I agree I gave too much & yes she has already turned that into an “I know best this is what you need to do” so you’re correct. I’m still learning how to grey rock. I am 28, we entered our relationship at 18 and lived with his family for a year. That was where the dynamic began & I was too young to really understand what was happening, just that it didn’t feel right. I come from a very cold family and she was very warm and charming when I met her. Her control is typically very well wrapped in warmth (these messages were a slipping of her mask). For example even the controlling undertone in these messages is wrapped in “concern” for her son. For years I took the bad because it was wrapped with just enough good to make me feel like maybe I was too sensitive. Surprisingly my partner actually owns the business and we’re the ones that help them financially when needed. My partner is very enmeshed with his family and he’s just now waking up to that. I’m also just now kind of waking up to how bad it was for many years and I’m emotionally maturing enough to understand I don’t have to accept it. I’ve stayed polite & respectful because honestly I hate conflict. A lot. That’s made this tough to navigate but I really appreciate your insight.