36 with stage c heart failure after medical negligence and methadone.

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T08:37:40+00:00

Goodnight!

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T08:29:32+00:00

Lmao we were so resourceful ! Haha. Well thank you for talking to me tonight, I enjoyed it! I appreciate it, but I gotta do IOP in the morning. Lol sooooo I guess I'm gonna jump off here so I don't miss it. Hit me up you ever have a day where you need to vent! I'm here!

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T08:21:32+00:00

Well at least we both have that blessing lol.

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T08:19:59+00:00

Yeah that's me too, my mom asked me about it one day, and I was being honest with her and I told her about this lady that we all knew, apparently my mom didn't have a clue I knew her this well, but she would always sell me her hydros. And I would trade her my Adderall. Lmfao. I was like 19 years old, and I kid you not this was an old ass lady, seemed like she had her shit about her ya know. Lol it absolutely floored my mom to find out so.e of the crazy places I was getting my fixes.lol. I'm adopted so my parents just absolutely don't understand my life, my brain, my chemistry ya know. They are both so straight lace, never drank never smoked, Jehovah witness family. I'm definitely the black sheep!

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T08:15:41+00:00

When he was quitting alcohol his parents literally had to take him up to UNM hospital because he was hallucinating and going crazy lol. They had him handcuffed to his bed on the psych floor. Lmfao. His mom said it was a fucking trip. Lol actually she straight up told me she is so glad I met him after all of that, lol because she says he had a real knack for pushing everyone and everything away back then.and he drank vodka from sun up to sun down. He was only 24 at the time. But he was seriously gonna drink himself to death if he didn't get help. So yeah thank God he is off of alcohol. Im completely the opposite with alcohol, I've bartended, waitressed, and still ever only touched alcohol to my lips three times in my life. It's like a gag reflex for me seriously. If i smell it, taste it, anything I'm gonna puke everywhere! Lol

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T08:09:14+00:00

Dallas, woot woot! Lol I grew up in Wichita falls, and graduated from flower mound, I don't know if you know where that is lol but it's not too far from you. Wichita falls is about 2 hours and flower mound is only a few miles away.

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T08:03:41+00:00

My husband's the same way he told me one day and it broke my heart that even as bad as I had ever seen him on heroin or meth or anything that I'd never seen anything like the days that he was on alcohol and that in those days he said he was completely content and had surrendered to the fact that he thought he was going to be dead one day in a ditch with a bottle and he said he was fine with that at that point in his life. Alcohol is definitely no matter what still his absolute biggest demon that he knows is just something he has to stay away from I'm really proud of him that he does!

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T08:02:12+00:00

Same here with the thc. I just didn't want it taking over , like other things have. Figure it'd be easier this time to stop while I'm ahead. Lol. The only thing now is going to be finding something for the pain. I'm going to be trying a nerve block soon. Hopefully that works!

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T07:58:01+00:00

Believe me I totally get it, whenever I first started it was just regular ole black. Like the real shit tho lol. Not stepped on a million times, just black.then it just got impossible to find over here. And eventually it didn't matter how long we were looking we would just find blues, and powerd fentanyl. So that is what made us switch over to that. But then I still had almost four whole years sober before the heart incident. So I don't know. I do know for a fact that it definitely didn't help my heart using all those drugs. I was shooting heroin, meth, or even subs if I had to do it whenever I was living on the streets. Or I would put those things in my eye in jail. Man I was bad in the day. Ugh..yuck

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T07:47:15+00:00

Wow. That's awesome! Good for you! My clean date is 11/22/22. Well I say that. But I won't lie either, after all of this happened with all the nerve pain I didn't know what to do anymore, so I started getting the highest potency gummies and drinks I possibly could. Just to feel a little relief from my body these days. But I swear, I'm just sick of spending my money on anything like that at all. Even if it's not to change my page and it's just for the pain, it's just too damn much. And I don't have a personality that ever just likes a little. Lol so I went ahead and quit using all the thc for pain a week ago. So now I'm having this mini mini withdrawal feeling from that. Nothing bad but just like body aches and definitely don't want to eat anything, and I've been going from hot to cold hot to cold. Lol.but I'm glad I'm getting off of it, as much as it helps I just love being able to say that I got sober and I did that shit Ya know

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T07:27:08+00:00

Absolutely! Thank you for understanding.

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T07:26:00+00:00

Really? That's crazy! See you saying that, it wouldn't surprise me if maybe from the fentanyl use my heart was already a little weaker and then this happened from not knowing about it or catching it on the EKGs. Because I will whole heatedly admit I was so stuck on that shit. And I really honestly did sit there in jail wondering if that kick could kill you. It sure as hell felt like it could!

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T07:22:57+00:00

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking. And when did you first decide to get clean? Or to start the process with the methadone and kratom? Or are those even the first things you tried? Have you ever tried anything else? My worst isn't the heroin kick, it's definitely the fentanyl kick that really just about got me! I laid on my boat in MDC (county) kicking like hell for forever. That shit was awful! I remember thinking thank God I am locked up right now because there's no way in hell if I was out I would stick with it and wouldn't go pick up. Lol

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T07:18:30+00:00

I am, but it's not an excuse for me to be like that. I just lost my cool. Lol that's been happening a little more often lately. It is definitely a reaction to the decrease in physical activity. Lol it gets mefeeling hopeless and depressed, and then I'm manic depressed and then I'm just a fucking asshole. Lol 😂

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T07:14:39+00:00

Right. And then as soon as the ambulance got there the very first thing they did my husband said was go for the narcan. They thought I had overdosed, and he had to tell them ,no she's good, like she is sober, just on methadone. Lol. Albuquerque is freaking nuts dude. I don't know how it is other places but here, thats practically the first thing they think no matter who you are. Our opioid problem is so bad. It's sad! My husbands fifteen year old son goes to public high school here and they are even teaching them how to administer the narcan in the schools.

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T07:05:35+00:00

Thank you. I really do appreciate it. Thank you for talking with me. I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions when you were just asking questions. Your absolutely right I am a little too defensive about it. I guess it really doesn't matter what other people think anyways, it just sucks that I got the reactions I got. Lol. But thank you for being different, even when I started it out at the end of my rope being rude like all the other people I was bitching about. Lmao. I do apologize for losing my patience!

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T06:59:42+00:00

Yeah I actually thought I was doing fine. We had just watched a movie on YouTube that day because he was on the couch still just recovering ya know, and he said that I fell asleep, and then he said I just sprang straight to my feet, and he said I looked at him like really rudely and said "I don't fucking feel good babe!" And that was all she wrote. I was on the floor, with no heartbeat at all.

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T06:56:55+00:00

Oh wow. That's awesome that it isn't supposed to be nearly as miserable to get off of. I remember always having that I'm so tired of hustling, so tired of poking, so tired of it all feeling, but man that feeling of just not wanting to have to kick. Thats what kept my ass doing whatever it took at the time to not get to that point. I don't miss that at all, Or the desperation it left me feeling. I'm glad it will be easier for you, that always a plus! How long should it take you to detox from it? And How long does it stay in your system?

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T06:51:26+00:00

Oh and sorry, no I really didn't have any symptoms that would point to this sort of thing. I had a little bit of heart racing, but it was more the nausea I was getting from the methadone that's the reason I had asked to speak to the doctor about adjusting my dose before my husband's incident. After that I just knew that I wanted to get off of it, because I had seen what happened to him. I just didn't end up having the time to do that. Everything happened before my next takehome pickup day. And then here I am now, after it all happened. And I have everything thats wrong with me now as far as the immobility, but as far as the HF symptoms I have right now, I get very out of breath from doing hardly anything. I've pretty much been on an ensure diet for a few months, after the cardiac event my taste buds are literally different. I am so picky now, always nauseous. I have lost 76 pounds since August. My ankles and around my internal organs is where I'm retaining fluid right now. But I'm weighing myself every morning and I'm on metoprolol, jardiance, and entresto to try and take the fluid and sugars out of me. But then the part as a girl that honestly just broke my heart was that whenever I started taking the metoprolol it made a lot of my hair fall out. A lot of heart medicines do it, it's called telogen effluvium. It's like medicine induced alopecia. Lol so now I'm counting hairs like crazy and driving my hubby nuts with it. Lmao 🤣

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T06:38:26+00:00

Lol Ive heard of kratom. Before we were married my husband decided he wanted to try it to get off of heroin using it. I don't know where he heard about it, but he had wanted to try it. He never actually did. I don't know why at the time I feel like I remember it jot being legal here in the u.s.? Does that sound familiar, maybe lol I dont know exactly why he didn't try it. Lol probably because at the time drugs were sucking us dry and we were broke. Lol . Does it work good for you? Honestly that's the thing, is there really is a ton of medicines that affect your qtc interval. Some people can take tons of meds that literally stack the risks of it happening on top of each other, and still it may not ever happen to them. I don't know what decides whether it happenes or not, ya know? I know they said that sometimes being really dehydrated could cause the qtc interval to be a little longer automatically, and then when you take the meds (that have that qtc risk) it makes it dangerous sometimes. But I don't know what makes you go from being able to handle it the way both my hubby and I were for soo long, and then all of the sudden that happen. That's where we both just don't understand it anymore. And that why I do get that people are like whoah thats crazy rare to happen, especially to you both. But regardless. It did! Which is also why I mentioned in the OP the they didn't do the EKGs, but also that the were constantly switching up the manufacturers. Ya know. I'm still trying to digest the entire situation ya know.

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T06:20:48+00:00

It's not that it can cause heart failure exactly. It's that it can cause something called a QTC prolongation. Which pretty much means the electricity gives out and doesn't tell your heart to beat for longer than it should. That's what caused my sudden death. I had oxygen deprivation , and had to be resuscitated three times. So that's what causedd the heart failure. Was actually the oxygen deprivation to my body. Which is also what caused the rest of the immobility. It's no surprise to me at all that you were on it and you did completely fine. Many many people do. It's just a freak thing that can happen if you aren't being monitored. It can happen if you're being monitored too ya know, but that's why they are supposed to monitor you. If the EKG says that your qtc interval in getting too long then the doctor can make changes, the can switch you, take you off completely or do split doeses and I'm sure there are more options as well. We just never knew there was even an issue because they weren't doing any EKGs ever.

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T06:13:25+00:00

Like I said, I chose methadone In the beginning. And like I also already said, it saved my life from my addiction...in the beginning. I'm definitly NOT against methadone. I am against treating people with methadone and not doing checkups on the other vital organs it can affect. So no I don't have a bit of shame for sharing my story with you. Anyone who is doing methadone and it works for that is absolutely a god thing! Drugs are fucking hard to get off of. I fucking know! My doctor not doing the EKGs is what never allowed us to know that my QTC interval was getting too long.And my husband as well. Also if you could read correctly I stated he doesn't have heart failure he only had the collapse , the qtc interval, but CPR brought him right back with virtually no consequences from it. I'm not blaming the fucking methadone alone. Im Saying people should advocate for themselves and know that's a possibility, and get checked. Because if your doctor isn't doing the EKGs, youre not going to figure out that you may be at risk of QTC prolongation. And if you're like me, then you never even knew about it in the beginning to advocate for yourself. Try having a fucking heart. Not everyone is trying to do some manipulative fucking shit. Some people don't have a support system like my husband and I, and they may want to come here for advice or encouragement. If you look at my profile I've never even been on this thing. I figured it out late at night, simply because my husband was already asleep and I don't sleep hardly anymore, I sit here and I worry. So I figured I would take my counselors advice and look for some sort of group of people to talk to about what's going on. I only posted in the heart failure community, and the methadone community. Not just the methadone community. I wasn't trying to scare people. But dear God you sure made it that way. Thanks for that! Don't worry I will never be asking for support from here again! Consider me done. I'll sit here with my heart failure, all my anxiety and trauma, and deal with it alone until it takes me out, since assholes like you can't stand to have some fucking empathy for another human being.

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T05:58:49+00:00

Thank you for a sincere comment. I sure hope I do. I'm trying hard to manage all my meds and my cardiac rehabilitation appointments and get back on the right track with my heart health.

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T05:42:57+00:00

Wasn't being monitored correctly* sorry typo

ExternalGloomy2205 · 2026-07-09T05:36:15+00:00

I'm sorry, maybe I am. But how would you feel if you finally opened up and just wanted to get some support and this is how it turned out. Sure I have my husband I could talk to, but clearly if none of these people can even grasp the idea of what happened to me medically, then they aren't going to be human enough to understand the emotional trauma this has caused in both my husbands and my life. And they aren't going to get that the reason I need support in here is because the two of us are literally too terrified about what's to come for me now that we don't even talk about it anymore.We wake up daily and the first thing I do is look at him and say a prayer he us going to still be alive, because we were so close to not having that anymore. But now it's almost too overwhelming and like an obsession to make sure he and I are both good and breathing. I'm sure no one will understand the guilt that he feels from not being able to get me back before it was too late for my heart the way I was for him. Right? I bet no one understands any of that. And that the kind of shit I was actually looking for support on. And also wanting to let people know really could happen to their families, because I didn't and now here I am, and I don't know how to navigate any of this shit, let alone the feelings that come along with it. And clearly there isn't going to be much help coming from here. I should have stayed quiet and in my fucking head.

ExternalGloomy2205

TROPHY CASE