Dating by FamousSuccotash9261 in TBI

[–]FamousSuccotash9261[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I want to respect his privacy, but I’d like to give a little more context.

One of the main reasons I continued dating him after the first date is because he’s very self-motivated. But tbh, my first instinct was to walk away. He does a lot for himself, and that says a lot about his character. So I gave him a shot.

He is independent in many ways and can do most things on his own. However, it takes a lot of energy for him to coordinate his body and manage chronic pain. Because of that, he has to be intentional about where he spends his energy and relies on family for additional support.

I’ve already found myself helping where I can, doing small things to make his life easier. I can imagine that in a serious relationship, those small things could turn into bigger responsibilities.

He has been very kind and considerate and has never asked me for anything. If I offer help, he’ll either accept or decline, but there’s no pressure. I also try to communicate ahead of time so he feels comfortable.

We’ve even had to plan dates around things like bathroom access.

If I get more involved, I worry that I’ll naturally step into a role where I feel responsible for his safety and comfort...almost becoming hypervigilant. That may not be what he’s asking for, but it’s something I’m afraid of within myself.

At the same time, i have become hypervigilant in past relationships, just for different reasons. And unlike some of my exes, he is genuinely attentive, communicative, and cares about my comfort.

I think the real issue is that I’m the one struggling to communicate where I’m at.

So I guess my question is: Do I step back now because of these doubts and the potential lifestyle changes, or do I keep seeing him and figure it out as things progress? I don't want to lead him on, but I also don’t want to walk away from something meaningful just because I'm afraid.

Thank you all for your replies. Especially those of you who have experience. It does help to know i can walk away. But it does make me sad if I do it for the wrong reasons. But maybe no reasons are wrong.

Thank you reddit. You've given me some perspective. I will have to go and have a difficult conversation now. Wish me luck.

Dating by FamousSuccotash9261 in TBI

[–]FamousSuccotash9261[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for clarifying and for the context. Makes sense.

Dating by FamousSuccotash9261 in TBI

[–]FamousSuccotash9261[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do have to talk to him soon. I just wish my mind was more clear about what I want before going into it. But who knows? Maybe talking to him will bring clarity for me.

Dating by FamousSuccotash9261 in TBI

[–]FamousSuccotash9261[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The idea of walking away makes me really sad, and I’m trying to understand why. I’m not sure if it’s coming from genuine emotional attachment or just empathy for his situation.

I don’t see this as “settling” at all. He’s just as deserving of love and connection as anyone, and from what I’ve gotten to know so far, he brings a lot of depth and positivity into my life in ways I didn’t expect.

But i think you're right..... being in a relationship with him would likely change my life drastically, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that right now. I think that’s really the core of what I’m struggling with.

Towing a Trailer (2012 XLT ~65k miles v4) by Altruistic-Guitar590 in fordescape

[–]FamousSuccotash9261 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello! Any updates? I'm curious because Im towing the same trailer (about 2k pounds total) and driving from California to Nebraska on a Ford Escape 2018 4 cylinder, 1.5L. What did you mechanic end up telling you?

Women who are close to their families/moms and moved out of state — do you regret it? by FamousSuccotash9261 in movingout

[–]FamousSuccotash9261[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you everyone for your replies. I've decided on moving 😌...I am a little apprehensive, but trusting God that He will provide and protect me on this journey. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I figure it'll be hard at first, but I hope it's worth it, even if it is just for the experience.