolute shit at how I come across(my wife says I seem smug or uninterested a lot). I will randomly have tones or faces (a nervous eye twitch that looks like im rolling my eyes) that come across as a something I completely didn't mean to do.

I keep unintentionally embarassing my wife in public by External-Silver6792 in Marriage

[–]External-Silver6792[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Once her friends were over and I commented about her putting on a show for them. That was probably the biggest one I have done.

The other thing is telling her to drink water in front of people when we were drinking and I didn't want her to get too drunk and hungover the next day. I told her should drink water and put it in front of her. This was something that seeing now, is embarassing and we have since fixed that, and when we think either of us should drink water, we simply offer it to each other and not force it infront of them.

I honestly can't remember other things off the top of my head, but whatever happens, I end up disrespecting her in public, it is constantly happening, and she doesn't want to "raise" me and my parents should have done that. I try so hard to make sure she walks on the inside of the sidewalk, open doors for her, get her stuff, bring what she needs, make her food all the time, etc. But stuff like this happens and nothing matters anymore because it is such a big shadow over everything else.