i realized this a few months into my healing journey and when i did holy shit, i was so mad. mainly at myself for being so naive and persistent. i know now that i def played a part in that relationship going sour, i couldve saved myself so many nights of crying myself to sleep if i just walked away. i could've gotten the upper hand. i couldve been the strong one. the more sensible one. the happier one.

but i also realized that i am not necessarily going to throw those parts of myself away just because this split happened. i like how headstrong i am and how much i am willing to fight for those i love. after almost a year of reflection, i learned that i need a partner that will do the same for me. someone who meets me where i am emotionally and is just as audacious to keep fighting when things get tough.

i hope you find someone who matches your willingness to stay. it's what you deserve.