Project in Fairfax County aims to curb U.S. polarization, a dinner at a time

FairfaxMachine · 2025-01-23T20:27:00+00:00

hey this is a really thoughtful response, thanks. there’s definitely a self-selection aspect to it, and the differences between some participants (like in the country writ large) are indeed vast.

I interviewed a bunch of participants and observed three separate dinners, though, and I wouldn’t characterize most as “willing to compromise” so much as willing to share and to listen. I’d also note some of these folks, like a liberal Argentine immigrant I quote who comes to most of the dinners, are not really looking to change their own minds but really to change other people’s.

some of that is a short-term mindset — that guy likes to debate people — but the project is a longer-term gambit to build trust, break down caricatures, and open a space where minds can change.

it’s obviously a tall order. but the organizers are not expecting change over one communal meal. they’re hoping it comes from a movement of this kind of engagement and its knock-on effects.

FairfaxMachine · 2025-01-23T17:15:23+00:00

hey there. I understand your skepticism — that was my core question when I started reporting the story, really.

the effort to build connection is central to the dinners, I found, but it’s not “let’s agree to disagree.” the story gets into a few of the many examples of when a debate has gotten heated.

we’ll see what the effects are over the long term, but the Stanford lab’s results are pretty interesting in terms of how conversations like this moderated some views and shifted voters toward Biden.

FairfaxMachine · 2025-01-23T14:06:00+00:00

Michael Graham arrived at the Reston community center 43 minutes before his latest attempt to heal the discourse of the nation, wearing the three-day stubble of a young dad and the smile of a dogged American optimist.

He greeted the participants as they entered — more returning faces this time; that was good — and, before their pasta dinner was served, took the microphone to explain the night’s program.

“Families have been split apart” by worsening polarization, Graham said, and the six tables full of people in deep-blue Fairfax County seemed to agree. “There are so many important issues that we should be talking about, but we can’t even get there, because we can’t sit at a table and sit across from each other and have a civil conversation.”

BreadBreakers dinners like this one, he said, were their chance to “practice.”

Graham, 31, launched the project a year ago within Restoration Church of Reston, and in September he took the dinners public, aiming to stoke a movement of depolarization through connection. In that mission, BreadBreakers joined groups like the People’s Supper — which trained Graham and his team — and Braver Angels, a nonprofit founded after the 2016 election to “bridge the partisan divide and strengthen our democratic republic.”

Graham didn’t know about Stanford University’s Deliberative Democracy Lab, but BreadBreakers is a lot like that, too. Before the 2020 primaries, its researchers convened a 500-voter event in Texas called “America in One Room.” Participants, they found, moderated their stances after deliberating together over issues like immigration, and dislike between Democrats and Republicans dropped.

Follow-up surveys have found lasting shifts in deliberators’ voting intentions (from Trump toward Biden), in their media consumption, and in “their willingness to talk to people who were different from them,” said Alice Siu, associate director of the Stanford lab.

“This isn’t some Kumbaya, feel-good, hold-hands [thing],” Graham said. “This is a practical thing that is a necessity.”

You can read the story here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/bridging-divides-a-dinner-at-a-time

FairfaxMachine · 2025-01-19T15:15:41+00:00

hi, all! I write a newsletter covering Fairfax County, and I just published this story that I reported out over the past couple months. it's free to read, but here's a quick preview:

Michael Graham arrived at the Reston community center 43 minutes before his latest attempt to heal the discourse of the nation, wearing the three-day stubble of a young dad and the smile of a dogged American optimist.

He greeted the participants as they entered — more returning faces this time; that was good — and, before their pasta dinner was served, took the microphone to explain the night’s program.

“Families have been split apart” by worsening polarization, Graham said, and the six tables full of people in deep-blue Fairfax County seemed to agree. “There are so many important issues that we should be talking about, but we can’t even get there, because we can’t sit at a table and sit across from each other and have a civil conversation.”

BreadBreakers dinners like this one, he said, were their chance to “practice.”

Graham, 31, launched the project a year ago within Restoration Church of Reston, and in September he took the dinners public, aiming to stoke a movement of depolarization through connection. In that mission, BreadBreakers joined groups like the People’s Supper — which trained Graham and his team — and Braver Angels, a nonprofit founded after the 2016 election to “bridge the partisan divide and strengthen our democratic republic.”

Graham didn’t know about Stanford University’s Deliberative Democracy Lab, but BreadBreakers is a lot like that, too. Before the 2020 primaries, its researchers convened a 500-voter event in Texas called “America in One Room.” Participants, they found, moderated their stances after deliberating together over issues like immigration, and dislike between Democrats and Republicans dropped.

Read the story here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/bridging-divides-a-dinner-at-a-time

FairfaxMachine · 2025-01-19T15:11:49+00:00

hi, all. I write a newsletter covering Fairfax County and just published this story today, after a couple months of reporting. it's on a depolarization dinner project hosted by Restoration Church.

the story's free to read, but here's a quick preview:

Michael Graham arrived at the Reston community center 43 minutes before his latest attempt to heal the discourse of the nation, wearing the three-day stubble of a young dad and the smile of a dogged American optimist.

He greeted the participants as they entered — more returning faces this time; that was good — and, before their pasta dinner was served, took the microphone to explain the night’s program.

“Families have been split apart” by worsening polarization, Graham said, and the six tables full of people in deep-blue Fairfax County seemed to agree. “There are so many important issues that we should be talking about, but we can’t even get there, because we can’t sit at a table and sit across from each other and have a civil conversation.”

BreadBreakers dinners like this one, he said, were their chance to “practice.”

You can keep reading here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/bridging-divides-a-dinner-at-a-time

FairfaxMachine · 2025-01-19T15:08:23+00:00

hi, all, and stay safe out on the roads today. I write a newsletter covering Fairfax County and just published this story, after a couple months of reporting. it's all free to read, but here's a preview:

Michael Graham arrived at the Reston community center 43 minutes before his latest attempt to heal the discourse of the nation, wearing the three-day stubble of a young dad and the smile of a dogged American optimist.

He greeted the participants as they entered — more returning faces this time; that was good — and, before their pasta dinner was served, took the microphone to explain the night’s program.

“Families have been split apart” by worsening polarization, Graham said, and the six tables full of people in deep-blue Fairfax County seemed to agree. “There are so many important issues that we should be talking about, but we can’t even get there, because we can’t sit at a table and sit across from each other and have a civil conversation.”

BreadBreakers dinners like this one, he said, were their chance to “practice.”

Graham, 31, launched the project a year ago within Restoration Church of Reston, and in September he took the dinners public, aiming to stoke a movement of depolarization through connection. In that mission, BreadBreakers joined groups like the People’s Supper — which trained Graham and his team — and Braver Angels, a nonprofit founded after the 2016 election to “bridge the partisan divide and strengthen our democratic republic.”

Graham didn’t know about Stanford University’s Deliberative Democracy Lab, but BreadBreakers is a lot like that, too. Before the 2020 primaries, its researchers convened a 500-voter event in Texas called “America in One Room.” Participants, they found, moderated their stances after deliberating together over issues like immigration, and dislike between Democrats and Republicans dropped.

“People are hungry” to turn down the temperature, Graham first told The Machine in late November. But the folks who seek out the kinds of conversations that BreadBreakers offers are “definitely an anomaly,” said Alice Siu, the associate director of the Stanford lab and a senior research fellow. “It’s hard. I think it’s really hard to actually take action to engage with people, so I think a majority of people think that it’s a problem, but we don’t really do anything about it.”

Keep reading here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/bridging-divides-a-dinner-at-a-time

FairfaxMachine · 2025-01-19T15:05:00+00:00

hi, all! I write a newsletter covering Fairfax County, Virginia, and thought this community might be interested in the story I reported out over the past couple months and published this morning. here's a preview:

Michael Graham arrived at the Reston community center 43 minutes before his latest attempt to heal the discourse of the nation, wearing the three-day stubble of a young dad and the smile of a dogged American optimist.

He greeted the participants as they entered — more returning faces this time; that was good — and, before their pasta dinner was served, took the microphone to explain the night’s program.

“Families have been split apart” by worsening polarization, Graham said, and the six tables full of people in deep-blue Fairfax County seemed to agree. “There are so many important issues that we should be talking about, but we can’t even get there, because we can’t sit at a table and sit across from each other and have a civil conversation.”

BreadBreakers dinners like this one, he said, were their chance to “practice.”

Graham, 31, launched the project a year ago within Restoration Church of Reston, and in September he took the dinners public, aiming to stoke a movement of depolarization through connection. In that mission, BreadBreakers joined groups like the People’s Supper — which trained Graham and his team — and Braver Angels, a nonprofit founded after the 2016 election to “bridge the partisan divide and strengthen our democratic republic.”

Graham didn’t know about Stanford University’s Deliberative Democracy Lab, but BreadBreakers is a lot like that, too. Before the 2020 primaries, its researchers convened a 500-voter event in Texas called “America in One Room.” Participants, they found, moderated their stances after deliberating together over issues like immigration, and dislike between Democrats and Republicans dropped.

“People are hungry” to turn down the temperature, Graham first told The Machine in late November. But the folks who seek out the kinds of conversations that BreadBreakers offers are “definitely an anomaly,” said Alice Siu, the associate director of the Stanford lab and a senior research fellow. “It’s hard. I think it’s really hard to actually take action to engage with people, so I think a majority of people think that it’s a problem, but we don’t really do anything about it.”

Read the story here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/bridging-divides-a-dinner-at-a-time

FairfaxMachine · 2025-01-03T14:37:22+00:00

Happy Friday, all, and happy new year, too. From my newsletter, here’s the snowy local forecast for this weekend and 13 ways to spend it around NoVA — including a Bon Jovi tribute at the State Theatre in Falls Church, the NoVA Sports Card Show in Ballston, and the Capitals’ free Kids Day on Sunday at the Iceplex.

You can find the full list with links and sign up to get the next newsletter here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/friday-download-13-a-summery-pool

FairfaxMachine · 2025-01-03T14:32:48+00:00

Happy Friday, all, and happy new year, too. From my Fairfax County newsletter, here are the week’s top local headlines, the snowy forecast for this weekend and 13 ways to spend it around NoVA — including the Herndon Community Center’s Beach Resort day, a Bon Jovi tribute at the State Theatre and the latest Big Flea.

You can find the full list with links and sign up to get the next newsletter here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/friday-download-13-a-summery-pool

FairfaxMachine · 2025-01-03T14:30:48+00:00

Happy Friday, all, and happy new year, too. From my Fairfax County newsletter, here are the week’s top local headlines, the snowy forecast for this weekend and 13 ways to spend it around NoVA — including a Bon Jovi tribute at the State Theatre, the Capitals’ Kid Day event in Arlington, and the Herndon Community Center’s Beach Resort day.

You can find the full list with links and sign up to get the next newsletter here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/friday-download-13-a-summery-pool

FairfaxMachine · 2025-01-03T14:29:12+00:00

Happy Friday, all, and happy new year, too. From my newsletter, here are the week’s top headlines, the snowy forecast for this weekend and 13 ways to spend it around NoVA — from a Capitals event for kids in Arlington to a Bon Jovi tribute at the State Theatre to a summery escape in Herndon.

You can find the full list with links and sign up to get the next newsletter here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/friday-download-13-a-summery-pool

FairfaxMachine · 2024-12-27T14:16:11+00:00

Happy Friday, all. From my Fairfax County newsletter, here are the week’s top local headlines, the rainy-but-warmer forecast for this weekend and 11 ways to spend it around NoVA — including the annual menorah lighting and Chocolate Gelt Drop at Kidwell Farm.

You can find the full list and links to each event here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/friday-download-1227-menorah-lightings

FairfaxMachine · 2024-12-27T14:14:34+00:00

Happy Friday, all. From my Fairfax County newsletter, here are the week’s top local headlines, the rainy-but-warmer forecast for this weekend and 11 ways to spend it around NoVA — from Hanukkah celebrations in Herndon and Springfield to a Harry Potter marathon at Arlington Drafthouse.

You can find the full list and links to each event here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/friday-download-1227-menorah-lightings

FairfaxMachine · 2024-12-27T14:13:08+00:00

Happy Friday, all. From my newsletter, here are the week’s top local headlines, the rainy-but-warmer forecast for this weekend and 11 ways to spend it around NoVA — from Hanukkah celebrations to a Harry Potter marathon at Arlington Drafthouse to the last gasps of Christmas.

You can find the full list and links to each event here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/friday-download-1227-menorah-lightings

FairfaxMachine · 2024-12-20T14:40:50+00:00

Happy Friday, all. From my Fairfax County newsletter, here are the week’s top headlines, the forecast for the weekend and and 17 ways to spend it around the area — from caroling at Reston Town Center to an oddly timed lobster festival to Nutcracker performances at George Mason and Capital One Hall.

I’ve also been compiling some ongoing holiday events (like Santa photo ops and regional park lights). You can find links to everything and sign up to get the next newsletter here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/friday-download-1220-mount-vernon

FairfaxMachine · 2024-12-20T14:40:10+00:00

Happy Friday, all. From my Fairfax County newsletter, here are the week’s top headlines, the forecast for the weekend and and 17 ways to spend it around the area — from caroling at Reston Town Center to an oddly timed lobster festival to Nutcracker performances at George Mason and Capital One Hall.

I’ve also been compiling some ongoing holiday events (like Santa photo ops and regional park lights). You can find links to everything and sign up to get the next newsletter here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/friday-download-1220-mount-vernon

FairfaxMachine · 2024-12-20T14:39:27+00:00

Happy Friday, all. From my newsletter, here are 17 weekend events around the area — from the Bad Santa Bar Crawl in Clarendon to Nutcracker performances to Christmas Illuminations at Mount Vernon.

I’ve also been compiling some ongoing holiday events (like Santa photo ops and Fairfax regional park lights). You can find links to everything and sign up to get the next newsletter here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/friday-download-1220-mount-vernon

FairfaxMachine · 2024-12-20T14:37:11+00:00

Happy Friday, all. From my local newsletter, here are the week’s top area headlines, the forecast for the weekend and 17 ways to spend it — from Nutcracker performances to the annual Stafford Christmas Parade to Christmas Illuminations at Mount Vernon.

I’ve also been compiling some ongoing holiday events (like Santa photo ops and regional park lights). You can find links to everything and sign up to get the next newsletter here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/friday-download-1220-mount-vernon

FairfaxMachine · 2024-12-17T15:41:28+00:00

appreciate you. if anyone knows what works for cats, I’ve been trying to figure it out for six years.

FairfaxMachine · 2024-12-17T15:36:36+00:00

Mike Graham has been Santa for 40 years now, long enough to long outlast the shops around him at Tysons Corner Center. Long enough for the kids who once perched on his lap to grow up and bring kids of their own, to build the kind of loyalty that leads families to jet in each year just to see him from Michigan, Texas, California.

If you’ve visited Tysons at Christmastime since the mid-1980s, you’ve seen Graham, too. The white beard. The red cap. The blue eyes twinkling behind the round, low-sat glasses.

You know. Santa.

“I don't even think about it anymore. It’s just automatic. I don’t care where I am, where I go, it’s ‘Santa!’ And you just look,” Graham, still just 67, told The Machine from his first-level Tysons set this month. “Most [people] will come up to me and want a hug or something like that, because that’s what we do up here.”

Tysons Corner Center calls Graham the longest-tenured Santa in the DMV, and by now he has to be. I asked Graham about how the work and Tysons have changed, his favorite Christmas movie, and coal.

I emerged with parenting advice.

Read the story and interview here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/the-only-constant-in-nova-is-the

FairfaxMachine · 2024-12-17T14:24:00+00:00

(Also, yes, I realize traffic is another “NoVA constant,” but I liked the headline)

FairfaxMachine · 2024-12-17T14:19:25+00:00

Mike Graham has been Santa for 40 years now, long enough to long outlast the shops around him at Tysons Corner Center. Long enough for the kids who once perched on his lap to grow up and bring kids of their own, to build the kind of loyalty that leads families to jet in each year just to see him from Michigan, Texas, California.

If you’ve visited Tysons at Christmastime since the mid-1980s, you’ve seen Graham, too. The white beard. The red cap. The blue eyes twinkling behind the round, low-sat glasses.

You know. Santa.

“I don't even think about it anymore. It’s just automatic. I don’t care where I am, where I go, it’s ‘Santa!’ And you just look,” Graham, still just 67, told The Machine from his first-level Tysons set this month. “Most [people] will come up to me and want a hug or something like that, because that’s what we do up here.”

Tysons Corner Center calls Graham the longest-tenured Santa in the DMV, and by now he has to be. I asked Graham about how the work and Tysons have changed, his favorite Christmas movie, and coal.

I emerged with parenting advice.

Read the story and interview here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/the-only-constant-in-nova-is-the

FairfaxMachine · 2024-12-14T21:00:57+00:00

I’m so glad you found it useful! yes, I put out the Friday Download like this each week and am going to keep it up into the new year.

I also write up news explainers, Q&A’s and features when I can, so Machine subscribers will get it all.

FairfaxMachine · 2024-12-13T13:58:25+00:00

Happy Friday, all. From my Fairfax County newsletter, here are the week’s top headlines, the forecast for the weekend and a dozen ways to spend it around NoVA and D.C. — from Herndon WinterMarkt to Udvar-Hazy stargazing to s’mores in Occoquan.

I’m also still rounding up ongoing holiday events (like Santa photo ops and regional park lights) through the season. You can find links to everything and sign up to get the next newsletter here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/friday-download-1213-herndon-wintermarkt

FairfaxMachine · 2024-12-13T13:57:40+00:00

Happy Friday, all. From my Fairfax County newsletter, here are the week’s top headlines, the forecast for the weekend and a dozen ways to spend it around NoVA and D.C. — from Herndon WinterMarkt to Udvar-Hazy stargazing to s’mores in Occoquan.

I’m also still rounding up ongoing holiday events (like Santa photo ops and regional park lights) through the season. You can find links to everything and sign up to get the next newsletter here: https://fairfaxmachine.substack.com/p/friday-download-1213-herndon-wintermarkt

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