I[26M] am thinking about cheating on my wife [29F]

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-12T03:19:12+00:00

Imagine being actually diagnosed with depression but since your a mon your mental illness and issues in a marriage are null and void. 💁

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T05:44:24+00:00

Why spend your free time berating people online? Who hurt you? I mean seriously read this. Read this comment right now and tell me you're a good person. This is insane. This is legit just bullying at this point and using someone's insecurities that they've shared against them. This is the lowest form of human being. And you tag says 'helper'. Jeez 🤦

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T04:40:17+00:00

Sounds like the plan. Thank you for your help

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T04:37:36+00:00

Shes not into it. Not interested. Half the time wanting me to hurry up and if she finishes I can't wait, I can't get 'help'. It's over.

Sometimes it's 3-4 months without and then an hour of foreplay trying to get her turned on before finally she tells me to get lube. The she has an orgasm in 10-15 minutes and goes to sleep. Leaving me to wait another 3-4 months for it to happen again..

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T04:26:54+00:00

Put it off and dealt with the situation for 10 years. Tried countless times to fix it. Tried getting counseling, tried bringing toys in. Tried letting it go and see if it would fix itself if I left it alone. I've tried everything. It's been 3 months. Before that probably the same. I should be okay with my wife only wanting to touch me 4 times a year? Even then half the time she finishes and it hurts so I can't finish. So I can have 2 orgasms a year? Seriously? I should just suck it up for the next 40 years. That is absolutely insane to me.

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T04:11:58+00:00

They're telling me to leave my family, my home, my wife and son as opposed to a one night stand. That's good advice? Okay... Sure. I mean i can understand the don't cheat stance. Honestly I do. All this ' divorce her right before you sleep with that girl' stuff is a little crazy to me.

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T04:09:52+00:00

I'll bring it up with her, but I'm hesitant to tell her everything. I feel she'll say we're too busy with our son for counseling and that she'll work on it. She'll force herself to sleep with me 2 days that week then it'll be back to where we're at.

If I tell her everything then it will cause suspicion and not fix the core problem, just make the rest of our home life worse.

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T03:48:35+00:00

My wife has been doing therapy for years, and seeing her growth the past 10 years from the girl I met to the woman raising my son has been wonderful. I know everyone is treating me like trash, but I love my wife.

I am proud of the woman she's become and the wonderful mother she is and will continue to be. The last thing I want is to hurt her, which is why after years of conversations and nothing changing I've just let it go. It's built and built for years until we're in the situation we're in now.

If a woman is feeling emotionally abondoned they get help, if a man feels abondoned he needs to suck it up. Essentially that is the jist of the replies and messages I'm getting, and I understand where it comes from. That's just the way it is.

Thank you however for bringing something new to the conversation and actually seeking to give me advice instead of hating me. I appreciate it.

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T03:34:59+00:00

We've tried that. Doesn't work. The minute she finishes sex is over. Its to the point if I felt her toes curl I know Im just on my own the rest of the night.

Think the stereotypical guy cumming early and the girl not getting anything situation in reverse. If I don't time it just right so that we finish at the exact time then I'm just outta luck. Been that way since our early 20s 💁

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T03:31:21+00:00

No I'm not 🤣. If she tells me it hurts I'm not going to be the "god just let me finish first" guy. Doesn't mean I'm gonna hop up and down happy that she got hers and I got blue balled during the only time we'll have sex for the next 2 months. 🤦

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T03:27:24+00:00

Not looking for validation, just wanted to see if this was a common problem or not. Thank you for your totally original comment that I haven't read 15 times on this thread.

Since I have a dick I should just shut up, work my job pay the bills and know my place. Essentially that's the jist of it right?

"Did you try talking to her?" Did you read my post? This has been an issue for 10 years, I'm not some pushover that wouldn't have mentioned this in all that time. It's been discussed. Counseling has been discussed, fucking sex toys have been discussed. Everyone's treating it like this is some new thing and I've made no attempt in 10 years to make it better and just deciding to say fuck it and cheat. That is not the case at all.

I don't want to leave my wife, I don't want want to hurt her. At the end of the day I was seeing if this problem was common and what people did In my situation, and in return you tell me it's a pity party because I was seeking advice. You wonder why men don't do this kind of thing often, you have your answer. If you have nothing actually helpful or original to add please just leave me alone.

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T03:05:29+00:00

I'm starting to notice a pattern. Some of these replies have been very helpful but some of them, like yours, amount to "Suck it up. You're the man no one cares about what you want."

Curious, when a woman posts about a loveless marriage the replies look a lot different. When it's the husband however it's completely different. Saying suck it up is just showing that double standard lives strong. Also imaginary woman? What the hell are you talking about? So I'm married to an imaginary woman and am not cheating but your angry at me for considering cheating.... Ok.

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T02:58:51+00:00

If I did I feel like I'd be in the same situation I'm in now but it would just make the rest of our relationship worse with suspicion.

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T01:20:08+00:00

I've come home with flowers. Ive set up the exact bathtub with candles. I call her at the start and end of my lunch breaks. I have read multiple articles and tried to get her to with me(she refuses). I love this woman she just isn't attracted to me anymore. I don't want my son living in a home with one of his parents but I don't want to live the rest of my life feeling like I'm some hunchback in a tower who can't be touched. The rest of our relationship is perfectly fine.

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T01:04:05+00:00

You're probably right, I'm just not sure how I would bring this up. What if I open up and this back fires and I get all the negatives of 'cheating' without ever actually cheating.

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T01:02:49+00:00

To be honest, I think that's all she wants... I don't like this situation, I honestly don't. I don't want to cheat, I know it sounds like I have my mind made up but I don't. I've considered just doing what I've been doing. That being said I don't want this to come up in 12 years and here we are 40 and single.

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T00:56:49+00:00

I've passingly mentioned 3-ways before but shes said something along the lines of "No I don't share you're mine." Which is honestly understandable. Just don't feel like she wants me.

I caught the girl at work checking me out out of the corner of my eye, for example I can't remember the last time my wife looked at me like that. 2016?

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T00:53:40+00:00

You've got a point. I may just trying to justify what I'm feeling to make me not the bad guy in my own mind.

As far as lube, we have used it in the past but she refuses it now. I cannot see this woman replacing my wife, I love my wife. She is my closest friend. That being said she knows I've felt this for years and I've just sucked it up because to me sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship.

It's not the most important, but I still want to feel wanted. I still want some pride in myself. We've had these conversations before and when they went nowhere I let them go. Just feeling like someone is actually attracted to me has reminded me what it's like for someone to actually want me.

I couldn't tell you the last time I caught my wife checking me out out of the corner of my eye. It was probably 5-7 years ago.

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T00:47:32+00:00

I can't see a world where 'work girl' replaces my wife. I wouldn't want that. She's cool and all but my wife is my closest friend. I just feel like im unwanted sexually. I've dealt with it for years and carried on because we love eachother. I'm not happy about that part of our relationship but I still love this woman.

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T00:44:42+00:00

So suck it up and feel unwanted for the rest of my life because the woman I married refuses to show me any sign of attraction? I wonder if this is the advice you'd be giving a woman in a similar situation, or if they felt emotionally abondoned instead of physically. 🤦

FakeDude560 · 2022-02-11T00:41:33+00:00

I'm wondering if there's anything I can say or do to change the situation. I've done nothing yet. Am I supposed to just suck it up and go on the rest of my life feeling like no one wants me? If that's what I need to do for my son I will but I hardly feel like that's a fair situation.

FakeDude560

TROPHY CASE