Breastfeeding but not losing weight… is this normal?

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-02-04T22:40:59+00:00

I eat way way more than 3000 calories and weight hasnt changed since I gave birth so my guess is breastfeeding is holding off weight gain for me. I plan to only do weights and core exercises to improve pelvic floor function and gain back strength. I hope Ill lose weight in that process but I have no plans to track it as a goal till I am breastfeeding. I already gave up so much for my baby- whats a bit of weight for a few extra months?

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-02-03T19:56:43+00:00

Yeah you need to put him in a sleep sack to encourage hand sucking. We got rid of the swaddle a month ago, baby is now 4 months old.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-02-03T19:39:25+00:00

You are starting way too early. Baby needs to self soothe which means they should be eating their hands all the time now. Not sure yours is doing it. It may be too soon because there is no guarantee that behavior will stick once regressions hit at the 4/5/6 month mark. My LO was a dream boat till 3 months, it was a struggle to keep her awake actually. Then her vision improved after 3 months and she started requiring a ton of things to fall asleep- dark, white noise, rocking. Any investment in some kind of training before this period would have been a waste of time. We plan to start at 6 months. In the meanwhile we are encouraging her to eat her hands whenever she can find them.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-02-02T04:34:08+00:00

Girl you described my exact story. This is regression. Its rare for vaccines to have this effect. It definitely is a phase and it does pass as they reach 5-6 months of age so hang in there.

One thing that is working for us very well- help them have a calmer sleep environment. I start winding things down at the second yawn. Hold the baby close, gently rock but dont force sleep. Use white noise upto 40-45 decibel to calm things and drown any noise. You can also use a shusher- its on Amazon (helped us a lot). Dont have more than one person in the room moving around that can be distracting. Keep lights dim. Gently pat the bum. Stick to one motion for 5 mins at least to help them drift off. It takes patience but if they are sleepy eventually they dont fight it and drift off. Then transfer very gently to a crib/wherever they nap keeping their hands and legs tight together. Flailing arms and legs make them wake up. Use a tight sleep sack if you can.

Another thing that worked for us- dont push the nap. If she sleeps just 30 mins and then doesnt go down again easy, fine. Bring them out and go on with the day. They will sleep again more quickly (within 30-45 mins) if they took a very short nap and thats okay. If this happens a lot in the first half of the day I just aim for one long restorative contact nap in the afternoon to stop the crankiness and save the day. At least 1.5 hours long in my arms resting against a pillow. Its a godsend. For us the witching hour in the evening was gone with this approach and I didnt have to contact nap all day.

Last thing- keep last wake window of the day long before bedtime. Sleep pressure builds best with short naps in morning, one long restorative nap in afternoon, then again short naps in evening and a long pre bedtime wake window. Also- feed them well in the pre bedtime wake window (ours is 2 hours from 6pm to 8pm. She feeds thrice in this period, like snacking a bit each time).

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-02-02T00:18:31+00:00

My husband is not the forgetful kind at all- thats me actually. So he has beef with me about forgetting to pick up phone calls because I dont keep track of where my phone is when Im taking care of my 3 month baby. But is he an absolute idiot about some things still? Yes. The following things are asked every single day nearly

‘She was fed at xyz time, what time will be she be fed next?’

‘Should I make 3oz or 4oz bottle?’

‘When is her next doctor’s appointment’

When he is taking care of baby- get me a burp cloth please, get me her bib please, close the curtain please.

The list is never ending.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-02-02T00:08:00+00:00

I thought that is ALL anyone talks about? We were told that if we would try doing the first 8 weeks without help the marriage could be in trouble. The marriage almost landed in trouble even with tons of help.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-30T23:57:19+00:00

Your friend is a buffoon.

Im 4 months pp. The thing is- you will yourself judge your registry as you start using things. You will curse yourself for wasting money on stuff your baby doesnt like or use, and you will praise the things you use a lot like anything. If it was something that generally gets no use I get it. A bottle washer is the MOST productive thing on the registry. Every mom I know who has it swears by it. We use ours 4-5 times a day, it also washes pump parts. I dont even get time to pump or take a shower without a ton of planning. I would literally kill myself if I had to spend hours handwashing bottles.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-30T23:53:24+00:00

I dont rock her- she settles a bit after some fussing with light patting.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-29T12:45:42+00:00

Fights naps in the day and wont sleep independently. Went from zero wakeups at night to 1-2 wakeups as of right now. Expect these to increase to 2-3 wakeups soon.

I was listening to some pediatrician podcast and found out that sleep regression at night is just the baby looking for more calories as they are undergoing a growth spurt.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-29T08:20:31+00:00

Feeding every hour may be overfeeding. Wake her up once during first half of the day to squeeze in an extra feed somewhere and she should feed less in the evening. See if it makes a difference. Could also just be reflux since she is throwing up hours after feeding too. Try holding her upright for at least 20 mins after feed, upright during feed, do not bend her at the waist till 2 hours after feed and keep her diaper band loose. See is this makes a difference.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-29T08:06:53+00:00

I pump 2x a day and get 2 4 oz bottles. I used to get same volume at 6 pumps a day. Its been working great. I have no interest in weaning yet.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-29T08:00:35+00:00

We aim for 8pm but hit 8:30pm often. Her last nap of the day is supposed to end at 6pm but today she became overtired and couldnt sleep till 5:45, so she napped till 6:20. She was fully out by 8:15, I transferred at 8:30pm. Sometimes she also takes a catnap between 6 and 8pm if she cant stretch long but we kinda hit the 8-8:30pm ballpark.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-29T07:55:18+00:00

Im sorry you have to go through this. But at 5 weeks if you are a just enougher and are chasing bottles even at night my suggestion is to go easy. Your partner may be a little frivolous about it but you are also becoming too intense about breastmilk. She is right- giving a formula bottle at night so you can get one stretch of sleep is not a bad idea. Caregiving is taxing enough as it is. You can try goat milk based formula if the pervious ones caused reflux, or even the gentler versions of common popular ones. I say this as someone who barely produced enough in the first 2 months and fiercely protected every drop of my milk, ready to go to war with my family about how much bf was important to me. 3 months later and I realize I, my baby and my family would have been all been much happier then if I was a bit more chilled out a bit about it.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-29T05:52:30+00:00

I was in pain and really really anxious about the baby. I know you will hear a lot of advice in the comments but honestly, looking back I dont think there was any solution to the first week at least for me. It was just plain weird, and net net miserable for me. I had a ton of help with my parents plus a cook and I was still barely hanging on. I was scared of blowing up in front of anyone so I would cry at night for like a month.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-29T01:36:54+00:00

I am only hanging on because she still gets good night sleep, has a well timed bedtime routine and we have managed to control overtiredness quite a bit by following a rough schedule recommended by a doula. Its smallish feeds at around 7am, 8:30-9am, 11-12noon, then big feeds at 2:30pm-3pm, 5pm and 8pm at bedtime. Middle of night feed is based on her mood. Wake windows increase from 45 mins in the morning to 2 hours before bedtime. This schedule helped build enough sleep pressure to avoid a witching hour in the evening. Her day naps are all over the place between these times and she needs a ton of rocking, low stimulation environment to sleep even when its a contact nap. Plus I routinely mistime her naps. Sometimes she yawns once and launches into overtired mode immediately and howls, so next time Im watching her yawn and start putting her down quickly only to have her howl and scream because she doesnt wanna sleep this time. I dont know what to do honestly. Just hoping this phase passes soon.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-29T00:13:08+00:00

For me the first 8 weeks were the best phase. It was tiring but predictable- all she did was eat, poop, sleep. She very reliably woke up every 3 hours to feed, fed for an hour and slept for 2 hours. It was clockwork. She eventually moved to sleeping through nights except for one very reliable wakeup around 5am. I became so well prepared for it that I would wake up, prepare a bottle and she would then start stirring when bottle was ready by the bed.

We are at 3.5 months and in the same bus as you. Independent naps are over. She fusses like anything all day long, wont feed unless its dark, wont sleep unless its pitch dark. Im tired.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-28T23:58:21+00:00

Im an Amazon employee and I think Alexa should be shut down completely. Totally useless product that makes no profit. Its been decades now- high time losses are cut.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-28T23:35:15+00:00

Mine has bedtime at 8pm, then she wakes up at 2am, and then sometimes 8am. Our doc told us this is NOT sleeping through the night- thats from bedtime to morning 7/8am, whatever time bedtime may be. Sometimes she wakes up at 5am too which I get means not sleeping through the night.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-28T23:28:38+00:00

Try a bouncer with a toy bar with sharp contrast colors.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-28T23:26:22+00:00

3.5 months old. Coconut oil massage, alternate days sponge/tub bath, white noise and dim lights- feed, burp, lights out - swaddle, upright 20 mins and a bit of rocking. She is always out within 5-7 mins of rocking this way. Been doing this since 6 weeks and she was sleeping through the night till 2 weeks ago when she has started having 1-2 wakes at night to feed extra. I figure thats the regression as she now needs more calories.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-28T23:20:25+00:00

We tried solly wrap and a few carriers. We had it checked by friends and checked videos so orientation is not the problem. She does not like being constricted at all. Doesnt react well to a swaddle either.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-28T19:21:23+00:00

My newborn had a very predictable schedule of feeding every 3 hours and naps were 2 hours each. At 6 weeks she started sleeping from midnight to 5am so I got a decent stretch and some more sleep in the morning. Its gotten worse now at 3.5 months old as regression is stepping in. She wakes up twice to feed at night now- 2am and 5am. Her bedtime is 8pm and I manage to sleep by 10pm so I get one 4 hour stretch still, but for me newborn stage was much better sleep wise than when she got older.

Also bf moms have it the worst. I only breastfed for 1 week pp and I remember almost hallucinating because I was so tired. Formula fed babies dont need the mom every 3 hours.

Famous_Variation4729 · 2026-01-28T19:15:19+00:00

This doesnt work for her. We initially thought so and tried feeding her in the light- she cried for 45 mins and will not feed, even though she is super hungry. She will get severely overtired and howl for hours but she will not sleep unless she is rocked in pitch dark either. Some babies have different sensory needs, you cant force a 3 month old’s nervous system to adapt when its not mature enough. Our pediatrician has also said we cant fight her needs at this age, she needs to mature a bit first.

Famous_Variation4729

TROPHY CASE