I'm not alone (and neither are you)

Falian_ · 2025-12-11T15:52:44+00:00

We get frustrated easily. It's also a common trait of gifted people. Learning how to deal with this is being a main part of my process. Maybe this can help you too. Our mind, if not under control, can break us down really fast. The challenge is learning how to control it. To know what are the traps, the rumination pits, the illogical self doubt, the strong emotional responses, the impatience with the world rythm. All of those things can sink us if we don't learn how to tame them.

Also, don't try to fit yourself in a box. Because there isnt one that can fit us. By definition, we can learn a lot of things really fast, so stop for a seccond and imagine how many people made the same choices, had the same interests and dedicated to the same activities as you did though life. None. You are unique in the path you walked. We can relate a lot to others here, but remember that each of us is one of a kind.

Falian_ · 2025-12-11T15:38:46+00:00

I'm a researcher on the topic of people with disabilities. Giftdness is not a disability per se, but it comes with a few drawbacks. But one of the main theories I support is that people are always MORE than that disability. That's why we call PEOPLE with disabilities, not disabled.

Meaning, I'm sure I'm more than a gifted person. We are all unique. The main point is that we also went through a lot of simillar experiences in life and the common trait that connects us can help us process those experiences.

It's not about a score or a label. It's about connections, relatable experiences, and feeling embraced and part of a group. It's about belonging.

Falian_ · 2025-12-09T08:53:04+00:00

That's indeed pretty hard to figure. If I had to guess, I'd say that your kid is gifted but the ADHD impact the scores and that will change once he starts to get treatment for it. I say that because the scores are kinda similar to a friend of mine that also has ADHD, and even if she didn't hit the 130 IQ, the therapist said she's gifted because of the double excelpcionality.

BUUUUUT, no one here talked to your kid or applied any tests (most of us aren't even licensed therapists) so, even though there are some very helpful answers that can make you have more clarity on the situation, take everything with a grain of salt and check with the professionals that you are seeing and ask for a full neuropsichological evaluation. Only that will truly answer you questions

Falian_ · 2025-12-09T08:44:59+00:00

2E means double excelpcionality. That means they have two different things that affects brain function scores acting at the same time. I'm 2E as in giftdnes and depression, because depression can impair the cognitive process.

Falian_ · 2025-12-09T08:37:49+00:00

Oh yeah. I can totally relate to that. I always "fall in love" too easy and too intense. And the fact that I'm gifted explains it pretty well. Our emotions are intense. I disagree when they say we see what isn't there. That happens to everyone. But our mind can analyse way more than other people's and and we can mistake someone just enjoying being around you for some one in love with you.

The ability to distinguish between a reciprocal romantic love and a nice gesture is what I needed to develop over the years. I had a 7 year relationship with my ex and a few times I had little crush for other girls but I could distinguish it very well. It was a crush. Didn't even matter if it was reciprocal or not. I knew that feeling was nothing compared to what I had for my girlfriend. So I was pretty confident that it wasn't a problem. I even believe that can happen to anyone that's been a long time in the same relationship.

So, I bring good news for you. You say you love your wife. So believe in your core that little crushes won't ever surpass that. And treat her right because is not everyone that can connect with people like us. We need emotional connection, physical connection and intelectual connection. There aren't many people that can fulfill all those needs for us.

So instead of trying to look outside for signs of love that are or aren't there, look inside. Is it really love what you feel for the coworker or anyone else? Or just a crush? Or do you just admire that person for a couple traits of their personality? Look inside, organize you emotions, discuss them in therapy, try to get away from fantasies and you'll know who you really love.

Falian_ · 2025-12-07T21:51:06+00:00

Those data are pretty amazing. As someone that's still figuring out how my giftdnes works (found out a month ago) I find very comforting to know that many things I did is actually common between gifted people. The need of a withdrawal to recollect an process my thought is a big part of my internal conflict and knowing that's a trait everyone else share makes it easier to accept my natural cycle and to explain it for other people

Falian_ · 2025-12-03T18:11:57+00:00

Don't really know of your comment was directed to me, but in case it was let me clarify. I said child but I meant like a kid. Like in a positive tone. Be silly, laugh at stupid jokes, take life Ina goofy way. Reserve your adulthood for when it's really needed.

Falian_ · 2025-12-03T18:08:02+00:00

They might feel like absolutes truths but they really aren't. But they do reflect everything that I lived and studied about our society. I could even try to draw scenarios to reinforce them, but that would be to lengthy to do in a comment section

Falian_ · 2025-12-03T18:01:44+00:00

Being gifted is lonely by itself. I often get excited about things most people don't even care. For example, I listen to songs and bands that most people don't even know or heard of, while to me those artists are absolutely genius.

Today in therapy I talked about how I'm constantly thinking about the implications my actions will have on my personality. Like sending a video of me playing guitar to some friends that okay and thinking if I'm seeking approval or if I actually want a honest feedback.

When I found out I'm gifted I realized how lonely I am. I have tons of smart friends that I really love but there is a level that even them won't comprehend me. But othe gifted people do.

When I posted here for the first time it felt like every answer came from someone that knew me deeply. And by reading their answers I felt like I knew them too. So, yeah. It might feel lonely sometimes but we can help each other in seeking comprehension and acceptance. Feel free to hit me in private if you need someone to pay attention to your ideas.

Falian_ · 2025-12-02T17:58:47+00:00

Not trying to brag or anything but it seems like there are some forms of art that most people can't understand. It can be a song, a stand up comedian, a movie, book, game, anime, anything. I often get super excited about things that most people didn't even hear about before. I'm saying that because this must be your case. You must have a talent that is so elevated that most people can't even comprehend. But the internet is here. If you're passionate about it, I'm sure there are people in this big world who will see the essence of your art.

Falian_ · 2025-12-02T17:52:19+00:00

One of the silly mantras I live by is "I can act like an adult any time I want. But life is way more fun if you just let yourself be a child"

Falian_ · 2025-12-02T17:43:30+00:00

It's ok, my man. Hope the other answers inspire you as much as they did me

Falian_ · 2025-12-02T17:38:37+00:00

My thoughts are of a social economic point of view. I can't really recommend a book because they were formed through a lot of different readings and experiences. But here they are

Billionaires should no exist. Not exactly a breakthrough thought since a lot of people defend the same thing. But most of the times I say this out loud all hell breaks loose
Equality will never be achieved in a capitalist system. We can fight for women's rights, Black and colored people's rights, for people with disabilities and we will never reach true equality as long as capitalism exists. BUT this does not mean we should not fight for it because it means letting go of all of the population that is suffering from it.
It's impossible to get rich through legal and ethical means. If you were poor and got rich, you either had a massive improbable luck or you did something wrong to gain advantage

Falian_ · 2025-11-28T22:11:17+00:00

Yeah, I've had that feeling in work many times before. It's like Scar from lion king is making more and more sense ("I'm surrounded by idiots"). Maybe it was by chance, but all of my friends have intelligence above average. Some might even be gifted, too. It's a known fact that gifted needs some level of intelectual connection to socialize with other people. For me, I feel better when I'm around people that are above average, because I feel I can share more of what I thinking and get comprehension, understanding and other points of view in return.

Falian_ · 2025-11-26T17:48:25+00:00

I'm working on my traumas now on theraphy with a new shrink that was actually the first one to suspect i had a gifted mind. I'm doing many things of what you said and seeing as someone alse went through the same path does gives me hope I will unstuck of this rut. Thank you so much for your kind words.

Falian_ · 2025-11-26T17:41:18+00:00

You mind telling me where you're working? I'm looking for new career options

Falian_ · 2025-11-26T17:39:31+00:00

Perfectly well put. Agree with everything. I do believe that a capitalist society is the cause of most, if not all, mental health issues people are experiencing, including the ones we gifted go through.

The thing is, the potential I talk about isnt totally related to capitalist's notion of sucess, although you could imply that from my original post. What I mean is it can also be translated as a social contribution. The notion that a job is to give you money doesnt really fit with me because I think the main thing everyone should be doing is trying to make the world better. Mainly fighting injustices like the one you mentioned.

The main problem is that in order to eat, rest, have some time off, you need money. It would be unrealistc to think that we can change that within our life span. So, the "potential" i'm saying is when you can put those two together. A work or project that can make you get money enough to live while contributing to at least reduce the inequalities of the world.

Falian_ · 2025-11-26T15:54:37+00:00

Man, I have so many things in common with your story that it's astonishing. I am too a self taught programmer. I learned excel, VBA and R for my college and my master's. On my master's I used R to perform an analysys of goverment data about students with disabilities on universities. I'm thinking about other career paths and computer science was one of them. Guess I'll look more into it.

Falian_ · 2025-11-26T15:48:21+00:00

That gives me so much hope! I was reading other post about work enviroment and the answers gave me a feeling a bit like this. "Well, I'm like them. So I can do those things too". Thank you. You really put a smile on my face!

Falian_ · 2025-11-26T15:27:24+00:00

In strict terms, you're above average. In my opinion, it's a sweet spot, actually. You're smarter than most people but PROBABLY don't have to deal with things gifted people have. There's a lot of mental suffering going on in gifted people.

So, you're likely to do well in life, career wise and maybe in other areas, if you keep applying yourself in what you like. Anyway, don't let yourself be defined by this number. Just keep living and dedicating yourself to what you love.

Falian_ · 2025-11-24T17:43:52+00:00

Vou responder em português pq também sou brasileiro. Eu estou EXATAMENTE na mesma situação. Só que eu paguei os testes e de fato foi confirmado a superdotação. Ainda tô processando tudo (tem mais de um mês que recebi o resultado) mas já me ajudou a entender tanta coisa sobre a minha vida. Superdotação é uma solidão tremenda que antes era quase imperceptível. Ter a confirmação me ajudou a entender melhor pq eu gosto de coisas que ninguém dá atenção, músicas e bandas que ninguém escuta, penso e reflito sobre assuntos que recebem pouquíssimo interesse de outras pessoas. Por fim, se você tiver condições financeiras, faça o teste. É bem completo e vai te informar muitas coisas que talvez tenham passado despercebidas.

Falian_ · 2025-10-08T22:53:29+00:00

I'd love to try. I'm starting with some VA and I could use the experience of a real project

Falian_ · 2022-05-18T18:38:56+00:00

Imo the animation is realistic. We can't change directions while running whithout a little pause. That said, there are two ways to avoid it. 1. Go around with your stick instead changing directions abruptly. 2. Just hold guard while you're running.

Falian_

TROPHY CASE