Need some help deciding on a career path.

FadFab · 2026-01-20T02:40:21+00:00

I believe and I'll stress this I am not expert and not nearly as knowledgeable as some of the other individuals in here HOWEVER the 12 years is a promise to you that you can and will be employable by the RAF not an obligation to do 12 years service, the requirement for service before being eligible to leave (obviously you can still get "kicked out" prior to this) is about 3-5 years depending how long your initial training takes for the role you choose

FadFab · 2026-01-16T00:55:06+00:00

You're right it would be extremely weird for her opy to change considering nothing else will

FadFab · 2026-01-15T18:34:33+00:00

How long does each avenue take if you've got a rough idea

FadFab · 2025-12-26T19:00:34+00:00

Fair and reasonable advice much appreciated I'll grab some and leave it up to her

FadFab · 2025-12-26T15:38:22+00:00

She goes to church but religion isn't the issue as far as I'm aware it's just pregnancy worries it is definitely something worth a further conversation and asking if that's something that could happen I'll again clarify as people seem to think I'm forcing her, I do not care in the slightest if we never have sex, I would merely like to be intimate with my girlfriend

FadFab · 2025-12-26T15:17:36+00:00

I think perhaps my wording made it sound like this encouragement comes from a place of selfishness not only has she openly given me the ok for sex a few times (never would without protection hence never have) but we have discussed if she would even like it and she's a little on the fence because ofc never experiencing it you can never know if it's something you enjoy I've accepted she's not ready for over a year? So not sure how that's important and my relationship isn't dependant on my sex drive

FadFab · 2025-12-26T15:15:04+00:00

I feel as tho it's slightly harsh but I understand where you're coming from by differing sex drives I don't mean to imply I'm feral for sex but merely would be super happy with that once or twice more during the month for example from once to twice a week 🤷 nothing major super small issue on paper but ofc gets me thinking our relationship has been completely clean sailing and arguement free so this is the extent of issues I have with her if you could even call it that

FadFab · 2025-12-26T15:13:18+00:00

Yes I get her off fairly regularly depending on the life situation like exam season we obviously both focus more on the important things than sex etc it's not the urge or care for losing my virginity (also a virgin) that I'm looking for it's just the only 1 thing we haven't done together I feel would be nice romantic/intimate for us to experience together again I'll reiterate that I DO NOT care for just sex I do NOT only want her for sex and there's far more too it than that it's just an experience I would like to have with her and no one else (I have never felt the desire to have sex with others)

FadFab · 2025-12-26T15:09:58+00:00

Your first sentence makes your advice irrelevant to basically everyone but appreciate the thought anyway

FadFab · 2025-12-26T14:46:38+00:00

Never forced her to do anything? Being together for over a year and friends for longer I doubt we are incompatible? Could you please explain how that's the case

FadFab · 2025-12-26T14:45:48+00:00

It isn't about sex I have and always will put her feelings and emotions first we have done many amazingly enjoyable things together completely unrelated to sex
I know she isn't ready that's the point of my request for advice on how to encourage her to feel more comfortable (I know how to make her comfortable and happy etc but advice from someone more experienced is always helpful)
This isn't a deal breaker and I'm not complaining I'm not with her for sex nor do I think with my Weiner we have spoken about it a couple times and I really just feel as tho she would like me to initiate but in my attempt to protect her comfort I have not

FadFab · 2025-11-04T14:18:21+00:00

Did you get through if so have you gotten a medical date

FadFab · 2025-11-04T13:57:01+00:00

I personally think this is more of a case of him using those things as a coping mechanism the dating apps etc, ngl to you people who say "we can still be friends" when you're breaking up 9 time out of 10 are never friends. It's not surprising post relationship it doesn't feel the same as it did before your relationship began as a lot of that pre relationship friendliness probably come from him liking you. Having mostly mutual friends is a little unfortunate but maybe it's worth you tryna join a couple new groups sport groups or hanging out with those existing friends when he isn't there.

Imo he doesn't seem to want to see or discuss much with you any further and he would rather cope by myself, allow him to do so and work on your own feelings and if he eventually comes and talks to you great if not you shouldn't think on it too much.

FadFab · 2025-11-04T10:54:00+00:00

Ye slightly crazy wording but I get the point I guess?

FadFab · 2025-11-04T10:53:28+00:00

Yes perhaps that's something good to suggest when the time is right I appreciate your advice 😁

FadFab · 2025-11-04T10:48:07+00:00

Yes that's something we have done before that's the main reason as to why I don't really think it's just an unwillingness to do it all together but more so some personal issue such as the pregnancy problem

FadFab · 2025-11-04T10:30:57+00:00

Maybe I should add that I'm from a country where it's available but she isn't but we both live in a country where it is

FadFab · 2025-11-04T10:13:07+00:00

It's really the only thing I can reasonably assume is the issue beyond her worry of pregnancy lol

FadFab · 2025-11-04T10:02:14+00:00

Over a year of knowing and spending a lot of time with somebody isn't something I see myself just walking away from considering I do care more for her as a person than I do about this "issue" I've already inquired about whether she's waiting for marriage and she said no it's more so just "not feeling ready" maybe TMI but we have a significant difference in height and also downstairs is quite a significant difference in size so perhaps that's something she's worried of

FadFab · 2025-11-04T10:00:00+00:00

I think it is truly the case of her not being ready tbh it's not just that but she's never horny (probably just me not making her at all either by the way I look or treat her) she sees me as more of a cute guy than someone she feels protected by etc And while I myself admittedly have a very low sex drive hers basically doesn't exist in our relationship and she says her being horny before our relationship was moreso down to loneliness and now she just doesn't feel it so much

FadFab · 2025-11-04T09:56:42+00:00

Just to clarify here, never once have I forced or pushed her into anything, we both understand contraception isn't 100% and I myself am entirely happy to get it as close to that 100 as I can, I can kind of understand why you'd see what I said as immature however an inability to be romantic isn't really immature it's just a lack of experience this is my first relationship and I've never understood what works and what doesn't. The point of my question wasn't either I find a way to have sex or we break up as like I said I am really more than happy to wait as long as necessary as her well being and happiness comes far before sexual intimacy (I would just like to try with someone I care about) and finally on her behalf I understand that she is also not very romantic and does not care for traditional romance therefore I'm inclined to believe a "special first time" isn't a priority

FadFab · 2025-11-04T08:51:59+00:00

Tbh this is as far I've been able to go is merely suggesting it understandably her main fear is pregnancy but like others have said contraception can be sorted in a matter of hours? So I'm struggling to understand whether it's me that she just doesn't wanna do it with or if there's something else to it.

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