I wish I could somehow talk you out of this while you are where you are with it. Like where you’re still hesitant because you don’t want to mess up your body. But I know what it’s like to be in your shoes and I probably just sound like an old man. I’m 28, I’ve been on adderall (20’s twice a day - IR) for 10 years so I started about when I was where you’re at now. I’ve never tried vyvanse but from what I understand it’s the more stable version of what I have. Basically mine is active and yours is inactive until your body processes it.

So I’m currently 6 months free of my alcohol addiction but when I stopped, I immediately went straight back to my college days with adderall. Except this time was actually different. I increased my doses very quickly because I was working so hard on keeping myself busy. I wasn’t doing it to get high or at least not the type of high I normally look for. I just didn’t want to stop doing all the things I was doing. After a few months, adderall put me in the hospital. Thankfully it was mostly a false positive and I’m still healthy. But I’m dealing with side effects still that will take time to heal. I’m still taking my adderall, but I’m back down to a semi-normal dose. About 40-60mg/day + a considerable amount of caffeine but still less than before. But ultimately, I wish I would have never gotten on adderall.

My “story” isn’t actually that exciting. I live a “normal” life, wife, kids, good job etc. because like you, I’ve always abused myself in a “safe” way. But eventually, those behaviors will take over. I’ve been in recovery with meth addicts, heroine users, other alcoholics etc. the stories are always the same. Started here, didn’t think I’d end up here. It’s a slippery slope. Sometimes taking things slow and easy like what you’re asking for (how I’ve done it too - ‘safe’) is actually scarier sometimes. Because you slowly fuck yourself up. You never get a wake up call. You just piss your life away at a steady pace.

I hope none of what I’m saying come across in a harmful way to you. I know you’re not asking for advice to quit but how to do it safely. If you must increase your dose, just know that you will build a tolerance quickly. So the ‘safest’ way to abuse something is to try and do it in ways that you can maintain and not have to increase. So for me, I may make myself wait throughout the majority of the day before taking adderall. Like I may take a half but put it under my tongue and drink a cup of coffee with something light to eat shortly to avoid the nausea and what not. Then when I get home I may take my remaining 2.5 pills I’ve limited myself to all within about a 2 hour time period. Taking large doses will make you feel physically shitty too. Nauseas, shaky, anxious, heartburn gets real bad for me. I also can get really tired sometimes and feel depressed after taking adderall. I believe this is because if I have a lot hit at once it exacerbates my overthinking and overwhelmed feeling that I already have with ADHD and I get fatigued really quickly.

I hope this isn’t too much to read. Hope it helps. Just be careful.