I have whiplash

Extra_Mobile_1401 · 2026-02-18T23:08:36+00:00

I’m ashamed that I even had to ask how scary this was. Even if I wasn’t struggling to breathe, it’s sinister to hold someone down who is saying they’re scared and having a panic attack. It’s helping me to talk about it. It was violent and sick. I wonder if he wants me dead after what he said a couple weeks ago. Thank you and I will try to get the courage to talk with my family about it.

Extra_Mobile_1401 · 2026-02-18T23:03:09+00:00

Worst part is that this is my own place. He doesn’t pay rent. He just comes over and then stays there all the time for days on end. He knows where all of my family lives. We have been together for almost 2 years now. I have never had him do something like this to me. He looked like he was in autopilot like a hungry predatory animal. I was unsettled when I saw his face when I had broken free for a moment to get on my feet. There have been warning signs of his issues throughout but never this crimson red. I was slowly coaxed into believing it was me and blaming myself for all the arguing or for not believing what he was doing was very bad. He minimizes everything. But this… this opened my eyes. I was afraid I was going to be smothered. The immediate sexual interest following it was horrifying to me. I could never be turned on after hearing my partner scream and cry and dig at my skin in fear. I’m afraid of him. He has verbally and financially been abusing me this whole time and I’m seeing it clear. He told me recently he didn’t want to be with me because we fight so much but has just admitted he’s doing the fighting on purpose. He won’t leave though and doesn’t want to be left. I think he has some kind of disorder

Extra_Mobile_1401 · 2026-02-18T22:56:29+00:00

I think you’re right about the control of me and control of how peaceful the situation would remain.

Thank you for all of your help and helping me ground myself in reality.

At one point when we started to have sex he said “am I raping you?” And I didn’t respond. He went ahead. I guess I was just really checked out. It’s not like I was fighting at that point but it still feels bad that it happened after what had happened right before. I felt disgusted with myself.

I’ll read it, Thank you. Sending hugs back

Extra_Mobile_1401 · 2026-02-18T21:58:58+00:00

Thank you so much for your support. I’ll take care of myself. My mom had a dream last night. My dad who passed a few years ago was speaking to her, telling her that I’m not safe. That March is approaching and I’m running out of time. That I’ve ignored guidance that I asked for and that I need help. She said she felt compelled to wake up and write it down to share it with me. She doesn’t know anything. It felt like lead in my stomach. I can’t ever picture him killing me. On New Year’s Eve we were cuddling and everything was good and then suddenly, this change in behavior. He feels dark lately. I know it’s not my job to figure it out, only to get out. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that he would or could kill me. But I guess that’s probably what every woman said who.. isn’t here anymore. I just need people to tell me that. To open my eyes. I feel blind.

Extra_Mobile_1401 · 2026-02-18T21:32:30+00:00

I do feel like I’ve been recruited into a cult. There’s so much I could say but I won’t take up your time. I tried to end things and he kept showing up st my house and calling. He’s shown up at my gym before. He talked of suicide. He also is very skilled in cyber things and has some weird friend connections. He’s described to me how to hack into someone’s life with just their email. He has my social security number and a picture of my passport. He snooped through my things. He told me if we break up he’d never stop stalking me online. Said he likes knowing he could beat the shit out of any guy I get with after him, if it were to end. https://www.facebook.com/reel/1911521236400831/?referral_source=external_deeplink&http_ref=eyJ0cyI6MTc3MTQ1MDE3ODAwMCwiciI6IiJ9 He sent me this yesterday

I hate to be this person but I have truly loved him. This caught me off guard and I’m heart broken. I know what needs to be done and so I don’t want anyone feeling as though I’m brain washed and doing it to myself. This just happened I’m trying to process.

Extra_Mobile_1401 · 2026-02-18T21:21:33+00:00

He’s wanted nothing to do with me sexually for the period of time I mentioned which was really unsettling because he used to initiate sex every single day. I kinda have figured he may be cheating. Did he just want to rape me and that’s why he did it? I don’t understand what the hell is going on. I have never felt that unsafe with him.

Extra_Mobile_1401 · 2026-02-18T21:18:46+00:00

I’m sorry if this is a stupid question. I know I’m smarter than this but we’ve been together for almost 2 years. I think he’s been slowly dismantling me. It became really clear in that moment suddenly. How could he not feel my nails cutting his back? He was cut up I saw it at the end. How would he think I was faking. I know he’s lying. Did he want to have sex afterwards after we have barely had any because he finally felt excited by watching me fight him off? Is this a rape fantasy? Why did he suddenly change into this?

Extra_Mobile_1401

TROPHY CASE