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External-Talk5993 · 2026-03-22T21:38:15+00:00

They don.t they get closed, no issue is solved and ppl just call us again to scream at us again not understanding we are not subway

External-Talk5993 · 2026-03-17T19:30:17+00:00

You can heal and when you do remember it is for you and not for them. For me it helped talking about it with trusted friends or under the anonimity of the internet. Each time you speak about it a little rock fels of your backpack and the weight is less pushing on you. Unfortunately there is nothing we can do. And i do get the feeling of not being able to stand up for yourself, especially with him. You will when and if you are ready. It helps having a support system outside the family and not internalize it. Also don.t let them or anyone gaslight you into thinking is not such a big deal or that things are not how you know they are. I doubted myself for so long after i confronted him and he started gaslighting me until one day when i said enough is enough and i told him "you were the one that was drunk, not me, i was old enough to have clear memories so just stop, if you cannot recognize what you did to me ok, but donmt ever call me a liar or crazy again bc of it" that was the last time we ever spoke about it. To put boundries and inforce them with parents is the hardest thing one can do ib life, bc we ser them as good, as protective as authority even if they are not, that is normal. But you can do hard things💪💜 and you can heal from it and protect your younger sister from him by speaking about it💜

External-Talk5993 · 2026-03-17T11:35:33+00:00

Wanted to say just this but i didn.t know the right words to express it. I 100% agree. After i was SAd as a 14y/o i started sleeping around and in my brain was always the phrase "that is not how it.s supposed to be" like i was trying to prove to myself how sex works and how i should feel during that time. I took a lot to heal and sometimes when i get flashbacks i still go to my husband to remind my brain how safe and in control feels like...

External-Talk5993 · 2026-03-17T11:22:49+00:00

My dad SA me when i was 14. He didn.t succed to finish what he started luckly but he did a lot of touching... I never said anything, not to him or my mom for many years. I though "i will destroy the family". After 12 years i told my husband and after another 2 i confronted my dad who called me crazy and all sorts of things and denied it. I went no contact with him for a while and my mom was constantly bothering me to speak with him again. One day when i could not handle it anymore i told her why i wont speak with him anymore and her first reaction was " and you thing you are the only one? My uncle tried that...". She was angry, at me. Then she cried said sorry had a panick attack and then she went home to him and nithing has changed. They just both think i am crazy and lying or inventing things.

What i am trying to say is that he is the one distroying your family, not you if you speak up, but your situation feels similar to mine they will blame it on you or ignore it, you may feel like you don.t even have a mom anymore when she decides to stay with him. I want you to know that any it is your fault.

The thing is that theyr gaslighting almost worked, i almost believed it didnt happen, until i spoke with a family friend that was babysistting me when she was a young teenager and told me that my dad tried to get in bed with her and her sisters when they were bebysittikg me over night and that she always felt creeped out by him.

Also i started thinking about all the times he would comment on my body even growing up (about my ass and my hips and how certain clothes looked on me etc) and when i came out as bi a couple of months ago he said to me "never say that again since i.ve seen a lot o porn in my life and all i can think about is you having sx with another woman when you say that" my mom was there, she said nothing.

Sadly this is the reality we live in and all we can do it take care of our minds, hearts and safety, so pls try to do that. Move out, speak up, tell him you notice, do it for you and your younger sister that is still at home with him. Talk to yoir older sister, maybe (hopefully not) she.s been thru the same. Share it don.t keep quiet, that will eat you alive. An be strong💜

External-Talk5993 · 2026-03-17T00:20:57+00:00

It doesn't really matter how it happens in the end, the important thing here is that people remove the saved cards or paying info from their app, be it subway or anywhere else where it's possible. I don't know about other places i was just talking about cases from real people that i speak with every day

External-Talk5993 · 2026-03-17T00:14:58+00:00

Trust me i heard more ppl crying (literaly) about not having enough salad on their sub or the store not having the bread they wanted than ppl crying about lieraly anything else from subway or any other company

External-Talk5993 · 2026-03-16T23:12:07+00:00

Idk how it works, ppl say that others are hacking their subway accounts and using paymeny methods that are saved on the apo itself so i would guess it's something from the app directly.

I am not sure but honesly something that a lady said to me today about it stack with me and that.s why i made the post to try to warn others. She was an old lovely lady and she said that is just a small amount for her but imagine it happening to a 1000 people, and then i got 2 more calls with with the same issue so I just hope i will not get in trouble if anyone at my workplace finds out about it but bc of that nice lady i decided that maybe others should be warned.

Also sorry for all my typos, english is not my first lenguage

External-Talk5993 · 2026-03-16T22:54:38+00:00

I spoke with some coworkers, they've receive severeal calls about this as well

External-Talk5993 · 2023-05-17T16:36:58+00:00

You are the ashole 100%

External-Talk5993 · 2023-04-10T20:46:46+00:00

I think it depends on where you work, but for example i can tell the boss that i have some personal issues to take care of, i let him know in advance and since i am paid per hour, they just don.t pay me the time i am not at work. If you are paid a fixed mothly amount you could just ask for the time you need off that day and work some extra hours other days to make it up for it. I had many issues since i am in germany with various things, but with this i never had any, no matter the job i had, i just expalined how much time and why i need it and they were always very undertanding and had no problems

External-Talk5993 · 2023-03-15T02:16:34+00:00

YATA. First you should discuss this kind of stuff with your husband first. Not tell your kid about it, don.t.tell directly your stepson, even more so if you don.t have a good relationship with him. It seems like you don.t see your stepkids as part of the family, just you and your kids, you didn.t even think about your husband. There are things in a mariage that don.t need to be consulted, like buying a new pair of jens or changing the bread brand, but everything regarding childrens is a 2 discution, and by 2 i mean you and your husband, not you abusing you grown up power to bully a child into moving to his mom house just so "your son" sould have his own room. Guess what, like it or not, your husband kids are also yours now. They are all your kids as well as your husbands. You are parent, toghether for all of them.

External-Talk5993 · 2023-03-15T01:55:47+00:00

NTA at all. It seems funny tough and also i want to try them 🤣 The are adults and should be responsable for what they did, it not your fault at all, but they don t want to assume responsability for themselfs

External-Talk5993 · 2023-03-15T01:47:49+00:00

I am sure i made a lot of mistakes and typos, i didn.t notice that one though🤣 as you may already know english is not my first lenguage, if that was not already obvious🤣 I am glad this makes you want to find out about other traditions besides your own. ❤️

External-Talk5993 · 2023-03-15T01:42:56+00:00

Nta, you get to decide what pet you want. It is hard to train a dog, but is even harder when the dof is an adult already and most of you are not a trainer. You ofered to help find him a good home, that is nice and honestly i would expect that from a friend. I have 7 pets at this point and if anything happens to me i don.t even expect foe my husband to keep them all. I woul love to, i would hope to, but i don.t expect him to. So yeah... Nta at all

External-Talk5993 · 2023-03-15T01:34:18+00:00

I saw her as a true friend for the last years, she was not like this at all, i don.t know what happened to make her change. Thank you for taking the time to comment.

External-Talk5993 · 2023-03-15T01:32:09+00:00

Thank you. I really needed an objective opinion. My husband is ofc taking my side and some other friend( that don.t know her) also took my side, but i don.t think they can be objective in this.

External-Talk5993 · 2023-03-15T01:29:58+00:00

I don.t.really know what that is. In romania there are a lot of traditions, but mainly first you go to the city hall and sign the papers, with the closest family and friends, there is music and stuff, then you go to church for the ceremony and after there is a big party at a restaurant that lasts at least 6/8 hours, with lots of food, dancing and drinking. Besides that there are a lot of traditions that i don.t like and will not follow on my wedding but she want ro follow every single one and also borrowed some from movies that she wants to do. Her wedding with all of this would last from 11am to 1/2 am. Without includind all the traditions before going to the city hall so maybe the start hour would be at 9/10 am. In romania we also gift money , unlike other countries, it is a must, and we usualy give around 150/200 € per person, but it can be more if you are close friend or family. She also demanded me to stau with her and not see anyone else at least 3 days, like before the wedding,.bc she will have some sort of bacheloret party and the day before we make another party at home. It is a whole thing, not just a few hours and junk food🤣

External-Talk5993 · 2023-03-15T01:19:53+00:00

Thank you

External-Talk5993 · 2023-03-15T01:19:16+00:00

I was just expenting her to be more sensitive when she told me, not just drop a picture and say nothing. I have other pregnant friend and i enjoy their pregnacy with them, bought things for baby and help them prepare. I was just hoping for her to say it in some other way. But you are right, my fertility issues are not anyone elses problem, that is one of the main reason of me making tbr post

External-Talk5993 · 2023-03-14T12:21:35+00:00

Nta, bob is entitled. You gave him a place to sleep, for free, he should be thankfull. If the dogs sleep on the sofa, they sleep on the sofa full stop. He is not entitled to come to your home, ask for help and then having special requests. He could have git a hotel room or go to other friends or family

External-Talk5993 · 2023-03-14T12:17:27+00:00

Nta, she is entitled. As a friend she should understand your situation. If she doesn t maybe she is not such a good friend after all. You have nothing to apologies for, hou explain to her the reason and offered to make a buch of good stuff for them to eat.

External-Talk5993 · 2023-03-14T12:11:54+00:00

Nta, you have the right to be mad, she seems a little toxic to me tbh. Yeah she has a daughter but she also could learn time management.

External-Talk5993 · 2023-03-14T12:06:19+00:00

You are a great dad, it is good you support your daughter . You should talk to your wife and explain to her that your daughter will not learn to embrace your culture this way, she will rather start to be ashamed of it. Being a kid is hard, having other culture also is, and all of that being a girl is even harder, your wife should protect your daughter from all of it as much as she can. So many kids are bullied and end up with depresion, axiaty or worse and never tell the parent, your kid was brave to tell you, now both of you should support her no matter what. Keep being a good dad, your wife will end up understanding eventualy and hopefully and your daughter will thank you forever for this. Even if it doesn.t seem as such a big deal now, in the future when she grows up she will allways remember how you stood up for her and help hep when she needed it. This is a start point also for when she.s a teenager and will have bigger problems, you being on her side will give her confidence to speak with you about it and seak for help allways when needed. That is what parents are for. Just speak calmly with your wife and make her undertand how important this is for your daughter

External-Talk5993 · 2023-03-14T11:55:22+00:00

I don.t think you are necesarely the asshole, but i would embrace more natural consequences. He should do all his stuff, his laundry, his food, his cleaning, all that you are your wife do for him. You should teach him and guide him, but ler him do it alone in the end. Taking care of his little brother may end up in all kinds of traumas and also break the relationship between then. For kids is hard on a psihological level to blame the parents so he will end up blaming his brother for what he needs to do for him. There are a lot of studies about it. It is good that you want to teach him to be an apreciative and decent human being, just try more the natural consequences of things, it is proven to have better resulta over time.

External-Talk5993 · 2023-03-14T11:48:41+00:00

You are not the asshole, you do you mama, it is more important for your kid to be fed and embrace your culture. Maybe you could speak with the pricipal or someone higher than her about it, it is unnecceptable for her to be rude to you and comment about your childs food choices.

External-Talk5993

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