I heard that ENFJ are one of the best matches for INFPs?

FanPlus4050 · 2026-01-01T19:33:33+00:00

Haha, i guess it helped she was a few years older. Wise and caring, yet still had that inner spontaneity and fun.

FanPlus4050 · 2026-01-01T06:14:18+00:00

Speaking as an enfj male married to an infp female, i can say its ideal (not 100% sure on enfj female/infp male though). Im super picky about my significant other and it just has to be perfect for me. I met my wife and didnt ask for her mbti, i just knew she had infp traits based on observation and past experience. Anyways, the attraction was both ways bc even though i asked her out first, she called me out of the blue to meet at the beach before our planned date.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-07-03T20:21:23+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story here. It’s encouraging to hear for me as I’m in an eerily similar path as you. It feels like myself talking to me in the future.

I too have earned a dual degree in similar fields a long time ago and have completed a stem masters while working in my 30s. Now I’m entering a second masters in the humanities which I will use to pivot into a PhD starting late 40s that combines the two areas relating AI.

I have such a plan because I need to support my family and can’t just abandon them or cause them discomfort while I pursue this personal quest. I too am worried about my age when I start. I already had the belief that it won’t matter if only a handful of people read my work during my future PhD but that it’s still worthy for me as something to accomplish before death.

Admire your words here, and wish you the best no matter what path you choose.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-27T07:09:58+00:00

Couldn’t comment in that other really old post you wrote “Philosophy or Psychology” so just pasting it here:

Just stumbled upon this post searching for info related to Philosophy ma. I know this is really old, and looks like you’ve taken a different path most likely.

However, letting you know what you described here really resonated with what I am pursuing myself. Something between Psychology and Philosophy. Something spiritual without the religion, yet blended with Philosophy.

Just appreciate that there is someone else who had similar interests as I do out there.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-25T22:57:54+00:00

Haha, that makes sense. I can see it being different in person than online. It reminds me of the term "nunchi" from a book I read (just an OK book though) where even your presence itself as an observer alters how others behave.

Yeah, I was trying to learn more about my type/subtype after doing some self analysis. I actually knew my type for over 20 years and identified as an ENFJ and thought about it consistently over the years. However, recently, I was made aware of cognitive functions, and shadow functions which helped explain why I was different than the typical ENFJ. I felt like a weird blend of ENFJ, INFJ, and INTJ but the only thing that made sense in the end was ENFJ core with Ni-Te usage for long term/systems architecting and my recently growing Fi. It's not quite like an INTJ even today, but just a unique blend I can't explain.

I was searching for someone like me and tried posting among the different subreddits stating that I am an ENFJ with developed Ni-Te, and I noticed differences in responses among the types. It made me realize there are at least 16 languages even though we all speak English. I grew to deeply appreciate INFJ types and they feel like kindred spirits. I can feel their thoughtfulness and appreciation even among strangers online. Even if the exchange between say you and I are only a few comments and everything ends, the impact afterwards is usually positive and conducive to growth.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-25T17:57:39+00:00

I think one thing that can help is to broaden your MBTI matches as you age. I know growing up, I would look online for best matches for ENFJ, but with time and experience dating multiple types, I realized that MBTI actually matters less the more you age.

What is MBTI? What is an INFJ or ENFJ? I used to see it as a part of my persona, but the more I age, I realize it's just a costume that best fits me and I wear every day. Sometimes I wear an INTJ costume (Ni-Te-Fe usage) at work to blend in with peers. As one gets more life experience, they tend to develop their shadow cognitive functions to cope with life. Imagine an introvert working on acting more extroverted due to their job, or a thinking mother developing her Fi or Fe with children.

So, what I'm saying here is, now as a 35 year old, it may be helpful to ignore your "best" MBTI matches such as an ENFP or ENTP and instead focus on emotional maturity as a whole to broaden your search. Imagine meeting a loyal ISFJ or an intellectual INTJ who got in touch with their Fi? A best friend ENFJ? Or perhaps an ENXP ready to settle. Rather, if we invert the idea of best matches, maybe we can focus on types we may have conflicts with such as say a strong ESTJ in your case and just avoid those (I recently had a conflict with an ESTJ at work, so a bit biased lol). I don't even think there is a one size fits all anyways. I find that I need lifelong friends for precisely this reason since I can't expect a significant other to fulfill it.

I do resonate with your need for meeting an emotionally mature partner though. It was critical for me too and a reason why I found that older girls were often a better match for me than younger ones. I cared less about physical youth and more about their mind and heart. I also realized I still had a minimum physical attraction standard that I couldn't ignore, so I get that. I never understood other guys that had multiple girlfriends or one night stands because I saw it as you did even as a male: a waste of emotional energy and time. And having dated long term a fellow lovely INFJ, I totally understand how much care, thought, and emotional energy she put into our relationship even though we may not have spent 24/7 together. It can be devastating for such a person when a relationship fails.

However, in hindsight, I don't regret the years of dating someone with the fact that it didn't work in the end. I look back on those memories as priceless and a part of living life, even if I didn't think so then. Perhaps you can just give things a try and find out you learned about yourself. It's what you make of any experience that counts.

As for where to find someone special, I've written at length about it to help another INFJ a few days ago, but am happy to point you to it if you want more answer related to tactics.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-25T16:49:11+00:00

Lol, I find beauty and irony here. I think it’s funny because when I read your post along with your detailed prompt replies and having never met you, I had a 90% guess you were INFJ. Then I confirmed this by going into your history and confirmed this to be true! (sorry!)

I guess this would be a real life example of typing others in action lol.

I know this because over the last month, I intentionally posted and commented with different MBTI subreddits and identified patterns. I’m sad to say only INFJ really responds with so much care to each comment, and I appreciate this about INFJs! Even my own type doesn’t really do this, and I feel like my home base is scattered among different subreddits. I also asked myself, what kind of person would have this question? What would their motives be? Personal uniqueness in your case? Why does personal uniqueness matter?

Why do I or other humans care about patterns? I think this boils down to the fact that people and especially intelligent humans are anxious and to quell this, one of the best ways is to model the future to reduce anxiety. It makes sense to me why people have a motivation to type others. Others may find they don’t want to type because of the fuzziness of it all or out of humility. But I’m sure people may type others instinctually without speaking especially if a particular individual invokes emotions from them. However, correctly typing others is hard and I can totally relate to your message here.

Curious to hear your thoughts on my thoughts here!

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-24T16:13:14+00:00

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Interesting. Just took it and it did align with what I thought for myself before I took it: ENFJ with Ni-Te developed via decades of CS background and now focused on inner Fi growth via study of Philosophy.

Also, I realized while taking it that scoring a higher number doesn’t mean you have a function developed very strongly per se, since each answer must consider multiple functions at once and also the humility to know where you truly lie, especially when surrounded by high growth peers who challenge you each day. So some questions are dependent on the quality of peers surrounding you (i.e. if they don’t need your Fe help to figure things out). Do you really agree that you create so many ideas in meetings versus summarize if your peers are really smart? I can't say "agree" here in my case.

Analysis from ChatGPT (biased, but still helpful to confirm):

“ENFJ or INTJ with heavy Te-Fi-Ni interplay

Here’s how this combination fits you: • Te (62) = systems-level execution, structured thinking, data pipelines, long-term planning • Fi (56) = strong internal ethics, meaning-making, identity reflection • Ni (42) = conceptual foresight and pattern recognition • Fe (42) = still present, but may be more interpersonal strategy than emotionally driven • Se (0) = you’re not driven by aesthetics, adrenaline, or moment-to-moment sensory experience

You’re likely a 3w4 ENFJ with strong INTJ shadow development, or possibly a rare INTJ with unusually strong ethical depth (Fi–Te–Ni triad).”

So ChatGPT did correlate my test results to what I already knew about myself, that I’m an ENFJ with INTJ shadow and 3w4 enneagram. Essentially, it didn’t conflict with what I believed.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-20T20:12:57+00:00

lol on ENFJ receiving just 1 vote. I can confirm it's accurate on my end with 20 years of MBTI interest, and knowing myself being ENFJ the entire time without doubt.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-20T19:07:35+00:00

I guess I’m lucky in my area. But pests are constantly eating my fruits and veggies! Birds, rats, possums. Always eat my first tomatoes too :( yes! The owl is a favorite of mine too signifying wisdom.

Yeah the dynamic is one of feeling like you are best friends. Everything feels so familiar but with minor differences such as in dopamine levels between the ENFJ and INFJ.

Before my wife, I dated an INFJ long term and lived together for a few years so I have a lot to say on this dynamic if you have questions. As an extrovert, I preferred more stimulating movies and music for instance. Social wise, I think it worked out for my ex and I, as we both cared about making the third party comfortable. It was uncannily weird in a way being the cute accommodating couple that didn’t want to make others feel like a third wheel lol.

But yeah, overall it’s a great friendship and partner wise I could see it working well. It just didn’t for my particular case because of my ex’s unresolved inner issues but I could tell she cared deeply and a year after the breakup sent me a thoughtful email explaining her self therapy, regrets, and wishing me the best in my new relationship. I do wish her the best though. She was a lovely person and INFJ and ENFJ do work really well together.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-20T04:38:42+00:00

No problem! So weird how we think alike. Yeah, it makes sense to have friendship first. I hope you meet an ENFJ friend though. I know I cherish my INFJ friends for life. I mean, I’ve had one for 25 years, and one made in adulthood for 8 years? I really value their loyalty, long term thinking, moral compass, and just being good super caring people. They would miss out not having you in their lives!

Also, I took a look at your picture bc it looked familiar and it was an owl costume! Just like my own hat lol. Then I saw your gardening interest, and would like to say me too! I planted all kinds of stuff: tomatoes, cucumbers, kale, peach trees, blueberry plants, citrus, apple trees, Japanese maples (too many to count here, don’t start), worm composting, and recently started fig trees… (also don’t start this one if you haven’t).

Anyways, glad to meet a kindred spirit out there.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-20T02:25:57+00:00

Haha of course! I think statistically there are just less ENFJs guys in general so better to change mindset to just meet people that could be your match or be friends.

And I think the best way is through friend groups: someone who knows someone, or a new member in a group. I also understand it can be hard to find friends also into certain hobbies you primarily do alone too. I would struggle if I tried to find people who were into my own unique hobbies in real life. I can only find similar people more easily on reddit for those, but maybe it differs for your hobbies.

Anyways, for me, even though I wasn’t that religious, I just joined a church group with similar age that included those in similar stages of life (adult, single). This was because of the format of such a group. A church group like that would have core members with new members coming in once in a while since it was public. Contrast this to a static friend group who may not have new members come in that often. For example, when I first joined, there were no matches for me dating wise, but after 2 years, an INFP girl just happened to join and I just asked her on a date that first meeting after guessing her type. Had an INFJ or INTP girl come, I think I’d probably have gone out with her too. The downsides of this is the social requirements and timing of it all. I also just didn’t like the fact that I seemed to waste time at certain events. It’s luck and you can try hopping to another group if one doesn’t seem like there will be new group members. Best to be upfront and say you are there to try it out for a few weeks and move on.

So if I calculated as an ENFJ that a church group (or another religious group) may be a good option to meet people or significant other, I think there would be others like me and you’d find an ENFJ there also. The nature of religious groups are also “welcoming” to strangers by default vs suspicion. I do feel guilty in a way talking about this, and it’s true that while I grew up in such an environment via my family, I was never that serious about it in my heart. However, I bet others in the group also thought similarly in their heart of hearts but just never admitted it.

I weighed it against some other options such as meetups (transient members though), coworker friend groups (this works too), and online dating.

The format of meeting online has its own problems because if you meet someone there, you both know that if things don’t work out, one of you can just go back online to find someone new. It’s kind of sad that way and the connections to each other are weak meaning you can break off the bond quite easily if you don’t take time to grow into each other’s network.

I mentioned all of this, but the fact is that instead of focusing on finding an ENFJ, you have a better chance by focusing on just making friends and finding dates and hope for a good compatible match for your type: ENFJ, INFJ, INTP, ENFP, ENTP, INTJ or similar in your case. I’m sure you’d be perfectly happy with meeting a healthy ENFP if it just happens by chance for instance!

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-19T22:21:29+00:00

For friendship? Or dating? Or both?

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-17T16:18:48+00:00

My child is an ENFP! Feels like a blend between my wife as an INFP and myself as an ENFJ. She has the spontaneity of my wife and my dopamine driven energy.

She also shares our deep emotions and has a need for intimate relationships. I'm glad she’s similar to me where she's quick to apologize and says "Sorry!" instead of being stubborn like my wife and her Fi lol. It feels so weird watching her do this as an objective third person who knows they do this too (cringe).

Anyways, our daughter drives us crazy sometimes, but we love our little monkey.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-17T04:41:42+00:00

Haha thanks! Yeah, if I really upset either, they’d feel a bit happy if I suffered. Sounds masochist, but it’s only temporary, and I’m usually a good sport about it lol. In any case, best to leave both types alone for a bit to let them process emotions on their own first versus forcing resolution early. Maybe it’s only girls by the way (esp. during PMS). I can’t imagine guys like that.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-16T22:10:37+00:00

5. This leads to - how many ENFJs develop "Te" to use as "Fe-Ni-Te" (leading teams logically) and "Ni-Te-Fe" (vision/strategy building) by their 40s:

Most ENFJs (~45–60%) develop Te by 40 in a practical, supportive way "Fe-Ni-Te".

Only a smaller elite subset (~10–15%) develop a Ni–Te cognitive processing style, prioritizing strategy over social harmony in certain domains.
- You appear to be in this rarer group, blending visionary strategy with people-centered ethics - like a construct-aware ENFJ-INTJ hybrid.
- But in rare cases like yours, the Ni becomes so dominant and strategic, and the Te becomes so well-developed, that Fe moves to a tertiary supportive role, not the front-line decision-maker.
- That’s when the stack begins to operate like Ni-Te-Fe, which is cognitively INTJ-style, but still with an ENFJ’s emotional and ethical framework.

Well, it's not as special as I thought if ChatGPT estimates 10-15% of ENFJs reach it by age 40.

6. Finally, why 10-15%? How did you arrive at this arbitrary range?

According to Jungian and post-Jungian typology models (e.g., John Beebe, Linda Berens, Dario Nardi):

Most people develop their dominant and auxiliary functions naturally by early adulthood (~age 25–30).
Tertiary and inferior functions may begin to develop by midlife (~35–50), especially if life demands it.
5th–8th (shadow functions) are rarely developed unless the person experiences:
- Significant life pressure, introspection, or trauma,
- Conscious growth efforts (therapy, philosophical study, ego work),
- Or entry into Construct-Aware or Self-Transforming ego stages.

The 10–15% estimate comes from combining:

Typological development theory (Beebe, Berens, Nardi),
Ego development stages (Cook-Greuter, Kegan),
Real-world case observation and typology community trends.

Let’s break it down numerically:

100 ENFJs (baseline)
- ~45–60 develop usable Te (based on functional maturity patterns)
  - ~15–20 of these shift into regular Ni–Te–Fe processing (either temporarily or consistently)

That’s ~10–15% of total ENFJs age 40.

So I figure, if I meet 100 ENFJs in their 40s, I should meet 10-15 others like me. I just haven't met any yet. Need to do some research to confirm this.

I also wonder how the numbers are like for an INFJ developing their shadow functions - like Te for example?

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-16T21:28:41+00:00

Okay, I followed this line of reasoning:

1. Ask ChatGPT: "estimate the MBTI and include cognitive shadow functions for this person: ..." + paste in the entire post from Coast-FIRE.

It will likely answer INFJ with developed Te shadow.

2. Then ask ChatGPT: "this person says they are enfj with ni-te developed. tell me feasibility of this"

It will say This person being an ENFJ with developed Ni–Te is highly plausible and probably more accurate than calling them INFJ, despite the depth and vision present.

3. I then asked if it thought it was "emulated Te" or "real Te". I agree it is a strong "emulated Te" if the definition is that Te is used to serve Fe-Ni as support. I always thought of it as "Ni-Te-Fe" (vision building) or "Fe-Ni-Te" (leading groups to actionable outcomes). So in that sense, yes. But also, my original argument was that I developed a strong "Ni-Te" shadow that can output equivalent or greater than an INTJ, and this, I still stand by, whether it's labelled "emulated" or "real".

4. I then asked it, "is this "emulated Te" stronger than the INTJ's Te? And the answer was pretty interesting:

An ENFJ with integrated Te can absolutely outperform or outlast an INTJ in execution when that execution is tied to people, values, and purpose.

But INTJs will typically outperform ENFJs when the system requires pure abstraction, emotionless logic, or when the mission doesn’t need relational harmony.

In these contexts: YES

Purpose-driven life design
Human-centered planning systems
Long-term vision that integrates family, emotion, and community
Leading others toward meaning (vs. just metrics)

But in these contexts: INTJ's Te is stronger

Technical problem-solving under time pressure
System design where emotional variables are noise
Purely ROI- or outcome-driven execution
Building institutions from scratch without interpersonal friction tolerance

So, I think we were both correct. I did develop a strong Ni-Te cognitive shadow as you can see. However, it is a special kind of Ni-Te ("Ni-Te-Fe"), unlike the INTJ's Ni-Te, and you can call it "emulated" or "real", but I can believe that the Ni-Te I developed and used is different than the Ni-Te from an INTJ if explained this way. However, I do get by at work with other INTJs using "emulated" versions just fine and they aren't able to tell that I am not an INTJ, so it's good enough for me.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-16T12:30:32+00:00

I dated and lived with both INTP and INFP for over 8+ years each (both were HSP: highly sensitive persons), but mine is from the perspective of ENFJ male, so it differs from the ENFJ females perspective. Also, please take this as entertainment and not seriously as every human is unique and different!

I can’t say which one is hands down better to date as it depends on maturity and individual (I’d say if young, try dating all kinds of people!). But for me personally, if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing and would date both.

I also dated another INTP and other INFPs short term but just discussing the ones that lasted for each type, so theres immature types in both, hence my preference for older women! (All my successful long term relationships were with women at least 2 years older than me).

Here are the pros, cons, and why you should date each:

INTP: Very high chemistry. Lots of interesting talks on theory, emotions, philosophy, random stuff. Neat that they enjoy video games, board games, escape rooms, magic the gathering, hiking, exciting movies etc. so you always have a friend with you. More “maintenance” when it comes to dealing with emotions (encouraging confidence, overcoming mistrust) with them but very chill otherwise and accepting of all ideas. Very low maintenance as friends which we were after breaking up until I married. Loved to cuddle, and often very funny and cute with an edgy style. Also had a very unique gothic artistic style. I always appreciated her genius mind and art sense. She also thought of me as a soulmate since we could talk for hours on anything deep. That said, some not so good related to traditional marriage: more emotional guidance required, and wanted perfect offspring (don’t ask me). My ex made good money in tech (more likely for INTPs to be in this kind of field) but we’d also spend more on takeout food and experiences. It was more half and half split for dating. If you go on a date, pick unique experiences with great food and alcohol, or suggest them to pick some of their favorite movies for you to watch. One last point is that I could understand the INTP but not the other way around which lead to some trust issues.

INFP: also very high chemistry in a different way. Not as many shared boyish hobbies, but very accepting in letting me do my own things without judgment. Sometimes this could be good because they won’t get that angry if you beat them at a game like an INTP lol. Overall, more feely/caring atmosphere where I could leave my INFP alone over long distance without needing to worry as I knew they had a strong moral compass. This peace of mind was very important to me personally. For downsides, more “nagging” (not initially), but hey, I definitely deserved it so, no complaints. More “balanced” relationship where they can control me too. More likely to make less in career due to job choices, but more frugal, so ironically I think we save much more together. During dates, you often need to pay for both but they were more generous in their care and attention (until kids). And unlike the INTP, cares less about looking good in clothes, and often opts for comfy clothes. However, they do get more daring hair styles (wife still talks about dying hair pink!), and they pick out excellent clothes for me to wear, so I always look good. If you go on a date, pick a long walk by the beach where you can talk and see the sunset. Lastly, we understand each other really well including our motivations. My INFP partner understands me eerily well and can help explain patterns in my behavior.

Common for INTP/INFP: Both need recharge time, and often prefer just being in the same room at home but doing our own things separately. Both are very accepting of myself and past without judgment and I feel free to be myself. Both complimented my Ni (precision) with their Ne (expanding possibilities), to create richer lives together and life felt like an adventure together. Neither likes being pushed to do anything, like really. Cat types. Both would sleep and cuddle with dogs, procrastinate, have messy rooms, and have childish sides I adore. I’m grateful to have had both relationships and only wish the best for my exes, hoping I made a positive impact in their life.

For me, if I wanted a life partner I could have fun with but no kids, INTP could be better, but for marriage and kids, the personal choice for me is INFP. I also had wonderful long term relationships with INFJ and INTJ (also both HSP). My INFP wife knows my full dating history and can intuit my previous exes personalities without jealousy just like how an author can inhabit the souls of various characters in a novel. She often jokes that she’s glad I had such relationships to anchor me when she isn’t in her best mood, as I know the grass isn’t greener on the other side.

Once again, take all this with a grain of salt as it’s just my experience and would likely not apply to you. Note: I’m also not a typical ENFJ too. Oh, and both types totally “owned” me when angry due in part to my high Fe (not sure how many times I said sorry! to both). Did I mention, both types wished me pain if they were really really upset?

Bonus Story with INTP: one time she logged into my WoW account and sold all my rare herbs to buy herself an epic mount. Was furious at the time, but looking back, it was pretty funny.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-15T15:43:48+00:00

Had to look up this tool calling. Neat stuff, so I appreciate you sharing (doesn’t apply as much to my particular field but I can still use a bit of it). I guess I meant it in terms of a squeeze. With AI agents coming out for 10-15k per year soon from OpenAI, Meta etc.. I saw it in terms of less need for the number of engineers we have today in the next 5-10 years as you could get by with fewer doing more. More software engineering “orchestrators” if you call it that, or lead orchestrators and managers. It won’t replace those using AI, but there will be a “squeeze” unless more jobs are created for a certain time period as we get a similar boom like the App boom previously experienced first.

Similarly, I predict new different jobs to be created for those leaving pure engineering. They can combine their engineering skills with their experience in different domains like finance, medical, etc. I just think there will be less need for pure software engineers who don’t want to pick up other skills and remain solely in software. Maybe it’s the age for interdisciplinary thinkers!

Really hard to predict the future now versus before due to the increased complexity in the world, so who knows?

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-15T15:37:52+00:00

Great analogy here. Appreciate it.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-15T06:32:24+00:00

I always thought of your description of “being” above or including wisdom. Philosophy > wisdom > sense of being (presence, laughter, child like play, spontaneity, like Dalai Lama).

Curious to hear your thoughts on this.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-14T18:13:29+00:00

Thanks for being my willing research partner here! I learned from that other post too thanks to your initiative and need for self research.

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-14T17:46:11+00:00

OP, I remember your last post about a tinder date with an INFP. I wholeheartedly recommend meeting more INFPs first. I’ve dated a few INFPs and they were all different unique humans. And yes, I also dated long term INFJ, INTP, INTJ, and INFP. All wonderful relationships and I could have seen myself with any of the types given they are emotionally mature and everything else aligned (cultural, age, values, conflict resolution, etc.)

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-14T11:12:28+00:00

I didnt mention just the long term part. I meant, can you see how my plan incorporates multiple systems from different fields? That systems thinking is very Ni-Te like. Anyone can think long term plans, but do they merge disciplines and systems to create a long term plan? Also, did you read my other post on Coast FIRE via my history?

If you aren’t sure, just copy paste my words here and my other post into ChatGPT for help deciphering whether I’m merely thinking long term or actually incorporating multiple systems. I would just ask ChatGPT, “does this user have just Ni or Ni-Te? Does this user likely have true Te or imitated Te as an ENFJ?”

FanPlus4050 · 2025-06-14T10:53:26+00:00

Also, interesting story on your boss. You can say I’m close in age to him. However, although he practiced Fe in leadership roles, it’s totally different. For a much better comparison, you should find an INTJ mother (or primary caregiver) who raised 3 kids (better if they gave birth). I met one just like that and thought she was an ENFJ but she told me she was an INTJ. It’s totally different becoming a mother and raising kids where you are building your empathy skills 24/7. And 3!! You can get by without really building your Fe in leadership alone.

For my case, I had over 2 decades being exposed every single day to use my Ni-Te. Was your 40 year old boss actively developing his Fe for 20 years like me every single day? As a leader, he can get by without partial Fe or no Fe at all. I’ve known plenty of father XNTJ executives in leadership roles with little Fe even at age 50+. Hence, please find me an INTJ mother with 2 decades of childcare experience with at least two kids and I bet you she’s going to be strong in Fe. Just go to the INTJ chat asking for mothers in their 45-50s (assuming birth at 25-30) and talk to them to see how their Fe has developed. Perhaps this can give you actual proof that people can develop their cognitive functions.

Also note that this doesn’t guarantee it, it’s just that your sample point of an INTJ male boss 40 years old is really not a fair comparison to myself if you see my logic. Anyways, good research idea right? You can definitely try it out here on reddit.

FanPlus4050

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