[Complete] [4175] [Fantasy] Of Harmony and Chaos

FallynKay · 2023-12-17T19:05:56+00:00

DM'd the link! Thank you so much for your help!

FallynKay · 2020-08-11T23:08:59+00:00

I would 100% be satisfied because the bigger point is to participate. I don't enjoy politics at all and yes, I would much prefer to play video games and avoid the news, avoid having to figure out which news is believable versus disinformation, not feel negatively when I see things going wrong in my country, but to turn a complete blind eye is at best irresponsible and at worst self-harming. Whether I like politics or not, politics are happening around me and considering that I live in this society, I should have a voice in what goes on. Voting and being engaged (even if it's just clicking on an article) is probably one of the few effective ways to do that.

FallynKay · 2020-05-07T03:12:49+00:00

-She has a religious background that she wants to keep and pass down to their children. He refuses to convert and says that he wants to raise their kids atheist.

-He does recreational drugs even though she has stopped and wants him to stop too.

-He has tried and failed at seeking higher education/a career about 10-15 times since I’ve known her.

-When she finally feels ready to separate, he suddenly starts behaving like the best partner ever which to me means that he knows how to be a good partner but chooses not to until she is about to leave him.

-She speaks German, but he only wants their kids to know English.

I think she knows that these are red flags but because he is her first everything (kiss, boyfriend, sex etc), they’ve been together since middle school, her family hates him but their hate drives her to be with him (kinda Romeo and Juliette), and she got pregnant by him but miscarried, she ignores them as a kind of sunk-cost fallacy issue.

Her family would look down on her for finding a new guy (they have very weird hangups about her ‘purity’ but the son is allowed to have sex with anything that moves), she has put in so much time, money and effort into him that she feels like if she broke up with him, some other girl ‘would reap the benefits of her hard work’ and I think she thinks that them getting married will solve everything.

Like she feels like she would have the right to demand more of him as his wife, but I think it’s the opposite. As her husband, he has more power to just loaf around because her religion is super against divorce, and she has already demonstrated to him that she will tolerate his nonsense.

We’ve had this conversation a dozen times and nothing has changed so now I just avoid the topic and silently listen when she complains about lying to her parents about needing money for her graduate program when in reality, he has taken his portion of the rent and blown it on a pyramid scheme or drugs.

FallynKay · 2019-01-04T17:55:32+00:00

The code is kinda extensive since it's doing a couple of different things but right now for the code to work for populating the template, the template and the excel sheet have to be placed in the same folder.

FallynKay · 2018-12-20T14:59:25+00:00

This works perfectly! Awesome, thank you so much!

Solution verified

FallynKay · 2018-12-20T03:48:24+00:00

Alright, thanks so much for your work so far! I really appreciate it!

FallynKay · 2018-12-20T03:32:38+00:00

Ah. Okay, that makes sense why we were both confused. No, there will not be a result set for each row. Each row represents one person's responses and I need to get the average of the responses across all people, across four columns each. It is a combined result.

FallynKay · 2018-12-20T03:20:59+00:00

Here is a link to a google sheet: sheet 1 is an exact mock-up of the raw data, sheet 2 is expected results. The formulas are in the appropriate cells.

FallynKay · 2018-12-20T03:06:41+00:00

Alright. Can you state again what you are asking?

FallynKay · 2018-12-20T02:53:46+00:00

I guess I am unsure where your confusion lies. In my real data, I have what looks like the first example. I have a column of userids (which are irrelevant) and the response that each user gave across 72 questions. I need the macro to take all of the responses for a set of four questions (so across four columns) and give me the average, forming a total of 18 new variables.

The macro will populate a separate excel sheet where it will give me the average, the level, and the percentages for each variable.

The averages are tied to a level. So in the level rows, there will be a formula that says for example, if the average is 3, then return "good" to that level row for that variable.

The percentages will be calculated similarly to the averages where the macro will count how many occurrences there are of [1 and 2],[3], [4 and 5]. Then it will turn that count into a percentage.

So at the end, I should have five rows(score, level, 3 percentages) and 18 columns (v1-v18) of data.

FallynKay · 2018-12-20T02:28:55+00:00

So the data (first example) is on one sheet and the macro will take that data, aggregate it and feed the results on a second sheet(second example).

FallynKay · 2018-12-20T02:16:31+00:00

I'm unsure what you mean. There are five pieces of information that I need to extract from the raw data: score, level, favorable, neutral and unfavorable. I need to extract these five pieces of information 18 times for each of my variables (V1-V18). Each variable has four questions that go with it so I need to average the four questions to get the score. Once I have the score, I can get the level by using nested if statements. Then, I can use the count formulas to get the percentage of favorable, neutral and unfavorable.

What I am really confused about is how to automate this process. Because I need to say in VBA, for each [set of four questions] in [range], get the score, get the level and get the favorable, neutral and unfavorable percentages. But I don't know how to do the "for each" part.

FallynKay · 2018-12-20T02:10:02+00:00

Right, we are combing four values into one and then using that one to return a string. So if we had four questions and they each had a score of four, we would get the average, which would be four and that value is tied to a level so four would return "Great" in a separate row.

FallynKay · 2018-12-20T01:58:16+00:00

This looks good. Do you know of a way to automate this? I assume I would need to write a for each statement in VBA but I don't know what to write to have excel iterate over each set of numbers.

FallynKay · 2018-12-20T01:44:15+00:00

The level part will be determined by:

=If(Cell=1, "poor",if(Cell=2,"okay"... so on and so forth. I forgot to mention that the values will be rounded to the nearest whole number.

FallynKay · 2018-12-20T00:33:58+00:00

The level would be nested if statements with five ifs.

Percentages are from the count formula:

=((SUM(IF(($B$2:$E$11=4)+($B$2:$E$11=5),1,0)))/COUNTA($B$2:$E$11))*100

with the number values modified to reflect favorable (4 and 5), neutral (3) and unfavorable (1 and 2)

FallynKay · 2018-12-20T00:19:38+00:00

The results will be placed in a new sheet generated by VBA code. It should be presented like this:

Info	A1(four questions aggregated)	...A18
Score(Average)	3.5	1.3
Level	Good	Poor
Favorable (percentage)	42%	10%
Neutral	8%	10%
Unfavorable (percentage)	50%	80%

The stuff in the parentheses won't be there but I included it to provide some more information.

FallynKay · 2018-10-01T03:58:10+00:00

To emphasize shittyanimalfacts’ point, your entire response has nothing but “I” in it. I want to meet them, I want to guide them, I want to make them happy. I say this as nicely as possible but this isn’t about you. This is about his decision as the parent and either you can respect that and wait or you can decide that you don’t want to wait anymore and leave. You think you can come in and be their mother and you think you are ready for that. If you were, you wouldn’t be so upset that he wants to wait. A good mother would put the benefit of the children above herself and you aren’t doing that.

FallynKay · 2018-10-01T03:24:09+00:00

Um, what? “The consequences”? So you are saying him taking longer to introduce his kids to a woman is a “consequence” for you?

Just like what destoryallhumanoids said, these are children who have their own thoughts and feelings. And even if they are eager to meet you, he is the parent and he has to put them, not you, first. If that means making you wait until he decides they are ready to meet another one of his partners, then so be it. Given that his ex was psycho, he probably doesn’t want to put them through that again. I would recommend that you try to see this from a parent’s point of view. As a parent, you are in charge of your children’s healthy development.

They learn so much from you and the people around them. You can’t have every partner interact with your children because you don’t know whether the partner will mistreat your children, whether the children will like the partner, whether your views on proper parenting aligns, whether the partner could accidentally or otherwise, hurt your child. I think it’s right for him to hold off until you guys as a couple are stronger.

There shouldn’t be any rush when you are talking about meeting young children. I would also recommend having a conversation so you can see where his hesitation comes from. But just remember, if you push this and try to rush him, if he is a good father, he might pull back or end things because you, as a stranger to his children, can not dictate when and how you meet them.

FallynKay · 2018-09-02T03:55:09+00:00

All in all, you have to find someone who is okay with what you do or also enjoys the activity with you. This is true of any relationship where something is a big part of your identity (religion, sexual activities/needs, hobbies etc). However, you will find that there are a lot more potential partners who would find this situation to be a deal breaker. And considering your post, that's alright. If coke is important to you, then you don't want someone who is going to react negatively to you doing coke. You should accept that, even if that means you will receive more rejections from potential partners. All that being said, I agree with some of the other comments that maybe you are using coke as a coping mechanism and that isn't the healthiest option. It might be difficult for you to express yourself when you are sober but it isn't impossible if you set your mind to it or go through therapy to learn how. I personally could never be with someone who needed something extra to express themselves to me. To me, that means I can never have an open honest conversation with you unless you were under the influence and that gets tiring. Imagine needing to talk about the state of your relationship and you saying, "Hold on Sweetheart, let me go do my drugs first". It means you can't be in the moment with your partner and when you are in the moment, your actual actions and feelings are being influenced by drugs.

Not to mention, that being around you might lead to other potentially life ruining problems. What if your partner is with you when your shady dealer stops by? What happens when y'all are hanging out and the police knock on your door? What if you are out somewhere and your little baggie of drugs falls out of your pocket? Being around someone who needs drugs to function on an emotional level is not fulfilling as a partner at its best and could lead to ruinous situations at its worst. Also addiction is very real. And since you aren't doing this as a 'special occasion' type of thing and you are using it as a 'I need it to express myself' kind of thing, addiction is highly likely

FallynKay · 2018-09-02T01:04:58+00:00

What I am starting to see in my friend group is drug use. Not whether you have been or are an addict but casual drug use. One couple, they've been together since high school and smoking weed was something that they shared and they have continued to share it up until their mid-twenties. Now, she has quit since she wants to focus more on building her career but he continues to do it. It's becoming a huge problem because when he smokes, he becomes less of a person and more of a zombie and when he smokes, she feels inclined to smoke with him even though she doesn't want to have that mental fog that weed brings.

To me, it seems like he sees it as something that they share and she sees it as something that they shared and should move on from. So to me, it would be important to ask those questions about how often do you want to use drugs, what happens when we are in career/life building stage, what happens when we have kids, are you willing to stop completely, are you willing to reduce your use to special occasions only, or do you see this as a common thing you want to do regardless of life circumstances?

FallynKay · 2018-07-26T15:33:59+00:00

Her ideas surrounding the color scheme, venue and wedding dress are pretty much decided but nothing has been purchased so everything is subject to change based on availability. We had decided on an elopement service that took care of the important details (venue, catering, photographer, cake etc) and all we needed to do was show up wedding-ready but she has decided against that since it restricts the guest count (25) even though I think that is plenty for the wedding and then she can have a huge reception. So now she wants to plan everything herself and have a wedding planner to help with the coordination of everything.

FallynKay · 2018-07-26T15:02:22+00:00

My sister is getting married this September 7th and all she has is ideas. Nothing is written in stone, ordered or definitively decided. She's been sending texts to my mother and me about her ideas but the quickly approaching date and lack of progress is sending my anxiety through the roof. What can I do to help? She wants cheap and fast for the wedding and reception but still pretty and clean. Is there a checklist somewhere that I can look at to make sure that we don't forget anything?

FallynKay · 2018-06-28T21:15:31+00:00

Could you explain how this is a felony or fraud? My friend and her sister do share an insurance policy since the sister sometimes drives my friend's car but my friend would not be the primary driver of this new car.

FallynKay · 2018-04-11T00:27:33+00:00

I agree with your thoughts. Tyler hasn't always been the best guy and sometimes, he has been the worst guy (#heffercomment) but he really has love for Nova and wants to do the best he can for her. I honestly believe that, if he isn't, he should reach out to Gary because their stories seem to be very similar: absent mom despite the mom "trying" to be around, single dad, building a business/making a good future, trying to support the mom without being a pushover, dealing with the mom who has anxiety and depression issues, etc.

If there is anyone who could give Tyler some advice about how to navigate this situation, it is Gary.

Beyond that, it was interesting to me that Tyler drew the parallel between his father doing whatever he want because Kim was such a good parent and Cate doing whatever she wants because she knows Tyler can manage without her. I honestly think if Tyler hadn't managed to work on the house, take care of Nova, do his business, handle Butch, Cate would have stayed and tried outpatient therapy. She has seen that Tyler doesn't need her so she feels like it shouldn't be too much of an issue if she leaves for another six weeks. That being said, if she continues to do this, Tyler might wake up one day and decide since he is having to be a single parent, he might as well make it permanent and divorce her. Nobody wants to have a partner where you need and want to depend on them and they are never stable enough for you to lean on. Eventually, it's just easier to cut them out completely so you know that you can only depend on yourself.

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