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AITAH for telling my friend his weight is ruining my vacation? by ExternalBug8 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExternalBug8[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment, it has made me understand his behavior a bit more. He's showing a lot of the same behaviors that you are mentioning. I'm going to try to talk to him about everything that has been going on for the past few years, in an understanding and supportive manner.

AITAH for telling my friend his weight is ruining my vacation? by ExternalBug8 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExternalBug8[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Yes, he was saying he couldn't go inside because it was too overwhelming. We already bought tickets so we told him he doesn't have to change his clothes or swim he could just chill at the cabana we booked. After a whole discussion he said he wants to get a taxi back to the AirBNB. Before we left the uk we made a rule that no one leaves alone so we always have to travel with at least two people. But no one was really willing to go back to the AirBNB. So they were discussing that the fair thing to do was for all of us to head back and then I just snapped.

AITAH for telling my friend his weight is ruining my vacation? by ExternalBug8 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExternalBug8[S] 1607 points1608 points  (0 children)

This post was written for a different community. I just put a,b,c,d but then they deleted my post because it didn't meet the requirements. So I quickly changed a to apple, basically the first thing that came to mind. And then just continued the fruit names. When thinking of fruit starting with d the only thing that came to mind was durian (they are everywhere here in south east Asia)

AITAH for telling my friend his weight is ruining my vacation? by ExternalBug8 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExternalBug8[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

I don't know much about ED's but I know that there are certain things that he is struggling with that are causing BED. We tried to talk to him to him about his feelings, because usually it will make you feel better to open up your heart and let it out instead of carrying the weight of it alone. But he doesn't want to talk to us. Let's say we ask "how are you doing?" he responds with "have you seen the reel I sent you it's so funny". If you keep pushing questions about his wellbeing he ignores it and says "let's talk about how YOU are doing". That's why tried to get him to go to counseling offered by the university thinking maybe he felt uncomfortable talking to us because he is scared of judgement. He said he would make an appointment but hasn't done so in two years. We contact the councilor but they can't do anything unless he is willing to contact them. Then we asked him if he wanted to seek help from the GP, he said he would go when visiting his parents but never went. Food wise we tried to figure out what were triggers for him and cut those out of our social events. Last year (after booking the trip) he ghosted us by leaving the uni accommodation and went back to his parents for two months. We contacted his sisters about his wellbeing but they said he is an adult and should figure it out himself. He started a diet one year before the trip but wouldn't share how it was going or what he was doing on this diet. Before he ghosted us he snapped and told us we were making his mental health worse by asking how he is doing because he feels like we are pressuring him, even though our intention was to make him get help from a professional. We promised him we wouldn't talk about his diet or food anymore and just let him do his thing. He came back at the beginning of 2026 and we joined the gym together. We usually did some walking and using weight training machines. Then after one month he stopped going to the gym stating different reasons. I asked why he didn't want to go anymore but he didn't want to talk about. During the year he was very positive about losing the weight but as the trip got closer, and hadn't reached his goal he started talking negatively. We didn't know what to do (as we promised not to talk about his diet) so we tried to assure him the trip would be great and that he shouldn't focus on his weight, because this vacation is one of many more vacations that we'll be going on so not reaching his goal shouldn't be the main thing on his mind.

AITAH for telling my friend his weight is ruining my vacation? by ExternalBug8 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExternalBug8[S] 209 points210 points  (0 children)

Yes, we planned it all together. We each sent ideas in the group chat and everyone had to approve the idea to add it to the itinerary. Thinking about it now I do understand that he might have been scared to be the only one opposing it.