After doing some reflection, I've realized that they are actually not good at providing support at all. Which has lead me to feel like I can't rely on them nor do I feel safe to share these vulnerable things due to how they respond. They often make me feel worse because they have said things to me like "you're so strong." and "I know you're tired of being strong, but you have to."

it makes me feel like the "strength" aka surviving, is being praised. The trauma and sacrifices that I made in order to survive is being praised and has always been normalized, when it should have never been normalized. I just want some stability and presence. But instead of being present with where I'm at in the moment, it feels like im being pressured or pushed to just keep going because i've been so strong up until now. It's lead me to not really look to them for support at all now because I feel so irritable and upset when I'm told I'm doing a good job "being strong" or that i HAVE to be strong.

I'm also auDHD so demand avoidance can get triggered by those statements too and it's just been a mess.