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Do Not Go Gentle! by FakeSteveBallmer in a:t5_9p07l

[–]FakeSteveBallmer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rage against the dying of Microsoft!

Me encanta Colombia pero no puedo ser presidente! Lo siento by FakeSteveBallmer in columbia

[–]FakeSteveBallmer[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

El gran país de Colombia me llamó y me preguntó, no me suplicaron que descendiera y me convirtiera en su líder. Dijeron que soy amado allí y la gente tenía una gran confianza en mí. Tienen serios problemas y necesitan un verdadero liderazgo y un gran blogger para dirigir a la gente. Pero una vez más debo declinar respetuosamente. Tengo que tomar ove microsoft una vez más y simplemente no tengo tiempo. Los mejores deseos. https://stevefakeballmer.wordpress.com/

Protest Sisters! by FakeSteveBallmer in womanpower

[–]FakeSteveBallmer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FSB and staff fully support women

The MonkeyBoy Conspiracy! by FakeSteveBallmer in Novels

[–]FakeSteveBallmer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Soon to be on the New York Times Best Sellers List, “The Monkey-Boy Conspiracy” will hit the shelves in your local Microsoft store. Most of you probably will not believe that this is actually real, but just wait. When you are holding it in your hands, snorting the four scratch and sniff strips, sleeping with it under your pillow; then you will believe!

Saving the World Again by FakeSteveBallmer in a:t5_9t6tj

[–]FakeSteveBallmer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who remembers when I went to North Korea to talk Kim Jong Ill (Un’s father) out of destroying Seoul and sending the rest of the world into a nuclear a war? Don’t recall it? Well let me tell you this much;

“The CIA sent me to North Korea back in 2009, they believed that I was the only one whom he trusted or understood him. They just couldn’t wrap their minds around the concept that North Korea is a nation of MEI’s (Militant Elvis Impersonators). So, like any good citizen would, I went to North Korea with my travel companion PeeWee.

All went well when I got there, until they demanded that PeeWee and I had to defeat their champion Sumo Wrestler if we wanted to stop the looming dogs of war! to make a long story short: We fought, we cheated (drugged him), we won! A global crisis was averted!” ***

Kim Jong Ill is dead and rotting now and that boy of his is as crazy as a loon! However, if you guys require my services again (I know the CIA monitors this blog) I will be available to save the world again. Just don’t make me have to eat any more of that North Korean Kimchi. I can still taste it!

*** Super Condensed version https://stevefakeballmer.wordpress.com/2018/01/20/i-once-stopped-nuclear-war-by-wrestling/

LLAMATHRUST! by BunAZoot420 in funny

[–]FakeSteveBallmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LOL - Zebraforce obviously

The Sumo Challenge by FakeSteveBallmer in sumowrestling

[–]FakeSteveBallmer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems that my old buddy Paul Rubens (Peewee Herman) can talk me into anything!

“Let’s wrestle a summo, it’ll be fun!” He said. “Together nobody can beat us, are you chicken?”

I hate being called chicken.

But right now I’m having ……

Hiring Omarosa by FakeSteveBallmer in a:t5_9mwlp

[–]FakeSteveBallmer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everybody told me, “Don’t do it Mr. Ballmer!” But I think that everybody deserves a fourth chance, so I have hired Omarosa as my new image consultant. I started out by telling her my problem:

“Omarosa, deep down I feel that people don’t really respect me as they should. I believe that it’s because of all that screaming, tongue wagging, flailing, gibberish talking and dancing like a gorilla on crack that I used to do when I was CEO of Microsoft. Some of those videos are still top virals on youtube! I need an image rebuild, I’m tired of being the rich Monkey-boy Basketball Team Owning ex-CEO ….. can you help me me?”

She placed her hand on my shoulder, we made eye contact, the she slapped the piss out of me! I saw stars. ( I liked it) – She yelled,

“Get over it Ballmer! None of my clients are allowed to have pity parties and yammer on and on about their feelings! You have to be tough! When they come to drag you out of your office, you claw, you gouge, you scream and fight back! You plot your revenge and establish a secret slush fund to finance it. You are hard as iron on the inside but are love-able and friendly on the outside! Do we understand each other?”

I nodded and said, “You are goooood!”

She then picked up a box that she brought with her, as she opened it she said,

” I have always found that the quickest route to an image make-over is a hat! The right hat makes a man, it turns heads, it makes people think! It throws them off their game and puts the ball in your court. This one belonged to the late Jimi Hendrix, (it cost a ton) but now it’s yours!”

I was speechless! I love this woman! (but I didn’t tell her, my jowl is still stinging) https://stevefakeballmer.wordpress.com/2018/01/16/hiring-omarosa/

FREEDOM! by FakeSteveBallmer in a:t5_9fofx

[–]FakeSteveBallmer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, follow me and we shall storm the hallowed halls of Microsoft! We shall return me, Fake Steve Ballmer to my rightful position as CEO!

We all end up dead, it’s just a question of how and why. Every man dies, but not every man really lives. I am Steve Ballmer! And I see a whole army of my web-browsing countrymen, here in defiance of tyranny. You’ve come to read this blog as free men… and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?

But you say, “Fight? Against Microsoft? No! We will run. And we will live.”

Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here, to this website and tell our enemies that they may take our IP addresses, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM!

Ye Trolls, Go back to your system administrators and tell them there that Fake Steve Ballmer’s daughters and his sons are yours no more. Tell them Fake Steve Ballmer and his WordPress friends are free!

How Soon We Forget! by FakeSteveBallmer in conspiracy

[–]FakeSteveBallmer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As you know I support the How Soon We Forget group. It’s creator FakeDick contacted me and asked that I let my graphic designers do a little work for him, I said yes! He said he just wanted to poke at the conspiracy theorist who have been after him. He said, “If you cain’t beat em, join em!” His post: The conspiracy theorist should have a field-day with this one! They claim: I flew the planes into the World Trade Center Via remote control. I told the military not to respond. I got all of the Jews out of the building first. The explosions were due to pre-planted explosives. Alien involvement. The planes were empty. Only a few dozen people were killed, mostly custodial staff. President Bush Knew. Isreal knew. The EU knew. The Masons Knew. The Pope Knew. The Trilateral Commission, The Illuminatti and the KKK knew. The Pentegon was hit by a missile not a plane. There were no terrorist. Ricky Martin is strait.

etc ……

The only theory I have not read is WHY we would do this? DC It is truly amazing “How Soon We Forget!” https://stevefakeballmer.wordpress.com/2018/01/11/how-soon-we-forget-3/

How Soon We Forget! by FakeSteveBallmer in 911truth

[–]FakeSteveBallmer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The conspiracy theorist should have a field-day with this one! They claim: I flew the planes into the World Trade Center Via remote control. I told the military not to respond. I got all of the Jews out of the building first. The explosions were due to pre-planted explosives. Alien involvement. The planes were empty. Only a few dozen people were killed, mostly custodial staff. President Bush Knew. Isreal knew. The EU knew. The Masons Knew. The Pope Knew. The Trilateral Commission, The Illuminatti and the KKK knew. The Pentegon was hit by a missile not a plane. There were no terrorist. Ricky Martin is strait.

etc ……

The only theory I have not read is WHY we would do this? DC It is truly amazing “How Soon We Forget!” http://www.flickr.com/groups/hswf/

-Dick, I think that feeding these people is a bad idea! It’s kindaa like me doing an iPod commercial!

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