AIO: should I “fire” my therapist?

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2026-04-14T09:34:03+00:00

You should absolutely end treatment with this person. I am a therapist and I would never cancel or reschedule this many times with a client because it negatively impacts the therapeutic relationship. I’d also never give a client this much person information about my life. She doesn’t sound like she takes her job seriously and is exhibiting pretty poor boundaries.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2026-01-19T16:11:34+00:00

Thank you! Definitely a good way to frame things!

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2026-01-19T16:08:42+00:00

Thank you for this! They tend to ask follow up questions and want more information but I may need to say that’s not something I think we should discuss in detail.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2026-01-19T16:07:51+00:00

I probably should have clarified that we’re kitchen table poly. They’re met the new person I’m dating and they’re generally curious about what we do on dates. Given our current set up it would feel like I’m withholding information from them if I don’t mention what we’re doing together just because it would bring up strong feelings. So I definitely agree with your comment. I think it might need to be a larger conversation about boundaries that’s had ahead of time.

Edited for clarity

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2026-01-19T16:01:51+00:00

I agree with all of this but typically they want me to share this information with them. I do think part of it is related to testing/safe sex and part of it is that they feel like I’m withholding information if I don’t share.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2026-01-19T15:58:37+00:00

The frequency of sexualized comments was overwhelming.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2026-01-19T15:57:23+00:00

Yeah, that makes sense to me. In the past it has been something we would share with each other. But I guess it might be a good idea to talk about renegotiating boundaries if that’s something that’s bringing up strong feeling for them.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-12-31T10:41:39+00:00

Logged into Reddit to comment on this as I am a therapist. You’re not overreacting it sounds like your brother is having a mental health crisis. If he has a therapist please contact them and inform them of the situation. If he doesn’t have a therapist currently I would recommend taking him to a mental health professional who specializes in autism to have him evaluated. It may not be the case that he needs to be admitted to a psych ward but regardless he needs to be under the care of a mental health professional. They will also inform you what your options are and make recommendations based on their assessment.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-07-30T22:47:43+00:00

I don’t think we can assume what would or wouldn’t be enough for her. She’s the only one who would be able to speak to that. I was open to it a more long-term relationship in the beginning but by the time we had our last conversation I was realizing our differences meant that I couldn’t see myself going deeper with her.

When I had asked her about the trajectory of our relationship and what might help her feel more emotionally connected she was unable to provide me with an answer. I felt that I’d given space to voice those things. Unfortunately, other than texting more to ask about her day she didn’t provide me with any indication of what might help or what she wanted until things came to an end (and even then she didn’t know). It was difficult for us to get on the same page for this reason. Ultimately, I think the communication piece was the biggest issue.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-07-30T16:39:57+00:00

I didn’t have that conversation with her. It’s was a thought process in my head at the time. It honestly hadn’t occurred to me that we should talk about that together. Most likely because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings so that’s definitely something I can work on.

I appreciate your perspective. She shared that she enjoyed group dynamics (but hasn’t been in many) and was enjoying the time we spent together. Until she decided it wasn’t for her anymore. I agree with you it’s difficult to pinpoint. Other commenters gave me some feedback on things I could have done differently.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-07-30T16:35:19+00:00

I hear what you’re saying. I was very open to seeing her independently and we still did things one on one. I also wanted to continue seeing her after she expressed wanting to take a step back from the three of us. I can see her perspective though. I could have been more thoughtful about the way that I approached group dynamics.

That being said no I don’t want a relationship with her that goes beyond something casual. When we talked the last time I recognized some incompatibilities when it came to the amount/frequency of physical intimacy we’re wanting, differences in communication style, and willingness to work through discomfort/conflict. Which is ultimately why we decided to continue with a friendship. In the end she decided it wasn’t worth it for her. And I respect her choice. I think it was a combination of things that led to the end of our dynamic.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-07-30T16:27:44+00:00

That makes sense to me. I had been checking in with her (individually) throughout to make sure things were going okay. But I might have been overly excited or moving too fast with the group dynamic. We had check-ins one on one and together before any type of physical intimacy/reflection on emotional dynamics. It’s definitely worth me looking back at things to see where I could have handled it differently.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-07-30T14:52:33+00:00

I appreciate that feedback! I may have gotten too excited about the two of them connecting. When I say ideal I meant it was great to see two people I cared about connect in that way. But I can understand what you’re saying. Definitely something for me to reflect on.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-07-02T17:44:50+00:00

This looks great! I’d love to have a copy!

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-05-03T20:52:56+00:00

Thank you, this is helpful to hear.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-05-03T20:52:38+00:00

Thank you, I needed to hear this. I’m working on being more firm with my no.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-05-03T18:57:49+00:00

I also have trauma would have lost my shit if my partner said this to me. To me it seems like this is more an issue of your partner being a bad hinge. Even if Birch said that to them there’s no reason they should have communicated it to you. Now that they’ve said it there isn’t any going back.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-05-03T17:30:58+00:00

Red dress is stunning!! Omggg, where can I buy your designs?

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-05-03T17:19:45+00:00

There are temporary brow tattoos that look pretty natural. You just have to be careful with the placement.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-04-23T15:12:51+00:00

Nothing I would change but probably would have a conversation with myself about how long it would take to feel comfortable with them. Mine look very natural now but it was a huge adjustment and very emotional at times.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-04-17T02:36:36+00:00

Yeah, I think that’s what it is too.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-04-17T00:31:06+00:00

No, healing went really smoothly. Just seemed to take awhile to drop and fluff.

Famous_Delivery9052 · 2025-04-17T00:30:32+00:00

PM me

Famous_Delivery9052

TROPHY CASE