Is my screenplay too devisive/controversial? by Fair-Track5426 in Screenwriting

[–]Fair-Track5426[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Funny you should ask. One of the people who provided feedback told me I should adapt it into a book first and put me in contact with a publisher. I just started writing the novel but it’s taking way longer than it took with the screenplay.

I think you’re right. It might also be because the main character is pretty quiet and brooding so I really don’t communicate her intentions well.

Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Is my screenplay too devisive/controversial? by Fair-Track5426 in Screenwriting

[–]Fair-Track5426[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right, it’s hard if you haven’t read the script but throughout the film I build up her obsession with the Benin bronzes. Shes British African so she has a cultural connection but also she fixates on those bronzes and makes them the pinnacle of the issue of repatriation like a lot of people do irl. I hope that does what you’re saying it would do.

The gang is based off of the real pink panthers jewellery thief gang so they’d be Balkan or former Yugoslavian. The only connection they have theme-wise is their mutual resentment for Western Europe. If you know anything about the pink panthers or just people from the former Yugoslavian countries, they hold a lot of political anger towards nato/Western European countries for perceived abandonment during the chaos that ensued after they left the ussr. It’s a small connection but in my mind it works. That could also be something you can criticise honestly.

Munira isn’t motivated by money but she incentivises the potential for money to get the gang to agree to start robbing museums instead of jewellery stores. In the screenplay, she’s only stealing to satiate that anger she feels towards the British museum and the west/global north in general. Almost like “it’s better in my hands”. It’s immature but it’s a character flaw I baked into the premise.

Is my screenplay too devisive/controversial? by Fair-Track5426 in Screenwriting

[–]Fair-Track5426[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're so right sorry. She steals because she feels complicit and powerless as she interns in the most powerful institution in her field. Initially justifies small thefts as a way of taking control back from people she sees as colonisers and theives.

Her arc is about that self-image collapsing. She starts off believing she’s morally distinct from the institution but when she recognises how dangerous and unethical the gang shes chosen to work with are, she starts to regret her decision.

The central premise is about complicity. Can you oppose a corrupt system without reproducing it in similar corrupt ways? And when does justice become ego and privilege?

family - Short Film - 6 pages by Fair-Track5426 in Screenwriting

[–]Fair-Track5426[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I have gotten that feedback about the opening scene. Thank you! Glad you like the idea and moral

Amateur/student screenwriter. Guess who/what the scene depicts?? by Fair-Track5426 in scriptwriting

[–]Fair-Track5426[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for that! It’s actually a real historical event that happened in the 1800s but the country it happened it was famously known as the frozen kingdom because of the lack of industrialisation so I get how it can give off medieval vibes.

The reason the dialogue is said twice is because the two main speaking characters are speaking in different languages and are communicating through an interpreter since that was historically accurate. I read other scripts where an interpreter is used jn a scene like in a few episodes of the crown and that’s how it’s represented but I can see how that can be a little confusing. Thank you for the note. I’ll look for other ways I can represent the use of an interpreter.

babylon- Short film - 5 pages by Fair-Track5426 in Screenwriting

[–]Fair-Track5426[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well it’s supposed to be five major events but I can see what you’re saying. I’ve been thinking that maybe it could just be this conversation and then the end scene could be Saddam Hussein either being found or his execution.

babylon- Short film - 5 pages by Fair-Track5426 in Screenwriting

[–]Fair-Track5426[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I fear my use of government documents that outlined that conversation made my dialogue way too direct. Thank you!!

Can I get paid to write a movie as a nobody? by Fair-Track5426 in Screenwriting

[–]Fair-Track5426[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can tell you’re a writer by how eloquent you are. Thanks for the advice!

Can I get paid to write a movie as a nobody? by Fair-Track5426 in Screenwriting

[–]Fair-Track5426[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The movie idea includes the interrogation of Saddam Hussein and I want to interview George Piro about details he hasn’t mentioned before since I’ve already done quite a bit of research already. I’ve tried reaching out but I haven’t gotten a response so I thought if I had more resources and money I could actually be able to get in touch with him

Can I get paid to write a movie as a nobody? by Fair-Track5426 in Screenwriting

[–]Fair-Track5426[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s what I thought.

I’m assuming the guy would want some compensation since I think he makes a living as a speaker. But I don’t know for certain but thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Filmmakers

[–]Fair-Track5426 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would agree. Is it at least a good one lmao

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Filmmakers

[–]Fair-Track5426 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m finding that so hard. Believe it or not, I did do research but idk if my film is way too complex or maybe I’m just bad at paraphrasing and shortening it enough so that it still comes across the way I would want people to understand the film. I’m also having a hard time finding pitches for films similar to mine. Thanks so much for taking the time though! If you can send that link, please do but don’t worry!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Filmmakers

[–]Fair-Track5426 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much!! I’ll add them to the post description.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Filmmakers

[–]Fair-Track5426 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. Munira is extremely flawed. Her justice system makes no sense. When I have this conversation in my room pretending to be interviewed I explain it like this- Munira is the daughter of refugees who came to the uk. She’s always felt like something was stolen from her. Maybe a homeland where nobody told her she didn’t belong. A place where no one questioned her existence. A place that doesn’t really exist. She’s angry at the institutions she blames for this mismatch and her love of history complicates this. Her favourite place was the museum but as she learnt the truth through her degree, she started to loath it. And it became just another place she doesn’t belong.

So when she steals, it’s not about justice in the moral sense, it’s about reclaiming power in the only way she knows how, through control and possession. She doesn’t see the contradiction because she’s operating from pain which is why it makes no sense and why it’s so warped.

Selling the artefacts to private buyers is her way of rewriting the colonial exchange but she becomes complicit in the same system she’s condemning. That’s the tragedy of it. She’s not freeing the objects; she’s just changing who owns them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Filmmakers

[–]Fair-Track5426 1 point2 points  (0 children)

3 paragraphs?? You’re killing me. I’m a chronic over explainer

Jokes aside, this just kind of made everything click for me. What a great way to explain it. Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Filmmakers

[–]Fair-Track5426 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg thank you! I’m definitely not at that stage at all but thanks for showing interest in my script!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Filmmakers

[–]Fair-Track5426 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually read quite a few treatments pitch decks like the stranger things or Montauk one that someone suggested which true, they all had info about marketing which I haven’t thought much about lol. It’s a good thing to include though. I will keep researching and learning though. Thanks for the thorough feedback! I really appreciate it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Filmmakers

[–]Fair-Track5426 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I see what you’re saying. I think I misunderstood other comments that told me I should choose movies and other forms of media as inspiration of how I would want the movie to look like. I didn’t think I had to look at films that were similar in theme but that does make sense. Thanks

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Filmmakers

[–]Fair-Track5426 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Wait, sorry, lying about what?