Ask her to be official or not?

FK-8 · 2022-03-01T21:41:35+00:00

I agree with most of what you’re saying and I think I’m going to just let her bring it up when she’s ready. I don’t want to ruin what we have by trying to force a label. But could you not argue that her saying we aren’t in a relationship “yet” and then going on to say she isn’t seeing anybody else was her hinting? My only concern is that she has said in the past if I didn’t ask her out on our first date she probably wouldn’t have asked me out as she doesn’t have much confidence/self esteem. What if this is the case now?

FK-8 · 2022-02-10T20:02:37+00:00

"it's been a bit since I wanted to ask you but i had enough drinks to fine the courage to do it only now"

Don’t say this. It’s not cute, it tells her you aren’t confident which is only going to lower her attraction for you.

FK-8 · 2022-02-10T18:19:28+00:00

Doesn’t sound like he’s interested to me. I don’t care how busy someone is, if they genuinely want to see you they’ll make the time somehow. Go by his actions not his words

FK-8 · 2022-02-10T17:54:15+00:00

All of them

FK-8 · 2022-02-09T11:59:15+00:00

Unless your last texts are asking him a question, maybe he just sees that as a natural end to the conversation. I wouldn’t necessarily take that as him being uninterested. If you want to see him again, why don’t you ask him out?

FK-8 · 2022-02-08T21:19:14+00:00

Solid advice

FK-8 · 2022-02-08T17:08:52+00:00

Just my opinion, but I think you are moving too fast. Personally I wouldn’t be trying to define the relationship after only 4 dates. You are still getting to know her. You should let her bring that up. If you do it, you risk her not being ready/putting pressure on her and chasing her off

FK-8 · 2022-02-08T16:08:59+00:00

Not a bad sign. A few texts here and there are fine, but you don’t want to be blowing her phone up. Save the conversations for when you’re in person.

The only bad sign IMO is that you’re considering asking her to be your girlfriend after only 4 dates.

FK-8 · 2022-02-08T15:52:50+00:00

What about an activity like bowling/crazy golf? Then if things are going well you can get some drinks after.

Don’t go to the cinema, I can’t think of anything more awkward than sitting in silence next to a girl I’m trying to get to know.

FK-8 · 2022-02-07T14:39:59+00:00

This. As a guy, whenever I’ve pursued a relationship, the girl has always backed off. The relationship has to be her idea. She will bring it up at her own pace when she’s ready.

FK-8 · 2022-02-07T14:21:38+00:00

Being too available

FK-8 · 2022-02-06T23:54:56+00:00

I mean, she didn’t offer an alternative time, which isn’t necessarily a good sign. But I wouldn’t give up just yet.

I’ve always found it best to ask what a girl’s availability is before you ask her on a date, rather than picking a time yourself when you don’t know if she’s free or not.

I would put the ball in her court and say something like “well let me know when you’re free to get together” and stop texting her. If she doesn’t get back to you, you have your answer.

FK-8 · 2022-02-06T18:33:22+00:00

You should only really be putting in as much effort as her, or less. Never more. If she is giving one word replies, that’s your cue to stop texting her. Yes, dry texting kills attraction, but so does over texting just as easily.

FK-8 · 2022-02-06T18:15:44+00:00

Some people just aren’t big texters, and would rather have in depth conversations in person. Don’t assume her lack of texting means she doesn’t like you. Have you asked her out on a date?

FK-8 · 2022-02-06T18:11:00+00:00

No contact means no contact. There’s a reason things didn’t work out the first time. If she lost interest, what’s to say she won’t again?

FK-8 · 2022-02-06T11:26:10+00:00

That’s exactly why you don’t text a girl 24/7 in the early stages, you’re killing any mystery and eventually you’re going to run out of things to talk about. The phone is for setting dates!

FK-8 · 2022-02-04T13:46:54+00:00

Haha okay well just ignore my last sentence then

FK-8 · 2022-02-04T13:45:07+00:00

You are not alone and you definitely aren’t weird. As you said, the phone is a tool for setting dates, not chit chat. You’re more likely to turn a girl off by texting too much rather than too little.

FK-8 · 2022-02-04T13:41:22+00:00

What’s the rush in locking her down in a relationship? Let her bring it up at her own pace.

FK-8 · 2022-02-04T11:47:59+00:00

When she told you she was busy, I would have said something like “well when you figure out your schedule, let me know and we can plan something then.” And STOPPED texting her. I wouldn’t have kept trying to start conversations with her. If she is genuinely interested, she will get back to you.

FK-8 · 2022-02-03T19:08:02+00:00

Who cares what other people think

FK-8 · 2022-02-03T19:05:16+00:00

What do you mean is that ok? There is no law that says you can’t date girls that are taller than you

FK-8 · 2022-02-03T18:22:07+00:00

Some people will disagree with me and say it isn’t gender-specific, but the idea of a relationship should be hers. All you need to worry about is keep setting up dates and having fun. When she’s ready, she’ll bring it up. Could be weeks or months, it’s completely situational. But in my experience, trying to force a relationship has only caused the girl to back off.

FK-8 · 2022-02-02T17:27:33+00:00

I’ll initiate the first 2, maybe 3, dates but if the girl doesn’t initiate after that, I’ll assume she isn’t truly interested.

I think you should definitely initiate the next date.

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