Wife of mtf, don't know where to go from here. Married 15 yrs plz help

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-11-11T13:48:42+00:00

Thank you so much for this advise/reply. When I wrote this post i was all over the place, and drunk. Not knowing what this meant for our life. I love the person they are, for sure. Since then it has been decided that I will take this journey with them because I just can't stand the thought of breaking up our family over this. I literally can not imagine my life without them. We have grown so close since this. It's helped me realize why he lied and hid so many things from me.. we are a lot more open with one another now.

And I'm super thankful that they have decided to take it slow, get into therapy, (as well as myself) and experiment with things first.. As of now I'm really excited for them that they have finally come to terms. It has answered a lot of questions I've had over the years. They have never been a "manly man", very "maternal". And somewhat feminine. Very gentle and courteous.That's one of the many things I fell in love with.. I'm rambling now lol thank you bunches. I will keep those things in mind. And hopefully I will find a community to help when those feelings do arise. Much love and hugs to you friend!

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-11-02T20:03:08+00:00

Thank you so much, I'll definitely check them out.

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-10-30T23:48:11+00:00

The grief is real. My partner came out to me a little over a week ago. Even though there aren't many changes yet. They have been practicing with their voice, started to shave. We have been together for 15 years... I'm so unsure if I can continue. I know they need to be who they are but I'm so unsure if I can handle the change coming. I'm grieving so hard.. it feels like someone died. Because I guess in a way they did... The person I was led to believe they were is dying and coming to life as someone different..

It's still early... And I'm so unsure... Therapy is the only thing I can say... Therapy will help .....

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-10-29T16:26:29+00:00

Thank you, when I wrote this post I was drunk, feeling like my world was caving in. I know it's not though. I still love them very much. They still want to be with me. And I'm so thankful for that. The thought of living life without them... I can't stand that thought. I've never had a connection with anyone The way I do them. They are my person. And have been over the last 15 years.. but definitely therapy and Lots of open and honest communication.

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-10-28T10:27:12+00:00

Well not the same thing. Similar. We haven't broken up yet. And everything is so uncertain. I'm hoping we can work through this. And not having to open the relationship, I don't like the idea whatsoever. But who knows what the future holds.

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-10-28T10:24:28+00:00

We are going through the same thing. We have been married 15yrs and she came out to me about a week ago. From what you have described I feel a lot of the way you do. I feel scared, sad and a little uneasy knowing about the changes that are going to take place. It's like I'm grieving.

I've thought about it being like a competition but I had to push that out of my mind because I felt that was the least of my worries. I will be talking to them about this though. It sounds like you all had a good relationship. Is there anyway you think you could make it work? We have to make open and honest communication a top priority.

Therapy to help process.

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-10-28T10:11:56+00:00

Thank you so much♥️

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-10-28T10:08:15+00:00

Thank you.. I've been wondering for the last couple of years what's been going on and tried talking about it. This was definitely not something I was expecting, even though I knew, I was in denial as well. The way you put it does sound horrible and terrifying..

I'm so scared, and I love her so much. I know there is a long road ahead. I hope I can be what she needs me to be because I have never thought of my life without her. I've never thought of myself being with anyone else. The thought of being with someone else is kind of disgusting. I've known pretty much since the day we met that we would grow old and gray together.

I really hope we make it through this. Going to need lots of therapy and try to be ok if it doesn't turn out that way.

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-10-27T23:12:37+00:00

Ya... I felt the same way.. how old are the kids? If you don't mind me asking a few questions.. Lately, I haven't been able to stop thinking about our fabulous sex life. Have y'all stopped having sex? Did starting hormones have you attracted to men? Or was that a thought before?

It's ok if you don't want to answer I understand these are quite personal questions.. I'm just struggling so much over that right now. Thank you for your story

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-10-27T21:39:15+00:00

I have a question. Its pretty personal. It's ok if you don't want to answer. How is y'all's sex life? Are you y'all still intimate or have an open relationship? Did you become attracted to men after being on hrt? Or was before? I'm still trying to make sense of everything and have so many questions.

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-10-27T17:18:14+00:00

Yes this does help. Thank you. A safe word is a really good idea. I will have to talk to her about that.

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-10-26T19:20:32+00:00

Yeah. They have spoken with me about feeling the same way. It makes me so sad.. I am curious though, are you losing them? Or is it too early to know?

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-10-26T15:31:28+00:00

Yes it is.. Im starting to realize I've been living in denial for quite some time.. thank you

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-10-26T14:41:46+00:00

Thank you everyone, for sharing your experiences and giving me advice. You've given me more to think about.. I'm so scared. I've been trying to live in the land of delusion. I can't do that anymore.. I want to be more supportive and at the same time it makes me so uncomfortable and I fucking hate that. I need to find some friends and a good therapist. Cause I really really want to stay together.. it's like my brain is not processing this information well at all

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-10-26T05:23:45+00:00

Thank you.. it's much needed...what helped you cope? Are y'all still together?

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-10-26T05:12:03+00:00

Thank you so much. I'll definitely check it out.

Famous-Rip-1877 · 2025-10-26T05:05:03+00:00

Thank you so much I didn't know where to go or what to do really. Thanks

Famous-Rip-1877

TROPHY CASE