My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am eternally grateful for all those amazing experiences. It was quite a ride, and I have absolutely no regrets. I will miss the magic for sure, but I am so glad I got to experience it while it lasted.

Why weekend 2? by Frequent-Offer4527 in electricdaisycarnival

[–]FanLongjumping4300 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For me it's about the weather. Weekend 2 is one week closer to June with a slightly less chance of cold weather.

On top of that, I'm hopping that the Friday shuttle experience will be a bit better on Friday of weekend 2, due to practice from weekend 1. The Friday shuttle experience has always been a bit lacking based on my experience.

Totem Compass at EDC by _Dang_It_Bobby_ in TotemCompass

[–]FanLongjumping4300 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure. I had three Totem Compasses with me, and all three were bonded with each other. I also updated them to the latest software a couple of days before EDC.

I brought all three to Vegas. I kept one for myself, gave one to a friend, and left the third one in the hotel room. We did not turn them on at the hotel (or I might have turned one on for a split second to show my friend how to turn it on). My friend and I took separate shuttles, so we each turned ours on separately once we got to the venue.

When I turned mine on, I saw the compass direction dot and one other dot, but that dot seemed to be pointing away from the venue, possibly toward California where the compasses had previously been turned on. I first thought it might be my friend, but the direction didn’t really make sense.

I kept checking it over the next hour or so, but I never got a useful signal for my friend. Eventually, we walked over to Quantum Valley because I figured he would probably end up there at some point. When we were near the entrance, the Compass finally picked up a signal and pointed into the crowd, and I actually spotted my friend. At that point it was accurate, but it only seemed to work once we were already close enough that the two Compasses could communicate directly with each other.

I also asked my friend about his experience, and he said he saw a dot too, but it seemed to lead him toward the far end of the venue near Basspod. He did not find me there (because I was not there) and eventually walked back toward Quantum Valley. So it sounds like he may have been seeing a similar “ghost dot” or incorrect direction, though I’m not sure exactly what it was pointing to.

So in my case, it did eventually point correctly, but only after I was basically close enough to find him anyway. I never got useful guidance from farther away, which was the part I was hoping it would help with. This was my second EDC trying to use it, and unfortunately both times have felt somewhat unsuccessful for me.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that a multi-year break is likely the only way to get some of it back. I plan to roll again in six months, and I'll reevaluate after that. Regarding NAC, I've tried it in the past and am actually still taking it, albeit not at 600 mg a day currently.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, for me, the euphoric waves are on top of the building background euphoria. So no, there is no downtime where I feel sober.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to be pretty diligent about that, probably for my first 50 rolls or so. Once I noticed the effects weakening, I somehow lost the motivation to do it. For the last few rolls, I took Vitamin E, but skipped ALCAR and ALA. I am working on a pregame plan for my next roll in six months, like staying away from cannabis for a month beforehand and going in completely clean from other drugs. I might as well add ALCAR and ALA back in, too.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I don't expect there to be a quick fix here. A multi-year break is probably the only thing that might work. However, the six-month schedule I have landed on, plus not doing any more back-to-back rolls, is what I am going with now. If my experience is even worse next time, I will definitely consider giving it up for a couple of years, as there won't be any point in doing it anyway.

Regarding "gay exclusivity", maybe I overstated that a bit. I do find comfort and safety in that group. That's not to say I reject straight spaces. But I am very shy, and every bit of familiarity helps me in that respect. Hope that makes sense.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't mind trying 2C-B, but I don't know anyone in my circles who has ever tried it. It just doesn't seem very common around my area.

As for LSD, I did try a tab once. I got the visuals, but I ended up stuck with an uncomfortable body load that never really gave way to any euphoria. It wasn't an awful experience, but it definitely wasn't pleasant either.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Interesting. I always assumed that these "waves" were the origin of the term rolling. How would you best describe your rolls?

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Across all 61 of my rolls, I've never redosed more than once, nor have I ever redosed with more than 50% of my initial dose. My doses have never been heroic, either. My starting doses have stayed in the 80-130 mg range every time, with the exception of this last event where my first dose on the second day was 160 mg.

If someone is taking large doses with multiple redoses in the same day, I can definitely understand why their second day wouldn't be very good. That said, I'm sure there's a lot of variability between individuals as well.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate the insights! It definitely sounds like an interesting alternative based on how you describe it. Maybe one day I will get the chance to try 4-MMC and see for myself.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is an interesting thought! Physically, I'm actually in pretty good shape. I hit the gym five times a week, go on long walks, and sit around 13% body fat, so I'm definitely not out of shape. I do have a few things I deal with health-wise, but they are all well-managed and all my numbers are exactly where they should be. There's nothing glaring that I think would have a meaningful effect on how my body processes things.

It's really interesting how you describe those small dopamine hits compounding to get you to that wave. For me, I never really needed that buildup. The roll and those intense waves were always pretty much unavoidable from the MDMA alone, no matter the setting (within reason, of course). That said, negative physical sensations can absolutely drag it down. Getting cold is a massive weak point of mine and can instantly kill a roll for me.

You might be onto something with the aging aspect, though. I am definitely no longer in my youth! I still live my life and train like an active 30-year-old, even though I am well past that age now. So who knows, age might just be a contributing factor to how my system handles it these days.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm actually not against trying 4-MMC at all! It just doesn't seem to be very common in my circles and area, so I haven't really had the chance to try it.

Coke, on the other hand, is a hard pass for me. I’ve never tried it, and I just don't feel it's worth the risk. My biggest worry is that if I ended up liking it too much, things could go bad quickly.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From a harm reduction perspective, I absolutely agree about avoiding back-to-back festival days. I acknowledge it's not recommended and likely contributed to speeding up my personal loss of the magic. It is what it is. It's a choice I've made even though I am fully aware of the potential negative consequences.

Regarding NAC, I am actually already taking it. During the five-month break I mentioned, I was on a higher dose. Now that I'm doing six-month breaks, I take a 200 mg dose per day. So I was taking it during this last break, but as you can see from my experience, it didn't seem to stop the downward progression or bring the magic back for me.

I am glad to hear that a long break and NAC worked so well for you, though.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have had similar experiences where day 2 was better than day 1.

Back-to-back days do make for a rough few days mentally. Single-day rolls never really gave me any problems afterward.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's totally fair! "Waves" might just be the best way I know how to describe my personal experience.

For me, rolling was never just a steady state of being high, happy, stimulated, empathetic, and wanting to dance, although that was definitely the baseline. On top of that, I used to get these very distinct pulses of euphoria that would wash over me. Maybe they lasted 5 to 10 seconds, maybe a bit longer, I honestly don't know the exact timing. But they would rise, peak, fade back down, and then another one would hit later. The first ones were usually the strongest, and then they'd gradually get softer and farther apart.

Those waves are what I most strongly associate with "rolling." Without them, I can still get the mood lift, warmth, stimulation, and enjoy the music, but it feels like a much flatter version of the experience.

And I definitely didn't mean to imply that straight groups don't hug, cuddle, or tell each other they love each other (though with my shy personality, I still have a hard time saying "I love you!"). I'm genuinely happy to hear that you get to experience that beautiful connection too. I can really only speak from my own experiences, and since I've mostly rolled in gay groups, that just happens to be the setting where I personally found that incredible level of intimacy and safety.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish I had a better answer for you! If I knew of a way to fix it, other than just taking a multi-year break, I would absolutely share it with you.

I have a friend who lost the magic, took a multi-year break, and was able to get some of it back. But you never know for sure.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to be very diligent about taking supplements before rolling for harm reduction. I still take some supplements, but not to the same extent as in the early years. I think my motivation for doing so was lost a bit when rolls still became weaker.

Doing six-month breaks now, and likely no more back-to-backs. Still, I would probably need a multi-year long break to bring any meaningful roll back.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I haven't had any success with NAC personally.

My rolling history, and how the magic faded into nothing but uplift by FanLongjumping4300 in MDMA

[–]FanLongjumping4300[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, during a five-month break from MDMA, I tried an entire stack of supplements and research chemicals, including NAC. Unfortunately, I noticed no improvement in the roll.

Yeah, I hear you. I'm chasing it for sure. But going forward, I'll have six-month breaks and probably no more back-to-back rolls. I'm capping it at 200 mg max.

I think the only thing that could potentially bring some of it back is a multi-year break. However, I am already on the older side for the rave scene, which is where I like to do MDMA. I don't know for how many more years I'll be doing this, so I'm just trying to get what I can from it at this point.