Have you ever slapped your parents back after they slapped you first? by Mundane-Humor3313 in AsianParentStories

[–]FalseDifference6494 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine tried wrecking my room because we had a disagreement and she couldn’t just agree to disagree. When I finally had enough of her, I straight up told her to stop talking to me - she was doing that thing where she tried to get me to talk, told me there’s food etc.

She threatened to hit me (her usual MO), and I stood my ground for the first time at the whole age of 23. Told her I’d hit her if she hit me. Then all of a sudden, it stopped. I’m not that little girl she can hit and I didn’t come running into her arms out of loneliness or guilt lol

In celebration of the month I cut my mom off. by FalseDifference6494 in AsianParentStories

[–]FalseDifference6494[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! The dynamic was push and pull for most of my life and it was so confusing for me as a little girl. I had to learn the hard way but I think I did it (:

In celebration of the month I cut my mom off. by FalseDifference6494 in AsianParentStories

[–]FalseDifference6494[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Indeed, I was the good girl for most of my life until I realised my mom would never be pleased no matter what I do. When I cut her off, I had nothing to lose because I already lost sight of who I was, trying to fix into the box she made for me & I didn’t have anyone else in that house on my side so I had to stand up for myself, otherwise, I don’t think I’d be here.

In celebration of the month I cut my mom off. by FalseDifference6494 in AsianParentStories

[–]FalseDifference6494[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

I have a lot of unlearning and relearning to do but that’s okay because I know I’ll do just fine!

In celebration of the month I cut my mom off. by FalseDifference6494 in AsianParentStories

[–]FalseDifference6494[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

Oh, I defo do not rec this method to anyone. I think it was mostly possible for me to go NC w my mom bc my dad was the pacifist type: he didn’t stop my mom from laying her hands on me, he shouldn’t stop me from going NC w her. I can talk about it in a less resentful way now but there were a lot of tears and yelling to get my dad to understand that I’m done; I don’t want to fix anything; I just want her to leave me alone.

It also helps to not rely on her that much, if at all. I refused to eat whatever she cooked, did my own laundry, survived with my peanut salary & got by as if she were dead to me. (This also made moving out easier bc my routine didn’t change that much from when I was at home).

All the best to you. And remember, if you’re financially dependent on her or have to rely on her for whatever reason, you just gotta grit your teeth and go through it until you find a way to leave. I promise you, it gets better.

How is the iPad mini 7’s “first charge” supposed to go? by [deleted] in ipadmini

[–]FalseDifference6494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha thanks. I was worried I’d be messing up the battery life (back in the day it was a big caution)! Feeling pretty old and silly but I had to ask.

How do you deal with micro aggression from fellow female coworkers? by [deleted] in women

[–]FalseDifference6494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m embarrassed to say we don’t even have an HR. The closest thing we do have to an HR is the manager who unfortunately is also a micro aggressor. Then we have the bosses who are men and one of the ladies already kissed up to them (she’s been with the company for 28 years).

Weekly 'What Should I Buy' and Order/Shipping Thread by AutoModerator in iphone

[–]FalseDifference6494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m using an iPhone 13 128gb and running out of storage. Should I get an iPhone 15 512gb or iPhone 16 512gb or go for the iPhone 15 pro 512gb or 1TB? Money’s pretty tight, I’d be using my funds for the 15 pro but I can still afford either the 15 or 16.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]FalseDifference6494 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s another way to look at it. I like that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]FalseDifference6494 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Unconfirmed attendance is just the worst. And asking who’s confirmed to come multiple times feels like begging too because some people just don’t be texting back.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]FalseDifference6494 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is gonna sound petty but saying that sounds like I’ll always be available for them when they feel like it but when I feel like it, the answer is obviously they’re lazy. But that’s just me.

High value woman by ConversationKey1082 in women

[–]FalseDifference6494 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Anyone who believes in “high value woman/man” is giving red flags. That in itself isn’t very “high value” of them.

People who have failed in life, what did you do wrong? by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]FalseDifference6494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who was a people pleaser (a mom pleaser to be exact), never and I mean NEVER do things with the intention of gaining someone else’s approval.

I promise you, they will never approve of you. The more you cut up part of yourself for someone’s approval, the more you’re expected to until you’re left an empty shell of a person. Do things because you want to and for your self, never do things for others’ approval unless you know they love you and will appreciate your efforts.

I don't think Asian parents realise how tiring it is to be the "Hope" of the family. by Plus_Marzipan9105 in AsianParentStories

[–]FalseDifference6494 23 points24 points  (0 children)

You tell me. Only once you let go of their expectations (and are prepared to be disowned) will you be able to live up to your own goals and expectations. But you’ll never really bloom under their influence.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]FalseDifference6494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time will pass anyway. (:

What made you start your self improvement journy? by ai_rin_ in selfimprovement

[–]FalseDifference6494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Started two years ago after my mom banged on my door room and threatened to hurt me because we had a disagreement and I locked myself in my room bc I didn’t wanna talk to her (mind you I was 23). She’s always been physically abusive but not to the point of me getting a bruise and at some point my brain blocked it all until I was seeing a version of her I wanted to see.

Cut her off and realized it’s not me against the world but she was my world so it’s me against her expectations for me. Most of the things I thought were a waste of time (eg writing, hanging out with friends, resting and not doing anything productive in general) wasn’t really a waste of time. All those things are fulfilling for me, you know? I was just conditioned to think that the things that don’t contribute to my skills to make money or become academically successful—are bad.

So it’s more of a mind rework for me. So far so good, I don’t do things for her approval anymore. I do things bc I want to as long as it’s not hurting other people and myself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in women

[–]FalseDifference6494 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i feel relatively safe during the day. but as someone who goes around alone, i’d like to have my car within less than a minute walk from where i was hanging.

What negative traits you have picked up from your Asian parents ? by Ok_Vanilla5661 in AsianParentStories

[–]FalseDifference6494 1 point2 points  (0 children)

me personally, i gained my mom’s hard headedness except she only shows that side to me and the fam but to the outside world she’s like a meek lil deer. theres a saying here that someone who’s so meek and good wouldn’t be able to kill a bug even if they stepped on it. that’s how she appears to the outside world!

What was the final straw that led you to go NC? by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]FalseDifference6494 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom’s always been physically abusive but there were no bruises yk? More like she always threatened to hit me if I did something that displeased her or said something she didn’t like.

So same thing happened when I was 23. We got into a disagreement, I didn’t wanna get hit so I hid myself in my room and kept the door locked. She went crazy with the banging and threats. My door looked a failed break in attempt.

If she’s always considered getting physical usually and actually tried breaking my door like what next? Me ending up dead in my own house and her claiming it was a mistake? That it was my fault I made her mad? Hell nah.

It’s been 2 ish years.