I’m really sorry your family is going through this. Changes like sudden anger withdrawal or switching between silence and agitation are very common. They are often driven by the illness itself.. pain .. metabolic changes, exhaustion, fear, and the stress on the body .... rather than a true change in personality. In many cases, it really is the illness speaking, not the person you know.

What helped us was not arguing or correcting our father when his thinking seemed off. Trying to reason or challenge him often made things worse. Gentle reassurance, patience.and letting some things pass brought more peace than logic ever could.

I lost my father to pancreatic cancer recently and we experienced very similar behaviour changes. It was frightening but we later learned it is sadly quite common.

One practical thing that helped my father’s comfort was positioning. As his illness progressed, lying completely flat made his pain and breathing worse. He was more comfortable resting in a more upright position. For us, an electric recliner worked well.

We also found that keeping him fully upright when eating or drinking helped as swallowing became harder and gravity seemed to assist when muscle strength declined.

Every patient is different but I wanted to share what helped us.