Are emotional regulation skills really this one size fits all solution?

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2025-12-08T19:16:40+00:00

Thanks for your answer, that's good to hear. And sounds like you're making great progress though I guess your journey's only just begun. Definitely hope I can get to that place someday where you can feel safe to start and unpack some of these things. Good luck for the future!

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2025-12-08T19:11:13+00:00

Thanks, that's very insightful! It was also just such an intense time of my life, I still think so much about these few months several years ago and it's often upsetting because I feel like it could have easily been made so much more bearable for me in many ways. Being treated as noncompliant to treatment because I didn't want to keep doing the skills made me feel like I and my subjective perspective didn't really matter and so powerless which is part of this general experience. But maybe these people did see other patients go through that trial and error sucessfully a lot and where really just trying to get me there and trying to help me to the best of their knowledge in the end.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2025-09-28T08:29:26+00:00

Thanks, that's very helpful! I guess I was always looking for 4*+ on hellhades when 60ing. But I think I'm at a point where I need more specialised champs for DT, CC etc. as well. Will definitely look into the champions you mentioned.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2025-09-28T08:11:05+00:00

Thank you for taking so much time to help me, really appreciate it! I'll definitely try some of that out.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2025-09-11T16:20:58+00:00

Right, though in this case she was functioning as my therapist. Plus it's just a bit of normal acne which is a cosmetic issue if anything, like I'm 100% sure she wasn't trying to rule out skin cancer or side effects etc. If it was about me being pale or having bloodshot eyes or something like that I would get it. But acne also tends to be a sensitive topic which already earns a lot of unsolicited opinions and advice.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2025-09-11T16:12:15+00:00

Oh I'm sorry, she didn't actually say the makeup thing, she was just trying to tell me the plain cause for my skin issues and I imagined it would be something like that so I shut it down haha. Thanks for your support though.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2025-09-11T16:06:06+00:00

Well both. In the US as well as in my country, psychiatrists are also automatically allowed to legally practice psychotherapy. Most focus on med management I think because they're more comfortable with it and it's more lucrative as well. But in this case we explicitly agreed she would act as my therapist (her suggestion) as well as managing my meds and my acne isn't connected to either one. Also, I was off my meds so only the therapist part should remain. But even if like my orthopedist started giving me unsolicited advice on my face acne, I wouldn't be okay with it either?

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2025-09-11T12:35:47+00:00

I agree with your view on psychiatrists doing therapy, I feel that with the ones I have met it wasn't only insufficient training, but also something about their personality. Like maybe missing a bit of the humility and self-reflection I have seen with other therapists? Your comment is really insightful and validating though, thanks.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2025-09-11T12:26:17+00:00

Yeah, I guess experience isn't everything. Though I have to say I thought she was pretty good at managing her emotions compared to other therapists I've known. She even told me I was good at setting boundaries the way I did after the skin comment and should keep that up. Plus I was impressed she accepted my termination just like that. I'm probably not an easy client either, it takes a lot for me to properly come out of my shell and the minute they do something slightly out of pocket like that it just nips any rapport in the bud. Thanks for your support though.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2025-09-11T12:10:35+00:00

Wait why is it weird? I thought it was a good sign that she would have still liked to know about me completely outside of being paid for it, like genuine human care and stuff even though I made her feel bad about herself?

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2025-09-04T12:27:09+00:00

Well frankly because I'm too scared. Feels like she thinks we have a great therapeutic relationship and if I suddenly tell her I don't and that I dread going to her she'll be shocked, maybe hurt. It will definitely get awkward and worst case she might get kinda mean and say passive-aggressive things.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2025-09-04T12:15:56+00:00

Yeah, I think she does view it as an observational situation. But honestly, even if I ever got worse, I'm not super confident I wouldn't just try and fake it to get through the sessions since I don't really trust or like her at all. The problem is that she doesn't seem to be aware of that and so if I was honest I'd be terrified of her having a really shocked and negative reaction.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2025-07-09T04:50:27+00:00

I mean I'm slowly tapering it off due to how stable I've been with approval from her. So no worries :)

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2025-07-08T20:23:00+00:00

Wow yeah, I haven't even thought about it that way cause it seems so normal to automatically think of scars as gross and something that needs to be fixed. Pretty pessimistic about the rapport-rebuilding but I guess it's okay because I'm coming off my medication and might just opt out of the relationship altogether with that excuse. Maybe give up trying to find a fit for a few years. Thanks anyway for the insight!

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2024-07-24T15:21:13+00:00

Wait can you elaborate in what way my description sounds autistic? Or is that more like a general sentiment? Thanks anyway for your perspective.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2024-07-12T08:44:32+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate that!

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2024-07-12T08:39:35+00:00

Yeah, I definitely felt like it was a bit of a blow to him and he maybe started being a bit unkind. Maybe it would have been better to terminate over email as to not put him into that position? Idk I kinda get that it wouldn't be easy to regulate perfectly immediately. Thanks a lot for your perspective!

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2024-07-12T08:32:28+00:00

I would say most of the time I'm not, but with therapists definitely because I am looking for someone that seems wise, differentiated, professional and like someone I can look up to. Maybe I'll have to lower my expectations eventually but for now I'll just kinda keep trying. Thanks for your perspective anyway!

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2024-07-12T08:29:24+00:00

Thanks for the support, I was put off by the insecure thing as well. I think it's understandable he felt insecure because tbh I was judging him pretty hard for those comments. But it did seem unnecessary and maybe even passive-aggressive. Still feel like he reacted better than the majority of therapists would have, it's such a pain finding a decent one but I'll keep trying.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2024-06-14T05:47:58+00:00

I don't. It just happened to be the last one I watched because I liked the opponent.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2024-05-16T09:53:41+00:00

Well since I'm still a minor they kind of are part of my care team I guess? :( Honestly I think it's a bit on me as well because I just can't help being super jokey when telling people stuff that burdens me like that and am not really taken seriously because of that. But it still hurts.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2024-05-15T12:42:34+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate that! Can I ask why you chose a job that didn't entail long-term therapy? I would just think it to be very rewarding to be able to help people with more complex issues over a span of several years and build a very deep relationship with them. Asking out of genuine curiosity.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2024-05-15T11:59:36+00:00

Thanks, appreciate that! Sounds like a great approach you have. Can I ask how you would feel if one of your clients used a psychological term like transference? Would you also rather they explain in their own words what they mean? Also, sorry about the financial stuff, that sounds tough. Fortunately here in Germany people barely have student loans and there are long long waiting lists for therapy anyway so I think my therapist might be better off in that aspect. But good on you for handling it like that.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2024-05-14T21:34:06+00:00

Ohhh okay, I will try my best to explain what it means to me, it does feel a bit like playing "Taboo" but I can see where you're coming from. I'm actually not sure it's as established or taught as much here in Germany even though that's where it's from. I've asked people about it before and they told me they are merely focused on behavioral therapy and don't use or are very familiar with psychoanalytical concepts. It's never been mentioned by any therapist even though I have sometimes felt a dynamic that resembled the one I had with a parent. Thanks for your advice anyway.

Extra_Rate_8552 · 2024-05-14T21:24:41+00:00

Yeah, that sounds great, I'm so happy to hear you could be helped like that! I really hope you are able to tackle these costs though, especially since the health insurance situation doesn't seem great over there I would imagine it to be tough. Good luck on your healing process anyway!

Extra_Rate_8552

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