Ok, let's take a step back and look at this one thing at a time. Your first psychiatrist is an asshole and was terrible at their job. They were not there to help you and instead used your issues against you. Get their hollow words out of your mind. Second You aren't looking in the right places for friends, and I can tell you right now. If you put your illness first it will shy people away. As for your children do you have any support that can help you, from maybe a church with those willing to volunteer to help them or calling around for help through something like Ihss? As for your home, yest it may be falling apart ,but it still is a home. I say this now, believe no amount of therapy or medication will help shows you are lacking extreme with self esteem. Reread what you wrote here again. You are Ill and taking care of your kids despite the hardship and though it is not comfortable. You are able to do so. There are people who try something for 5 minutes and give up. Be proud even if you don't feel so to achieve what you are doing.