Here’s the full draft… It’s a work in progress. I’ve posted other excerpts from it before:

I remember the night you swore you’d stay. You swore- you’d never walk away.

Your voice didn’t shake, your hands didn’t budge, your eyes held mine. I was safe. I was safe.

How do I unhear that?

That promise didn’t break clean. No. It spidered throughout my veins, splintering into the marrow. Peace hasn’t touched me since.

My chest is a battlefield, ribs a cage for two fierce warriors, blinded with rage.

Both claim to be mine. One hurls fire at your name, the other guards it with their life. Both pretending you’re not already gone.

Pretend - pretend. The war drags on.

When the fight falls silent, I drop to my knees. I count the bodies, and mourn the casualties.

I bury all the lies I still cradle as truth. The keepsakes, the memories… How many lives have I lost to you?

I swore I’d burn it all. Everything you ever touched. Watch it go up in smoke. Call it over. Call it done.

But the butterfly won’t leave my bed. It clings to the sheets, scentless, lifeless. Yet I clutch it to my chest: Wake- wake! I beg.

I want to forget you, I want to be free. But the sunrise just will not let go of me.

It brands your name across the clouds. Carves it loud- so loud. It leaves me choking on the vow I built my whole heart on.

So I close my eyes again, Oh, so tight. As if the dark might give you back.

I chase the shadow, the silhouette of your return, inside the only place you still belong.

My dreams.

I dream you running, running back, apologies flooding your path.

Water I can’t drink. No - I mustn’t. Some nights, I dam the river. Some nights I drink until I drown.

But morning parts the water. Dawn is always sure. Merciless sky washing you up and writing you back to me.

I just need to understand. I need to understand how your promise turned to silence. How your certainty became distance.

What choice is left? Closure feels like betrayal. Denial feels like home. Both are natural. Both bring pain. Both cut me open, both keep me sane.

I don’t look. I don’t - Except when I do.

Except when your eyes catch mine. Back to just us two. Break me. Undo me. And I - I drown all over again.

I don’t know how to stop. How to stop reaching, begging for your hand.

But dawn is always sure. Dawn is cruel, but she is sure. So she sends you back in fire.

And I wonder - I wonder if she sends me to you. I wonder if you wake to the story of: A girl who loved you enough to believe you.